h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now there's a question!!!!

You're quite right - it certainly was a question!

Alas.... no answer to enhance my edumication. Despite appearances, I do seem to have led a very sheltered life, honest!

Sheltered life??? Ev??/ You??? hmmmmmmm I must have had one too then, cos I have a clue what one them is either! If you find out and you do enjoy it please let me know eh?

As you may be able to tell I am at work today, just for the day!! I actually have a weekend off!! (and yes the oil for the weekend will be used!! )

Sorry for lack of email, but it has been down to lack of
a) working computer and
b) time when I have been at work and not working my arse off!! Sorry !

Hope everyone is well

IF I get told... and if I enjoy it.. well... MAYBE I might just mention it in passing. Especially if I can remember what it was I was offered in the first place!

Are we well? Right now Spike, that is a bloody loaded question! The D.L.A. have got in touch with me - and they're sending "an unbiased" medical examiner to interview and examine me - apparently they will be in touch over the phone sometime next week... oh deep joy and excitement.
Frankly, I'm dreading it - all that invasion of privacy... telling some official stranger my business and having to admit to all the stuff I find a lot harder to do than I'll actually admit to anyone... YUK! Apparently you have to tell them in detail how "my apparent disability" affects my life. Trouble IS, I'm so used to the restrictions, I take a lot of it as "normal" now - according to a friend who called on me this morning, I've gone downhill a lot since Christmas, but its been so gradual I haven't really noticed - and you can bet your life this "unbiased" bod won't be asking me any leading questions! But as I can have a member of familly or friend with me, I think I'll ask young Sue to come along to the interview.
Or Kevin 2, or Smirnoff. Depends who's availiable I guess.

Work. Ah yes, I remember work. Its that stuff you do to pass the time and get paid for, isn't it?

Good to hear you have a weekend off; I trust your return to this "work" lark will see you pleasantly tired and rather smug

I think the brain cell must be a bit slow.... its taken me 4 days to figure out what a General McArther IS.

Deary me. And there was I, thinking me luck had changed!

Oh well, back to the drawing board............

A small piece of advice from an "unbiased" pal re the quack.... Be 150% honest about exactly how difficult things are for you. Personal pride is wonderful for getting in the way of what you are due. My gran was the same... "oh, im ok really, I can cope".. Cope?? Its only cos i went round unexpected on the way home from work I found her on her back in the garden, after she had been trying to hang out some washing, that she finally accepted some help from the state. Bloody obstinate old bat! She was lovely but a typical "old dear"!

make sure you write EVERYTHING down that you find the slightest bit difficult. From the minute you wake up to going to bed and the lack of sleep whilst in bed cos of the pains... If you dont write everything down before he/she comes to pick your brains you will forget a load of stuff. I know you probably already know this.... ignore the twitterings of a cynical old git if im teaching you to suck eggs! I just know how "independant" you are !!

Weekend was fine thank you, and as you say all returned to work very smug!! Especially as I had the winner in the national in the sweepstake at work. Not a bad return for a pound investment! I didnt even realise until saturday evening.

Got to , there seems to be and being offered in the office here! dont want to miss out!

Yeah... you're right - its the "independant" bit I'm going to have to put in its place.... and as for the list - I'm ahead of ya - I began (mentally) tallying up all the stuff that "hurts" from Saturday, when I got the phone call. So far, I have covered 4 A4 sheets with "stuff" (mind you, I have big handwriting) - I HATE doing this, but its darned necessary I guess. And the 150%. That too, has to be done. All thats getting in the way, when's said and done is my pride - and surely to god I can put that down for a couple of hours? I can always pick it up when the bugger's gone!

Well done on the National's winner btw - the weekend was very good to you then!

Onward with the list - if I can't convince him with logic, then I'll have to bore him into submission!

Nahhhhhhh go theatrical

What? Thatrical like that boring bugger who wrote "Waiting for Godot"?

Dahlings! What a soooper idea!

Ah well, win some, lose some. I'm obviously a "resting" thespian.I'm not considered disabled enough to qualify for DLA, but they did tell me about something called Incapacity Benefit, which is a label I could cope with being given. Haven't been incapacitated lately, so it's worth a try, I reckon They're sending me a script for that within the next 4 to 5 working days - theirs, I assume, not mine, since I don't work (for money) any more.

Various bods have told me that they always refuse you firdt time and you have to appeal to get anything.

'tis a foul plot to weed out all the really tired and depressed folk...

Yeah... and they're the ones who are too tired and depressed to be able to make the attempt!

(Rather a cunning plan, there, Baldrick)

Alas for them, I don't feel so depressed I can't fight back.
Depresion?
They want depression?

Here... 'Ave Some!

No ta. My quack appears to think I've got enough already.

No,no,no, you twit! I meant *them*, not you. I know I can rely on you to provide your own unique brand of it.

Unique brand? Should I feel insulted?

What's so offensive about being unique?

Unique (I thought) was rather a good thing to be.

Unique, infact.

Unique unorque

Wha?????

Unique New York.

Try it, if you dare.

Nah... I only do depressed occaisionally. Tried Mad once, but didn't like it (Bognor, if I remember rightly)