h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bognor off?

Mad isn't a good idea. They put you in a hospital ward with locked doors and nurses with no sympathy who leave you to scream.
The only thing that saved me was a nice German orderly who came and talked to me when she wasn't mopping.

I found mad was great fun - it kept all the other loonies away!

Besides... what earthly use is sympathy? The Irish worked on the premise that you'd have to stop screaming sooner or later - and then they'd ask you nicely what was the matter.

If you screamed agained, they'd go off and have a pint.

(And if you didn't, they'd bring YOU one... I believe its called Speech Terapy. Very pragmatic are the Irish)

Tell that to an 18 year old having hallucinations, tucked out of the way where she won't bother anyone and left to get on with it.

Well I never! Tefkat's still online according to this thing.

Remarkable!

(And even MORE remarkable, is that the same thing happened to a 25yr old I know. I STILL think the guiness therapy is a good idea. How the hell can anyone articulate anything if all they do is scream? Surely its a case of talk... or forever be ignored?)

Is Autumn about, do you think? Or has she lost her password?

Who knows. Perhaps we should give her a call.

altogether now

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Au-tumn

You grated?

Ah... the wonders of modern technologologologology.

And the miricle of how much one can abuse the spelling of the English language. Welcome Mrs.

Hi there all!! Yes i know no-one noticed my enforced absence. It was horrible being abducted by a group of Heather Locklear clones, but i somehow made it through!

Madness, insanity, depression, feeling a bit fed up, are all very close together in the great scheme of things. somtimes difficult to tell one from t'other. Although I have been "v. peed off" from time to time and did go "wibble" a few years back as an alternative to punching my bosses lights out, i cannot talk form personal experience of depression etc. HOWEVER, Spike Millligans book "Depression and how to survive it" (written with his psychiatrist Anthony Clare) gave me an insight i never had before. Spike was in hospital about a mile up the road from my house at various times and wrote some of his best (in my humble opinion) pomes whilst there.... An interesting read.

Have you been depressed during your enforced absence Spike, or was that just an answer to preceding posts?

Either way

I'm not depressed by the way. Neither are Autumn, Eccentrica, Madam Kat, Marie Antoinette, Lady Godiva or the werewolf. Canna spook for t'others (t'Ban Sidhe prolly is).

(Stopped taking the codeine and the hallucinations wented but the pain came back )

Your new stuff still werking Ev?

Nah Tef... it was just me rambling about previous post. Absence was just real life taking over, PC Bu***ring about at home, work being manic and me being lazy!

Thanks for the welcome back!! Would you like some ? There appears to be a load of it been brought in to the office for someone's birthday!

Spike. I've never been known to refuse cake. In fact I'm sitting here eating a couple of Lurch's rocks right now.

Aha! Normal service has been resumed, I see. Welcome back Spike, good to see you around.

The PC modem has been appropriated for the last week, being fixed - I had a corrupted disc... no smart comments, please. Anyway, it appears to be all working OK again...

I'm not on any gunk atall now Tef - came off all the dope cold turkey about 10 weeks ago, and feel brilliant - like I've woken up after a long, unrefreshing sleep. Still in pain though - so I take a hefty paracetamol/codine painkiller when I need to - and go aqua arobicing 5 times a week, and Tai Chi once weekly, to keep the muscles stretched and in trim until I get the "Denervation" op - worst case scenario will be a nine month wait (Whoopeedoo). It doesn't involve any "surgury" as such, simply radio waves which should - in theory - cauterise the rogue nerve endings that are causing me the pain. It won't "cure" the degeneration - nothing will, but at least I'll be out of pain (in theory). I'll still have a weak back, which simply will mean I'll just have not to be superwoman and - oh deary deary me, will have to get other people to do my lifting, carrying and hard physical work. Ain't life a bitch somehow? But without the pain in the back, and all the referred pain, I should be almost human very soon... which will be rather nice.

So in the meantime, I'm in the throes of setting up an aromatherapy business on the net, selling information and goods - I've worked out that I'll have a stock of approx 150 items that I can make and market, not including the bought stock and basic essential oils, so it looks like I'm going to be a busy little bunny, which suits me fine, since it'll occupy what passes for my mind whilst I wait to be called for this op!

Well lads, thats me up to date for a bit. I'm doing a wonderful impression of a much lighter-in-weight lobster (Lost 2 stone since January and STILL reducing.. don't ask HOW, cos I don't know!). Spent a couple of hours on the beach this morning, before the DFL*s arrived to monopolise the shingle. Got well and truely scorched.
It's hell living so close to the sea, sometimes, its almost compulsory enjoyment to get a tan at this time of year!!!

*DFLs - the Down From London crowd.

PS I hope Lurch recovers alright from your forays into his culinary delights........

Normal service Ev?? Hmmmm. OK I can just about cope with normal after the football last night!! In fact i need a bit of "normal" to bring me back to the real world.

Hope you arent too sore after forays into sunshine. I have Tues & Wed off this week, but seem to have a load of things on my "to do" list that apparently need doing. Now't exciting either....

Think I'll try to escape up the woods with the dog this afternoon. That is if all the picnic-ers have gone. I cant take him up there when there are people sitting around with food type stuff on blankets!! He is the typical dog... eats anything anytime any where!

Your "surgery" sounds pretty hi-tec stuff. But if stops pain, its got to be good for you!

right, here i go....back to the grindstone!

Ah yes... footy. I believe we came second last night? Oh well, win a few, lose a few I guess - altho the lads didn't quite take that point of view either.

Naw.. not too sore this morning, just well strap marked, and doing my usual summer impression of a patchwork quilt. One of these years I will pluck up enough courage to find a nudist beach where I can get a nice, and above all *uniform* tan. Possibly not this lifetime though - *I* have a sense of humour, but I don't believe the rest of the population is ready for a sight of my bag of spanner shaped phyisquew, somehow!

Oh... btw, "normal" is relative.. possibly a second cousin, several times removed!

Just to up date - I have finally been called into Day Surgury at Kent and Canterbury Hospital for my long awaited Denervation, on Monday 11th April 2005.

If I were able to leap up and down without hurting, or even spiritedly hop manically from foot to foot I would, but unfortunately I've galloping arthritus in both knees, both feet (shoulders, elbows and wrists, too, if you'd like a complete(ish) list of ailments) and that would cause a leetle too much discomfort.

So I'll simply grin quietly to myself and make a note in the journal instead!

4th April 2005 10.55am

This time next week it should all have been done. Or worst case scenario I'll be lurching down the corridor to the operating theatre if I'm last in.

Its not a habit that I've allowed myself to get into - looking forward to stuff, as a rule. But I'm making a small exception in this case. I am looking forward very much to the surcease of pain and referred pain in particular. It means I may be able to get a bit of a job and stretch the brain and horizons a bit (and actually get to spend a bit of money even!) It means I will be able to re-learn to move more fluidly nd easilly thus reducing the accumulated aches and postural probs from having the painful back.

And best of all, when I'm asked "How are you?" I can honestly answer "I feel great, thanks"

7 days and counting......