h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Your place, or mine?

It'll have to be yours!

Remind me NEVER EVER to allow Wendythewitch near my PC again... infact, remind me to tether her in the kitchen and put a padlock on the living room door and a large nuclear device near the PC with a sign marked "Beware of the Leopard" on the screen. I don't quite know what she's done to my poor old computor... but I'll never play the violin again at this rate!

Honestly... I try to sign in to MSN thingy (which now insists on being updated every 42 seconds) and I manage to get to Son number one's email account.... After a massive scramble thru myriad sites and pop ups I finally get to MSN only to be told I can't get to my MSN messenger.... and its only because I threatened to tell her husband I managed to get a link on me favourites to H2g2.



I want a proper default thingummybob.....


AND I WANT IT NOW!!!

(Plus... every bit of work I've ever done on the WP has gorn west... and all because the lady wanted to speed up my system! Honestly.. I should have stuck to the Kiwi fruits and told her no thank you)

Wish i was an "expert" in this sort of stuff, but cant help im afraid!! "friends" and computers often dont go together.. I had a mate once who thought he could fix my broken mini. The brakes needed doing among other stuff, and he said he could do it, so i foolishly let him take me beloved car. He returned it later that week. I went to go to work, brakes failed at bottom of the drive and i hit a lamp post!!

An expensive mistake! Funny but we didnt really speak much after that!!

Hope everone slept ok...here have some or

I'm definately becoming an expert in not letting madam near my PC again!!! Trouble is, she's a really really good mate - she has a heart of gold - but she does tend to jump in and "do" before she assesses the situation (and that goes for most aspects of her life!)

But somehow, you can't help but like her. Or be cross for long.. her face was an absolute study in panic when the black and white writing blitted up on the screen and said words to the effect of can't get back in matey! I'm getting the hang of the labarynth entry she's made - I can at least e mail and I haven't lost my addresses.... and I have found tons of paper notes that I can rescan into the "Word" part of my computor, so I'll get some of my work back that way... but the drafts have gorn into the ether.

I was right, you know. If you can't touch the records, they arn't safe! I shall stick with my dinasour system of the backs of envelopes and shoe boxes in future... and just make sure the fire alarm is working at all times!

Ah well... it passes the time..... and I do know a couple of real experts who will probably help me out... we can always hold a seance on the hard drive and see whats left, I guess

get scannin quick eh!


And then put them on a CD - and hide it!!!!!

Erm... I can scan... but the discs are too small to write on... and I don't know how to download things onto things, yet.... I'm having the devils own job changing my name back properly on the start up bit - she INSISTS on spelling it with a G... and I always spell me with a J!




And you KNOW what happens if I put anything away "safe".... future historians will find it, but *I* won't be able to!!!

The answer is in pretty biscuit tins and marker pens.

Thats where the future lies... never mind this sillycone invasion

sillycone??? Now are we talking ice cream vans who insist on comig round dead on tea/lunch time or motorway roadworks?? And where on earth do biscuit tins fit into the grand scheme of things?

I seem to remember blue peter presenter making something from an old biscuit tin, but cant remember what it were...

very useful to foil the

?? pink or white with string for a tail???


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

the tiny black ones that try to climb your ankles are the worst.

why would little black tails try to climb your ankles?? I remember my nan used to make sugar mice at her work and brought home a bag for me and sis every weekend!! !YUMMMM!!! Theyd probably be banned by the EEC or something now as being unethical, to sweet or having string for tails which is dangerous to kids!! its funny but I cant ever remember, even at age of 4 or 5 "I really must eat that string it looks so nice"

Ah... but that was in the good old days beore EU regs make it compulsory enjoyment for normal, intelligent kids to be seen to be seeing stuff the same moronic way as the politically correct eejits who dreamed up the regulations in the first place!

(Yes.. I think I got that right!)

I got another letter from the Yellow Perils today - thanking me for my enquiries... they're "researching" again. Obviously they don't rely on biscuit tins marked with "difficult accounts" on the tin lid type filing.

File the letter under Yellow Penis

Sounds like a load of old to me!


(I think I'll stick it in the "W" for winning tin... rather than the w for nuisences tin I had the paper work in)

Onward! Time to do battle with the local council... my Housing Benefit has gone AWOL. This is not a good thing!

Methinks you should have a "p" file for pain in the ass, specifically for Yellow Pages!! As for your benefits, has it gone in the post, or jsut not been paid into your bank?? Just being nosey that sall, cos we have had problems with the dreaded poll tax, and our bank account with the local council....

Its not been paid into my account! And the local council... are like local councils everywhere.... making life overly complicated and blaming everything on "the computor" Amazing that.

prolly IS the pooter. local councils are so tight they won't pay for decent equipment, software or support so the staff have to struggle to cope with dinosaur droppings.

and liaison between councils and dss is an unattainable dream...

and as for the ing bureaucratic health service.
and the bureaucrats that call themselves gps.

that just sort of slipped out.

as you were. i was leaving anyway

No.. go on. Don't feel you have to moderate yourself. There's obviously something thats upset you.

(But don't believe it about councils and DHSS.. not this neck of the woods, anyway. They're very hot on "naughties" so it has to work both ways)