h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And I've spent the last week trying to figure out what wysiwyger stood for...

The best I came uo with was When You Sign In Watch Your Greatest Enemy Run

OK, so that Hazel doesn't complain that we are neglecting our womanly duties in swapping tips, here is mine for today. Buy a dog, not only is it useful for being blamed for all those little accidents (especially windypop accidents and other bad smells) but it can be combined for dishwashing activities too. Never wash a plate again and no need to load the dishwasher Just lay the plates on the floor and the dof will do the rest. Alternatively, if you are allergic to dogs, use paper plates.

Tip of the Week:

If you get tired of ironing your dishcloths, simply re-cycle them on the compost heap. Next year, your rhubarb will not only have a delicious flavour, but will wash your face at the same time!

Well girlies, Hazel will be most disappointed that tips are not being added on a regular basis. Here's a couple. First, my favourite, that spray stuff you can get for christmas trees to stop the needles dropping, well why not apply it to your pets to prevent hair drop which will then save you having to take up tip2, which is to use a bicycle pump backwards as a handy make shift vacuum cleaner

Magster,

Why not market the spray stuff for dropping pine needles to balding men? Hey presto, no need for a syrup!

LOL Max...does this mean you are thinning a little and you are speaking from experience

Glad to see the tips are rolling in thick and fast! Well, thick anyway.

What's a "vacuum cleaner" Magster? Is it some sort of scientific apparatus?

Hazel, I'm not totally sure what a vacuum cleaner does because although I have one, Mr Magster never did explain its precise purpose to me. Me thinks that is because he doesn't know what they do either. Maybe they clean vacuums?

Today's tip from the magster. Now gels, you know how I hate washing and ironing, well this tip saves both and doesn't cost too much either. Underwear; wear paper knickers, they can be recycled with the newspapers. Other clothes; when dirty take them to the local charity shop. They will wash and iron them, put them on the rails and then you can buy them back for 20 pence

Yes - I've heard of this "ironing" device as well. It gets hot, and flattens things. Reminds me of an ex-Mr Hazel, somehow.

Cripes Hazel, sounds like it's a good job he's an ex Mr Hazel. Have a glass of with me. That's better

Magster,

That is a fine idea. That is up there with the turn-your-pants-inside-out-and-get-another-month's-usage-out-of-them idea.

Oops. Sorry, I'm not allowed in here, am I?

(Hi Hazel)

Cheers! (huge slurp) Yes - that is better! I never could seem to get the hang of sipping.

Evening Alistair, of course you're allowed. We'll make you an honourary girlie Or are you just here for the sirty talk? It's OK Ali, I know you like it

Lol Hazel, I'm a glugger myself. Bottle to lips and glug. Much better

oops, I meant D I R T Y talk not sirty. Too much wine...glug

Magster - I don't know how to talk "sirty"! Do you?

Hi Alistair - of course you're welcome. Just slip your shoes off by the door. otherwise they might stick to the carpet.

Magster,

I know loads of girlies. Oooh, I'd say I know about seven or maybe eight (apart from my mum). Subsequently, I reckon I know all there is to know about women.

Rofl Alistair, go on then, tell me something I don't know about girlies

You can't too much dirtier than month-old pants, but let's not go there.