h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

2 month old pants?

Come again Ali?

Well, for a start, girlies look different and talk differently to blokes. Girlies aren't as good at cricket as blokes. In fact, some girlies don't even understand or appreciate cricket, which I find staggering.

Er, that's it.

Hazel, what do you find sticks to the carpet best. Food is pretty good and kiddie sick is even better.

I can say with utter confidence that I have never worn a pair of pants for that long. Actually, I'm quite hygienic: I change my socks every week!

Kebab.

Ali, I resent the cricket remark, take a slap young man...I am a former accredited umpire for the first division surrey slazanger league...probably called something different now. Cricket is a lovely game when the weather is sunny. Get a lot of chaps on your lips though when its windy

Candle wax makes a really lovely mess. Also if you ever happen to have got a bit creative and tried to make something involving glue and glitter then that works really well. Not that I ever have, of course.

Aha! I remember you saying! I used to play in the Surrey leagues and I can't recall you. That said, if you had given me LBW, I would have remembered you. Oh yes.

We have a lady umpire, as it happens.

Hmmm, candle wax, terrible on the bed sheets too

Ali, who did/do you play for....I got into it all through a loose association with SWACC

You see, that's another girlie trait: the ability to make things out of stuff. I mean, no bloke would ever think of trying to make something out of glitter or glue (nor would you, Hazel, of course) but girlies could probably make a nice hat out of material like that.

Churt. Surrey Div 1 (just below the Championship).

You could be right Ali. Blokes do like to take things to bits, rather than making them. Then they just lie around for ages doing a good job of making some more mess on the carpet. (The bits, I mean, not the bloke. Although, come to think of it....)

I can't say I ever went over there Alistair. If you had met me, you would have remembered me...I am unforgettable I think you were perhaps too young being a mere lad, my time there was mid to late 80's.

I shall bid you goodnight Hazel. I'm off down the garden for a ciggie and I may not be back..

Morning all: shall we make this the morning check-in point for a couple of days?

Hot, corn-on-the-cob, brie.

W**k: pah!

Mornin' all,

No, I'm not thinning - I have strand upon strand of long girly locks, Magster!

As mentioned previously, kiddy snot seems a bit tricky to get off of anything, especially carpets.

I may be very fractious for a while - I'm about to try to give up smoking! I have the 2nd doctor's appointment tonight and will be starting with the patches very soon.

Sorry for the abrupt departure last night. My head exploded so I had to go to bed.

Churt is known as the 'dust bowl' because, well, it's dusty and the square is set in a bowl. It's a gorgeous ground. Very Surrey.

I'll get me pads.

For a bloke I am incredibly impractical. I struggle to change a flat tyre on a car.

Morning all. Are all the blokes honorary girlies today?

In brief: hot, sunny, 18 Celsius with a gentle, warm westerly breeze lightly brushing the erogenous zones of the rolling Hampshire countryside/rosemary/John Kettley/no cereal.

Today's message is: "It's like rain on your wedding day."