h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yep, I'm here!

Just came online this very minute, actually, but like you I've been feeling unenthusiastic for a week or so. May be the unseasonally warm weather we've been having.

I'm about half way through the Lovely Bones, and it's excellent.

How's the back and stuff?

Noggin

Back is totally f**ked, thanks

Atchly, it's my upper back HUMP that is now the main problem. Lower back probs have subsided. But you know, I have this horrible unsightly and extremely painful HUMP at the base of my neck now (well, for the past three of four months). It really hurts. It's also really ugly. And well, I'm insecure enough about how I look without having a massive HUMP on the back of my FAT neck. Ho hum.

Still withholding opinion on The Lovely Bones until you finish.

'Unseasonably warm' weather in July? If you don't get warm weather in July the when else do you get it?

I'm still feeling unenthusiastic too. It's not necessarily a bad feeling - just kinda blah. A bit of a sloppy feeling, somehow.

Hey, you missed the lastest toxxic az-attack yesterday. Luckily Math was around to come to my rescue - my Druid saviour. But then today toxxin got on this thing about paedophiles not being wrong or illegal - and he equated paedophiles with homosexuals. Anyhow - weirdo mess. Moth told me he has done this before. But I'd had a few glasses of wine this afternoon so got all emotional and no doubt totally embarrassed myself on the thread. But oh well. They'll all have forgotten about it by . . . tomorrow?

word of caution - do not ever jest with me about child abuse - ok?

Need a serious back massage. Tried to convince hootoo pal Witchone to spend a week here - her room and board for a week in exchange for her famous healing massages. But she can't afford the airfare right now. And I can't afford a masseuse. So - ouch.

Any other news?

az

I quite appreciate your feelings about the paedophilia issue (having just caught up on the backlog on F or F), and if anyone messed with any of the children I know - well, you can guess what. The original posts were not models of clarity, though, and in law there is a distinction between an orientation and actually *doing* something.
The tricky question is what you do with people who haven't (yet) committed a crime, but *may* be a danger to others.

Have you any idea what's causing the hump? Is the spine out of shape, or is there some sort of growth of the bone? Either way you really should have it checked out.

Not much in the way of news. I get up, I work, I go to sleep. Need a holiday, really. Barbados, Hawaii, somewhere like that. I'd settle for Skegness, even.

Noggin

noooooooooo. . . the paedophile thing started with toxxin mouthing of on the God thread. Then I just happened to mention it on FFFF. But not before I wrote a whole rambling bunch of stuff on the God thread. And only after toxxin said even more horrible stupid stuff and even Math had another go at him. What can I say? Haven't been up to much else this afternoon. Well, teaching a bit and reading. And hootooing.

All of my doctor students tell my the HUMP is a muscle contraction and they recommended muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatories. yeah right. Anyhow, yes, I do need to see a doctor. And shall do this . . . soon! It really is almost unbearably painful though. Ouch.

Hey - need a holiday? Come to Spain! I have two rooms available in the extra flat I rent out next door - during the last two weeks of August. Will be hot as f**k then but the beach is only an hour's drive away. Was trying to convince raindog to bring his family but I don't think that's going to happen.

Skegness?

az

Oooo I wish I could. Two weeks in Spain would be wonderful. Alas, it can't be done Maybe another time, depending on how my *retirement* works out.

Skegness is a holiday resort on the east coast of merrie England that was once popular with the proles of the Industrial Revolution, and for obvious reasons the butt of many a joke. Though why it should be thought any funnier than Mablethorpe or Bognor I have no idea.

Noggin

well, never mind. I won't be taking a holiday either because, well, I never do.

Am going to spend the rest of the summer trying to start up this other part-time biz, attempting to lose weight and hopefully getting rid of my HUMP. Such a thrilling life I do lead.

Your 'retirement'? Well, excuse me if this sound a bit indelicate for asking, but since you are doing this job at a local post-officy-shop place . . . well, just wondering what else you have been doing all these many years before this job. Since you are, what?, 50 now?

What other sort of work have you done?

I'm always interested in people's work. Sometimes it only ends up being the best thing they could find at the time. But other times it shows where someone's strong personal interests lie.

az

Hmmm, well let's see... I've been doing this job for sixteen years.

Before that I worked for an accountant - that WAS a "the only job going" job.

And I started off working in computers. The first one I used had 4k bytes of memory (about the same as a modern washing machine) and could be fitted neatly into an aircraft hangar .

What I *should* have done, of course, was worked at school, gone to university, and lived the rest of my life in an ivory tower somewhere.

The joys of hindsight, eh?

How about you?

Noggin

Jobs:

age 14 - cleaned tables in a nightclub

age 15 - cashier at hardware store (whilst putting myself through highschool, after having just left home)

age 17 - installing underground sprinkler system for the grounds of the parliament buildings in Winnipeg.

age 18 - working in coffin factory doing light upholstery work

age 19 - courier/messenger driver

ages 20-25 too many jobs to count, but got married and divorced twice during this time so was otherwise quite busy.

age 25 - moved to Toronto to study fashion design, left course after three months, followed by five years of:

- working for a securities company
- managing an accessories shop
- doing various office temp stuff
- working for about five different designers in Toronto (the closest I ever came to having a 'career'!)
- no marriages

age 31 - quit fashion biz because I hated it and took a waitering job at my friend's Peruvian restaurant-
-tried to start own clothing biz, lost lots of money

age 33 - met extremely young English guy who somehow convinced me to move to Bristol (though I knew I really wanted to move to Spain)

age 33- moved to Bristol. Took any crap job I could. Had to marry boyfriend to get work papers.

age 34 - no more boyfriend/husband. moved to Spain

ages 34-46
teaching English, barely surviving, mostly living hand to mouth, still trying to start a clothing biz because I *know* it could work, have a few other small biz ideas going . . .

note: due to lack of memory cannot right now remember about 20-30 other jobs I have had from ages 15-25 - none of them were interesting, but some of them provided a few interesting experiences.

Now I would like to be rich and retire and not have to ever ever again have to worry about how I am going to pay my rent.

az

some of the other jobs that I can remember:

- working at a candy factor packaging licorice all-sorts
- designing and making custom window shades
- apprenticing with a tailor for a year
- being a 'time-keeper' at a nickel mine in northern Manitoba
- being a gardener/groundskeeper for the same nickel mine
- being a bookkeeper for a small construction company
- being secretary/bookkeeper for small real estate company
- working for an aerobics club designing work-out clothing
- working at a deli take-out place
- working at a posh nouveau-Italian cuisine restaurant (fab tips!)
- being a bookeeper for a futon shop
- working in a shop that sold Icelandic knitwear
- five restaurant jobs in Bristol, once I was doing three of them all at the same time!
- substitute teaching for various English schools in Seville

That is all I can remember at the moment. Am quite sure there are more but because they were so mind-numbingly boring I must have blanked them out of my mind.

az

Well, I make that an average of seven minutes per job, providing you've been working 24/7

Makes my lifetime tally of six look pretty small.

Worst job - filling envelopes for mail shots. I stuck it for one day.

Noggin

Some of the jobs only lasted a few days, others a few weeks or sometimes a few months. Nothing ever long term.

I've been working for more than thirty years. It does add up. And yes, most of them were short term crap jobs.

Sorry you don't believe me or that you think I am exaggerating. I am not. Why would I?

az

Howdy,

Have just unsubsribed from the God thread. Too much is enough, as they say. It actually feels quite good. Anyhow, I have probably said all I have to say on that subject.

What are your summer plans? Will you be taking holidays, going to Skegness? Or just hanging out at home.

I just met a friend for a beer as she is leaving tomorrow for holidays - there were a couple other people there also getting ready to leave the city. Sigh. I'll be here trying to get my AlternaTours idea going if I can. Wish me luck!

az

I was JOKING. Sorry if my sense of humour is a bit odd, but short of

JOKE ALERT! JOKE ALERT! JOKE ALERT! there's nothing I can do about it.

No holiday this year. Again. Major drawback of being self employed.

Haven't posted much on the GFF thread myself, lately, but I still keep an eye on it. Old habits die hard.

Noggin

Oh yes, well, you did stick a smiley on there, didn't you? Well, never mind. Have I ever told you that I have just the slightest tendencey to be the smidgiest wee bit over-sensitive at times? Not that anyone would ever notice, of course . . .

F**k it's hot here! Again. Still? No, actually it was just extremely warm for the past week ago, now it is hardly cooling off at night until about 6am. Which makes for perfect coolish fresh air when I take my bike ride around 8.30. But I'm not complaining (am I?). I just don't like it when I have to go out to work at midday at the absoluteliest hottest time in order to teach my hospital classes. And the air conditioning is so freezing cold there that I have to bring a sweater with me. Oh well.

Yes, I hear ya. Being self-employed is not always the best situation for taking holidays unless you are Bill Gates or Richard Branson or . .. well, you know - RICH self-employed type people. Is Richard Branson still rich? Anyhow, I'm not, so no holidays for me. You'd think I'd have got used to this by now but no.

I actually feel quite relieved not to be on the God thread anymore. Am wondering if I'm actually going through a bit of hootoo burnout. Perhaps. Anyhow, helps me to remember that I do have other things to do.

Must go drink more cold water now . . .

az

Yes, Richard Branson is still rich. In fact, he's earned more while I've been typing this than I have in the last ten years.

In future if I miss a smiley, just assume it was an oversight.

Try writing a guide entry. Take a break from the regular threads except the personal conversations. Get out of the rut.

Noggin

So, been missing me terribly?

Wassup? How are you doing?

It got up to 42º today - almost melted. Better now.

az

well, never mind then . . .

I *was* just joking, btw.

az

Don't worry, I'm still here.

42 degrees? That IS hot. I think we managed 28 here a couple of days ago, and that's more than enough for me. It was more than enough for my fridge which blew a gasket and has had to undergo emergency surgery. Still, can't complain. Four hours from phone call to back in action.

As for me, the fact that my fridge is the main talking point of the day says it all really, doesn't it?

Noggin

hello incredibly polite English person,

When Noggin gets back - if he does - just tell him I miss him, okay?

thanks.

az