h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lincoln and Darwin, born the same day.
Both are remembered for what they did say.

I hear that Lincoln's post was all in a mess
Someone sent it to his Gettysburg address.



Eye Thangyew

And while he was evolving his 'Survival of the Fittest'
Darwin was at home, with sickness after sickness.

(That's true, actually)

Nature's a lady we reverently vaunt
--Each gard'ner has flowers he shows off--
But oft she can seem like a bully who'll taunt:
"Come near and I'll freeze all your toes off."

That poisonous snake hiding under a log;
That skunk that you'd just love to cuddle;
And try not to taste that wee colorful frog
--You'll soon melt right down to a puddle.

--Wesley Tofflemeister Flimby

I have dyed my hair golden brown.
I will now and go have a brush down.
Then I will go and act like a clown.
Magneto will appear and I will start to mutate.
He will give me his terms and then start to dictate.
I will then try to reason with him by debate.
But he will offer me in a share of his wonderous powers.
I will be filled with psionic energy up to the brim.
Life will not be the same as I will go out on a limb.
I will be able to make a second last an hour.
Then showers of flowers will start to appear.
This will then make me feel very empowered as I start to tower.
New abilities I will have which will bring me a new career.
My new mutant nickname name will become Copykat aka Kate.
Life will not be grim for me, as I will come very slim and trim.

I wrote a verse on a hearse
got strange looks from the cortege
they should have washed it first
ashes to ashes, dust to dust
this cars mucky and full of rust

This post has been removed.

Please yak,
write something less...
gore?

compensate please, even if it is sugary.

Dark-skinned, agile girl, the sun that makes the fruits,
that ripens the wheats, twists the seaweeds,
made your body cheerful, your eyes luminous
and your mouth has the smile of the water.

(Flateria, Breathing through Neruda´s verses)

Inner calm, inner peace and total silence.
Sitting in candlelight and being in love's presence.
Meditating on the path of life, and to learn the way of patience.
Being immersed with radiant light that fills me with total bliss.
I look at back at how my life has gone and then I start to reminisce.
Travelling through the sea of life on the oceanic abyss.
Through calm and stormy waters, I will be tested and proof worthy.
I am a true and loyal knight who has won battles by being very stealthy.

I think I'm a sweet potato, therefore I yam.
I wait for ten brave men to speak my name.
I hide within a bottle of Alprazolam,
Because the men in white coats for me came.

I applied for a bed in the asylum
We only take people we can cure said they
But I’m a nutter so I am, both of me are so sure
I’ll only take one bed up, as I cuddle myself at night
We do have a spare bedroom the orderly spoke
Oh good then, that means I’ve escaped

Light echoes through the foggy corridors;
Green-scented ringing, soft to the touch;
Yaks float on irridescent loud doors,
Crying mauvely that they've heard too much!

Why are am I waiting, oh why am I waiting, oh why, oh why.
As I sit at my desk, watcing my next door neighbours fly by.
Oh when will the bins be emptied, and will they ever try.
No news from the Thurrock Gazette and the council are staying stum.
Will it be too dangerous for the binmen on Monday morning and will they come.

Ham sent Pam lots of edible spam.
Pam then took it and had it for tea.
She invited to Graham along and he came with his cam.
He had made some jam which was made by his friend Sam.
Pam also made sure that they had plenty to eat.
There were cold meats and various cheeses including brie.
For a treat she baked wheaten scones and dundee cake.
Freshly brewed tea, a salad along with sandwiches made it complete.
She even had some steak and various types of milk shakes.
Ham came along with Sam and everyone partook in such a fine meal.
After such a feast, everyone felt drowsy and very few were still awake.

okay i will try my hand at this...

ahem...

okay...


the bizarre go too far
the mundane are insane
actually to refrain
from raising the bar
makes the rest of us scream

is that bad enuf?

Too good , you have to lower your standards

head full of mush
when i'm in a rush
i dont normally notice
but its a rainy old day
no-ones out to play
as green peas ooze out of my ears


, eh?

Still lurking
Not gone away
Just not so much time
To come here to play.

Amelia's on her hols.

You have just entered the Thurrrock outer limits.
Here is where all aliens have their summits.
So do not forget to have your Thurrock enttry permits ready.
Always try to drive well and keep your hands very steady.
The aliens will be sending messages and songs in their transmits.
Beaware there are drunk frogs call Kermit who are also hermits.
Time is going backwards when you enter Thurrock.
You could end up the 1950's and stuck their sitting on a duck.
Once you have been here an hour you will have reached the twilight zone.
You will hear the droning of moaning stones and cats sitting on a throne.
There will be cyclones in teapots and potty phones that are called Joan.
You will suddenly find yourself in Cologne wearing Cologne and all alone.
It will not last long, only a second until you start to groan and moan.