h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i was pink in the sink - today
i throttled my coffee - this afternoon
i swore at a passing party ballon - aforenoon
i boldly go early to bed - tonight
i will wake and think *what a lovely morning man!* - like a sausage rolling into a frying pan
As Usual

There are people all around the world,
Starving and forgotten,
And apples on the ground, dew-pearled,
Left lying to go rotten.

You must have seen them on TV
And wondered who the hell’s to blame.
It could be you - or even me -
The world keeps turning just the same.

The losers in the human race
Accuse us in the Hall of Shame;
A land of plenty in disgrace,
Unworthy of the world’s acclaim.

Perhaps it’s time to make a stand
Against the kind of life we lead.
What good’s the money in your hand
When there are hungry mouths to feed?

A land of plenty gone to waste,
A throw-away society,
That daily stuffs its ugly face
And cares not for sobriety.

A land of plenty gone to waste,
Whose wanton ways itself defame;
A land of plenty in disgrace,
A thief by any other name.

Mercury is in retrograde because it can't make the grade.
It has started to fade for three weeks before going to play in the arcade.
For three weeks it will feel very jaded whilst being chased by the brigade.
An army of astrologers and mystics who wear lipstick and trade in suede.
That is sprayed by Wade the maid who has braids made of lampshades made of jade.

Liked your poem WFAT. Really good and thoughtful.

Jabs

With Jabberwock I do agree,
Post 3202 is brilliant,
The top of our fine poe-tree,
From someone who's resilient.

Sherry makes you merry when you are on the ferry to Derry.
Passing out the cherries to berries to Kerry and Jerry.
Then making merry with Harry and Mary as they tarry.
But having too wine much will you make you wary,
when you wee fairies who are very hairy.

Waiting4atickle a very well written poem and with a great choice of words. Extremely thought provoking poem.

I will sail on a whale's tail,
with a pale of water and the grail.
Chased by a male with a copy of the Daily Mail.
Balancing on a rail and hay shaped like a bale.
The man was hitting the hay with a nail,
as he was being attacked by flying quails.
Then a gigantic snail appeared singing in gael,
about the scale of stale condensation trails.

Crawl on, crawl on, oh Snail of State,
With tears and sweat you must prevail,
Remembering all that made you great,
On which must hang a tail.

I went to the deli to buy some jelly,
to fill in my wellies and make them smelly.
Sit down to watch the telly eating pork belly.
When Shelly arrived all the way from Delhi.
Reciting his poems about the fate of the allele.
Two genes that are called Ellie and Kelly,
who wear jeans and rave about the scientist Torricelli.

girls make words from scented winds
and small wild flowers necter for bees
when she smiles the the grey dust covers
are blown away, a living room fills with sunrays
the scene from monochrome to golden bright
with curtains billowing a sweet breeze sight
a giggle and the sounds turned off mute
the dulcet tones of kittens cute
stretching in the rainbows beam
all is warm, sweet smelling, clean
the day now withered to mood dark dusk
still silence: an angry dog with no bark
veils of kaos twirl and wrap around
no difference between black sky or black ground
i bob inbetween happy memories and fond thoughts
till the morning lights my way

Thanks for your kind comments. I've been out and about in the suburbs lately and it saddens me to see so much fruit, mainly apples, going to waste. I sometimes think I should try and persuade the local scout groups and such to organise gathering parties: surely that would be more useful than donating a tin of soup to the Harvest Festival collection.


Most people have a black dog
But some dogs are bigger than others
This one of mine is a massive K9
That goes by the name of Carruthers.

Most people have a black dog
But some dogs are darker than others
Mine is a cracker and very much blacker
Than the sky over our Bill's mother's.

Anne is a big fan of Batman but she got a ban for hiding in his high-tech van.
Which she uses to spy on him, so that she can give him bran to give him a tan.
That she bought from the MacDonald clan who has outlets in Cannes and Bhutan.
But everytime he sees her, he runs away to hide to his gigantic drip pan covered over by a divan.
Anne then started to beg to both Batman and Robin for a beer keg, fitted with pegs.
So they both gave her the beer and a boxful of eggs to be used in to give her chicken legs.
But there was a snag in this arrangement as it involved a deer stag dressed in rags.
Who is also dressed in drag and brags about being a wag with a clutch bag.

i dont want to muddy the thread for a while after reading the last poem

When people say they only like poetry that rhymes
They must feel spoiled by The Thinker who not only rhymes
But rhymes within rhymes as she climbs to The Empyrian beyond celestial time
And rhymes not only once or twice but the greatest number of times,
Times beyond number, times beyond times, times that will boggle your minds
Times to trip travellers, who see so many wondrous signs, and fall on their behinds.



Jabs

Once upon a midnight dreary beery bleary cheery leery
I sat in my armchair Dearie
While the set was droning on and on long gone the show that once was on was gone
I heard a knocker or a fair pair at my fabled stable door for more than four is five Or so they told me in the days of yore
And oh it was a crow black jack from front to back for snot what other colour do you 'spect a crow to be
And standing on Pallas's bonce he told me once as many times before
While crowning Athene with a special splat just like a hat
That I should drive this drivel from my door and write it nevermore For four doors there were to the room
And The Woman could easily sweep me sleeping weeping with her broom
and him as well if the absurd bird croaked it not as a joke as he once had done, very nearly done for real before.






I'm BAD
Schermo
He grabs his balls
They probly itch like mad that's all
And falls
Once more
Upon the floor
And he's so shocked
His face goes white
Just like his children:
He's BAD!
Real powderpuffy BAD
Schermo schermozzle

Thank you Loftskywalker and Jabs for your very kind views and reviews.
I am now listening to my neigbour enfuse about her colleagues that amuse her with their shoes.
Shouting down the telephone all her latest gossip and news as well as the people she accuses.
She also enthuses about her neighbour's strange habits of playing the blues as they snooze.
And that they all wear tattoos of kangaroos fixing cabinets with their screws.
Adn when they wake up to find that they have all disappeared on a ship, taking a cruise.

Underneath the spreading chestnut tree,
where we sat and had our tea for free.
As we watched the sea for floating cod,
which we caught with our fishing rod.
Then we had our picnic with an ice pick,
to crush the ice that was got from Mick.
Then sandwiches were made with brie and ghee,
which filled us with unending glee.
And we started to pod our peas which was a breeze.
Cooked them with greated cheese and fresh fleas.
Which was a wheeze as we tried on our water skis,
chased by bees who like to sneeze in threes.
So we danced the three degrees and ended up in Belize.
Dressed in a floaty pink chemise made in Cadiz.

my head spins again
words strung as pearls but more fun
lovely weather, what?

I remember you when we sat in the church pew.
You were made of glue and your name was Sue.
I wore blue and you looked blue,
when I shouted ooh, oooh to Winnie the Pooh.
We thought we were in a zoo talking to a kangaroo.
You called me Hugh the Sioux and fed me rabbit stew.
As we talked to the imaginary ground crew,
who came from the planet Baku.
And they came on their starship on the Breeze-Through,
for their debut to construct a Giant shrinking ewe.