h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Replace "defending his risible statements" with "attempting, with no success whatsoever and no hint of understanding of the English language and how it works, to defend his risible atatements" and you're there!

What a muppet I am, to put a typo in that post of all posts! For "atements", please read "statements". And if anyone's beaten me to this correction while I'm typing this, you're a horrible pedant and I stick my tongue out at you.

Right, I've done that now Pat...

Simply inter change the words "ian johnston" for "ruth mcneil", "doug deep", "Mel Simpson" and put your name on ... Job's a good 'un!

And yes, I do know my correction itself contains a typo, but just leave it, OK?

Sent! Will post their reply if I get one ...

Ah well Bushy, if it's going out in my name you might as well add your posh bird girlfriend to the list. She's been posting under multiple personalities (shock, horror, what a sin), and quite frankly some of her posts don't even get as far as having a single entendre, let alone a double, so filthy are they.

Down with this sort of thing. Careful now.

No More Pre-Mod !

Thanks to the hosty bird Anna on MC-H, we all seem to have been set free. Have started a thread over there to celebrate.

Pat,

Oh no I've sent it in my name but thought everyone could use it as a template for any ian johnston message! They know who it is from by the poster ID when you click the button ... Ooh! Now there's an idea!!!

What posh bird? You mean her royal Chelsea-ness herself? Or Sarnia? They're both MY posh birds so hands off!!

I didn't realise Sarnia was posh.

Are you posh Sarnia?

PS: Bushy - you're a very greedy man. But you're bigger than me, so whatever you say goes [thought I'd use the word "bigger" so Chelsea's got something to get a handle on when she turns up].

Here's my answer:

**********************************************************************
Dear Contributor,

Thank you for alerting us to a message on BBCi's messageboards.

After careful consideration we concluded that the message in question
doesn't break our House Rules, and can therefore remain on the board.

We're sorry if you disagree with this decision, but the high volume
of traffic to the BBCi messageboards means that we are unable to
allocate time for discussing each moderation assessment in depth.
For a reminder of our House Rules, please go to
<http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?x=y&board=mc&state=houserules>.

Again, thank you for your interest in the BBCi messageboards - we hope
you'll post again soon!

Best wishes,

BBCi Messageboard Moderators.


Your original message:

From: Doctor Strangehats
Newsgroups: bbc.forums.amod.fivelive
Subject: Way too long and zero content ...
Date: 4 Dec 2002 17:08:38


Moderators,

Is it really necessary for ian johnston to write such utter rubbish
with
what appears to be a real zest for quantity rather than quality. Time
and
time again, in my opinion, he spends 3/4 of a page defending, without
success or understanding of plain English, his risible statements at a
grammatical and interpretative level and 1/4 of a page saying exactly
the
same thing as he claimed not to have said in first 3/4 of his message!

Is he in any way contributing to a lively and informed forum based on
the
"lighter side of news" in these instances? I think not!

Ploughing through venomous bilge spewed by ian johnston is like rolling
skating uphill, difficult!

I do not wish to see anyone censored but certainly feel mr johnston may
benefit from a quiet word in his ear by the Mod team.

Regards,

Dr Strangehats.
3/12/02.
**********************************************************************

D'Oh!!!

I've asked if there is an appeals procedure in cases such as this?

Pat, feel free to take any of my women anytime you feel like it! No worries mate, they won't mind!

Bloody good try, though.

Yeah, great effort Bushy. Next time.........

Shall we share the birds then? After all, they're only chattels when all's said and done.

"Don't 'Bogart' that bird my friend, pass her on to me..."

Quick, Pat - hide! Get under the table! Ladyscud missile incoming!!

Well, we all know women are genetically superior to men so control is a mere illusion they allow us!

Yeah, let's share them!

Damn, have to go now and Bushwhack'd (back from the grave!!!) was just getting started on louloubelle (Eva Braun?)! Have a great evening everyone...

Adieu!

Peter,

Pat? Here? Nah, haven't seen him all day mate.

...And where's that big lug Bushwhack'd??? Haven't seen him for ages!

What are you lot like!

I'm watching you lot.