h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

okokokokokok... my RL and hootooian friends aer amazing! I know that, but its not the same as having one person there speciafically for you... i know i'll grow through it and come out a better person... its just worse coz theres no reason. Anyway - i intend to be a free spirit for the next few months and play...

I don't have anyone so I guess it's ot easy for me to sympathise...

so... whats happening with you? (attempting to change the subject)

I'm doing what's callled a 'learn to learn' course one day a week at Lewes in a efffort to prepare myself for a return to study... I want to go on and do an NVQ in marketing to help me get a career somewhere in the Publishing industry or even just as a sales assistant in a bookshop...
I've decided on the 3 tattoos I'm going to get, what order I'm getting them in a where on my body I'm going to have them...

I'm in a unrequited love situation with the lovely Suz, but I'm getting used to it now...

I don't what else to say.

Ah! Well, goodluck with the course. Sounds like it'll be really good idea...

What are the tatoos and where you gona have them?

Fraid i dont know suz so i cant comment, but i'll guess you're friends and thats a stronger thingthan ever.

The first tattoo will be on my right forearm and will be taken from the A Clockwork Orange film poster... the second will be the Sproutlore logo and will be on one of my shoulders, likely my right... and the third will be on my left forearm and will taken from the cover of Witches of Chiswick - an inverted pentagram with a goats head in it.

Suz and I are friends, it pains me we are not closer friends but that will hopefully come with time after all it has been so long that we have been apart and not talking it will take time to get back to where we were before we fell out...

How come you and Suz fell out before? What happened? Or do you not want to say?

I keep imagining people about to attack me and its horrible. I dont feel safe anymore...

Lots of little trivial things that are no-longer important contributed to it... I don't really feel saying anything else about it.

That paranoia, fear and anxiety is horrible and deeply unsettling... I wish I had some idea how to make it go away i can di is tell you to be strong and drive the thoughts from you mind.



I

sorry hun. I lost the thread. Are you ok?

I wasn't the other night... I'm OK now... less suicidal... nervous about going to Ireland... Worried about how Stephanie will react to my e mail... Hopeful that Suz will go out with me when she is over Justin.

What did you say to Steph? Im sure you're doing the right thing. And hang in there for suz, coz there'd be nothing worse than being the rebound boy/girl... glad ur a bit better anyway...

xxx

" want us to stay very close friends. I've been doing alot of thinking about
why your mother is so against me having any relationship with you. While
I doubt your mother's reasons are rational, I do know that there are good
rational reason's for a mother to be concerned. Being with me could be damaging
and harmful to you in so many ways... Also I don't know how but I was under
the impression you were 17 or 18 and that coming to the UK to study at uni
was not 2 years away at the least... the age differance alone wouldn't be
reason enough to re-evaluate having a relationship but combined with my
other concerns... You see I care about you deeply and you are an interesting,
intelligent and wonderful person...

I love you, my friend...
*****."

Stephanie isn't well... I'm concerned about her... I had a great time in Ireland....

I seem to have missed a fair wack while ive been away, so sorry if this is... not right.

it sounds like you did the right thing re Steph, what did she reply? Whats happened with Suz?

I don't remember what she replied... something about being sorry for not telling me more about herself... She's haviong physical health problems as well as her self harm... so I'm copncerned baout her...

Suz OD'd after I upset her and that made me suicidal... Suz is OK now and we are very happy together I will be visiting her soon and we'll be getting engaged...

Well, im sure u'll be good friend too her so... she'll be ok.

You and Suz are getting engaged!? Congrats...

Yes we are

wow! when?or you are already in which case when did it happen?

I'm going to propose properly outside Glouster Cathedral on the 28th, just 3 weeks away...

Woo for you! So is it sort of unofficial at the mo?

Yes, we are sort of engaged to be engaged...

How are you?