h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just this lady come to say hello. Im not replying to anything else today coz im too down. I cant seem to get the courage to get that test which is ridiculous, so i'll have to get the courage soon. Im so scared. Which is stupid coz ive had worse stuff right? *worry* ... think i shud apologise to you too, theres some very obscure stuff going on in my space at the moment... ie with Yasmin (Suggs) which i figure is confusing me and everyone else too. I have to go get that test dont i? ok... im going. I'll see if i cna get closer.... *worries*.... .... thanks for being such a gud friend. x

Did you make it hun? I understand why you are scared... but you're right you've been through so much... you can survive this, you are strong

Where do things stand with you and Yasmin...

Love and Hugs...

Well.. the appoiontment is booked. So hopefully it'll all be over soon. *worries*... thanks for the encouragemtn.

Me and Yaz.... im not really sure. We get on really well, and shes lovely and pretty (from the pics shes sent me), but she can be a bit full on at times. I wish i knew where things stood. I really do. Coz Dan IS my priority.

I'm glad you get on well, she's not got my kind of weird... as you know I find weirdness interesting...
I mean what a say hun, you're like me, a survivor Once you know, you'll know... No point worrying till then...

lol... well, i agree weird is interesting. And more me too. Im not sure what i think about her right now, but *whisper*... i get abit annoyed sometimes coz she kept asking me at the weekend if she could call me and when ever i didnt answer she got abit cross. I dont mind, coz shes lovely, but i wasnt up to it this weekend and it made me feel guilty...

i shud get the appointment in the next day or so, and then i'll see if im allowed that abortion. Hell, we know something else now though... IM NOT INFERTILE! WOOO! Infact, looking at the situation, it still looks like im uberfertile girl... (looking at bright side) xxx

Is an abortion what you want?
I see you avoided using the word obsessive to describe Yaz... Tis rarely a good thing...
I glad you have kept your sense humour...

yeah. i think i don want an abortion. I really want kids, yes. But im only 17. I want to go to uni and live a little and i dont want to be tied to dan forever. Its too soon since last time for me to be considering it. If i have this kid, all i'll be ablee to think of is THURSDAY (my little girl from before) and it'd hurt so much. And we just proved i can have kids still, so its not my last hope. I think a kid right now would drive me to harming again and i dont want that. Strangely, although it seems like the end of the world, atleast some good has come of it
You think shes obsessive? ... so you understand where im from and its not just me being hormonal?
And of course, without my stunning sense of humor id be depressing everyone and i dont want that. I dont care for myself anymore, so im cheery for my friends... like you. x

OK I understand...
Not just you being hormonal no
Hey what's this being cheery for friends stuff? I though we agreed to be 'real' with each other...
Though I'm flattered you call me friend

Thank you. It means me alot that you understand my reasons. If you dont think they're founded then say. but also dan doesnt want it and im not being a single mum to a kid neither of us wants. nor am i giving it up for adoption coz then id want to find it.

not just me! *relief*... but im not being horrible. just stressed and depressed!

I am being real. I dont mean that its all a front. its not, but i dont feel i have the right to be down and depressed for my friends sake. So im trying to be cheery. Its what people say alot to me, that im a strangely balanced and ubercaring person after the stuff ive had. But its only coz i dont care for me, and more for others.

Of course your a friend. You've helped me alot... x

No, I think you have insight into your triggers... so it's not unreasonable...

The best way to show respect and caring for your friends is to learn to care about yourself hun...

what does having insight in your triggers mean? I shall take it as a compliment. puurrrr!

Thank you, i respect you... and alot of thery people, but i have no reason to respect me. As far as i see it, i dont do much right, and so i dont have a right to feel good about me... *whimpers*...

have an and some (despite not being feline...)

Having insight into your triggers means you know and understand what you need avoid to stop you from dealing with strain and stress in a negative way...

One important reason anybody should respect themselves is to show respect for the people that care about them...
No-one have a right to feel good about themselves, I don't care if EU human rights laws say different either...
You do have a right to feel good about yourself hun, you have come through alot... you may not like the person you have become because of what you have survived very much... but surviving it was an achievement...
Like I say, you have insight into who you are, what you are capable of... you can choose to become a person that you believe does deserve something good... as I believe you do...


Love and Kisses...

Oh.. thats what it means. Thankyou.

I feel good about me when i do something for someone else, but not because of me. I dont mind the person ive become, but ive sort of gotten immune to my own pain if that makes sense.

Your twice as strong as me sweetie and i have so much respect for you. Thank you. x

* curls herself around his neck in gratitude *

*snuggles with her*

*uses her rough feline tongue to lick his fingers and hands, and then curls up on his lap to sleep/ ... why do i find it easier to say what i feel as a cat?

Detachment...?
*Stroke her head*

perhaps... like im always referring to me in the third person... *odd*
*Responds to stroke, by pushing her head against the hand in a very kitten like way* x

*Runs a hand down her back and stroke under her chin with the other*
~~