h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was bored, so I decided to get to know somebody. I randomly clicked on the who's online list, and you were chosen.

Hi! I'm Leo. Please to meet you. I don't think I've ever seen you around before. Where do you hang out on h2g2?

Hi Leo, I am Hapi and I am pleased to meet you!. What can I say, IRL I hang out at home in the Netherlands after living three years in Moscow, Russia. Here in the Netherlands are also my two kids (19 and 21 .. we use flexible age related names in some parts of hootoo) both in university.
In hootoo I mainly amuse myself in the great outdoor bar A800209(originally Danish, now with Dinosaur barstaff) and in Hati's summerhouse A797420
Hati and I met a few times IRL and in hootoo. Lurk around and you may see what happened. We'll all have a Christmas party this August in Estonia. (it's too y cold in December in Estonia so we'll do it in December). of course you're invited

I'd be pleased to freeze my toes off in Estonia in December. Add it to my list of must-see places. Netherlands to Russia and back - what on earth possessed you to go there?

Round h2g2 I'm usually in the EG Writing Workshop and the journal entries of friends, so I can see where there might not be much overlap. I've never heard of the great outdoor bar (natural flora and fauna and everything?) and what does Hati's summerhouse do in the winter?

"freeze my toes off in Estonia in December".. Hati only started to complain when the temperatures didn't get any higher than -20 daytime, and she complained for about four or five months.
What on earth possessed me to go ... well, there's a few answers to that, the simplest is "w*rk (four letter word, moderators lurk) and related payments". Another answer has rapidly become invalid since I stopped seeing her after a few weeks in Moscow.
Moscow was .. interesting.
not much overlap, true.. the G.O.B. has a relatively small group of regulars discussing amongst other things everything. And in wintertime we just heat the sauna, get a towel and wait there for the summer.

so Hati isn't an Estonian native?

Interesting? That's the best you can do? An acquaintence who went to Russia came back burbling about the public toilets.

Sound like the GOB is another salon... It's funny how every group of friends seems to have some place they go to chill and chat. One day I'll sniff out and subscribe to them all, and then I'll know everybody.

Hati is Estonian, yes. But last few years I found that not all native (Estonians, Russians, ...) like the climate they grew up in. My remark "for 's sake you're supposed to like this weather, you're (Estonian, Russian, ...) didn't really .. meet any understanding.

public toilets now these are the things you don't have to go and search for. Smell them on miles distance, only problem if you're right in between two groups (say each one a mile distance).. cannot smell where to go then.
Other amazing things: metro, metro stations, police (so honest when taking cash bribes), shops (how many shops do you know where you can buy gold plated mobile phones, diamond patterns on the buttons). I lived near two of these shops (yes, fancy neighbourhood).

and GOB.. yes, another place to chill.. there's lots of them around

Sounds exotic. A girlfriend came back indignant saying that toothpaste is advertised by nude women... but I guess that's not something you'd notice terribly. Now I know where to get a mobile that'll knock people's pants off. For when I get around to buying one at all. How much would thatrun?
Metro stations? Do tell.

certainly not nude.. well.. Russians are real prudish .. and the truckloads of "working girls" in the bars in M center are .. normal for any large city. advertisements with girls in bikini (small bikini) are regular. for cars, watches, toothpaste, fur coats or after shave. not nude, certainly not dressed

the price of the mobile .. I'd say "a lot!".
Main Russian filosophy:
1) if you have money you must spend it.. just for the feeling
2) if you spent money people should clearly notice that you spent it
(the richer russian will gladly buy you a drink for 100 USD per glass if you can see him paying..)
the reason these mobiles are sold is that people can buy them and show off. price is then not a problem, looks are.
this is also the reason why maseratis, hummers, ferraris, ... are sold in Moscow.

Metro stations can be .. amazing works of art.. marble, paintings,
http://www.beeflowers.com/Metro/-Startfiles-/index.htm shows some of the nices ones.
( http://www.metro.ru/ as well, but not as nice and in Russian only)

Gawd, those are metro stations? Now I know they've been campaigning to at least cover the wires in New York City Subway stations.

Too prudish for nude? We don't have much nude adverts here either. Only for swiss watches, sometimes.

I've heard that Russians always accept an invitation, even if they don't follow up on it. (eg: you say 'come on over for supper' and they say 'yeah, sure' and then at supper time they're at home scoffing hot dogs.) Is that true? (or do Russians just generally regret accepting invitations from some of the folks in our neighborhood?)

well.. metros .. the carriages are sometimes rather desperate. wintertime the outside temperature is minus 20 or so, the temperature in the metro (rush hour) is almost plus 37. now most Russians do have a shower or a bath, however, at rush hour in the metro you notice that some use it every other month or so...
... accept an invitation ... mmm ... bound by conventions and rituals. being invited by a genuine Russian, or inviting a genuine Russian is .. complex.. very complex. but there's a huge regional difference! Moscow residents are wildly different from Caucasians (no, the S-Russian variety) and they again are wildly different from Siberians..

Like in what way?

(am I being annoying? I just like knowing everything.)

no, certainly not annoying..
The idea is that the whole of Russia (between the Belorus and the American border) is so enormous .. it spans twelve time zones. People living in that area cannot all be the same character, type, kind.
A very harsh generalisation would be that Moscovites are .. rather .. selfish, (hey, sorry all you folks.. not *you* of course.. the others!), focussed on money... to the extreme that is. Southern Russians are said to be more open, chat easily with complete strangers, then there are of course the former soviet republics (Baltics) .. completely different, nothing to do with Russians, Southern states (Azerbaijan, Armenia, Chechnya, ..) completely different, nothing to do with Russians.
well, living in Moscow you don't need to know all that.. the important thing there is to look like male white caucasian, so as not to be stopped by the police for a document check that costs 500 roubles (<20 USD) because there's something wrong with your documents. by definition

...but you can pay off the guy stopping you, can't you?

So how do Muscavites treat invitations? And how long did it take you to learn the etiquette?

the average policeman earns about 200 to 300 USD per month. With his wife working as well, he can almost live while his mother takes care of the kid. However to pay for his girlfriend's present he needs to make some money on the side ("left side money").
So he stops cars (expensive ones, but not too expensive; stopping these will cost life or job) for violations of .. something.. and stops foreigners to check documents. Pay 500 rubbles and he's happy, politely salutes and wishes you a nice day.

learn the etiquette.. I think I didn't .. .. not in M that is .. I think you have to speak and understand Russian, including fine nuances.. no way I can do that ..

He makes more stopping cars for bribes than in an entire month's salary?! Wow.

Can you muddle along there without much Russian? I mean, is it like Jerusalem, where they all speak English, like France, where they all pretend they cant as soon as they hear you're american, or like Mexico, where they really wont understand you?

well.. the average policeman has to pay his superviser to get assigned to a "good" crossroads in the centre.. so he'll have to make that amount anyway. and his wife will need new winterclothes, his girlfriend a watch, his mother a tv, and his car maintenance.

and many younger (age <<30) do speak some English. the older generation speaks Russian.
Policemen speak Russian, as do (e.g. train staff, ...)

and France.. they pretend they don't understand you as soon as they hear you're not French. nothing to do with American