h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The mind. Its a wondrous thing. Many have decided it from the starting with Emanuel Desecrate who uttered those now infamous words "I think therefore I am" (Emanuel Desecrate, ?) and also many leading theologians who may sometimes have described the mind as being a soft squiggly thing to practice your human sacrifice on or a repository of all knowledge and wisdom of man. However this is the nuff of matter, the brain or mind as many may call it is of course extremely complicated, contains many yet to be explained things, but most of all it is the single most important organ in your body.

Weather or not the mind is the single most important organ in the body has in fact been the subject to wild and sometimes violent controversy. The body, says medical science cannot live without the mind. Unfortunately for some considerable time many did not see eye to eye with this option, in fact even medical science thought the brian was a meer organ for cooling the blood. It made sense that in fact the hart was the most important organ. It was in the middle of the body (or close enough for theologians) and it had all the important aspects. Everyone who ever been in a battle knew it was the best place to hit if you wanted to kill a man slowly, with as much pain and suffering as possible. Sure this sounds cold, but say your in a battle and Jims just died and your as angry as hell and the commander has just order you to a possible suicidal charge? You want Jim to know his death will be revenged. We shall get into psychology later though. Hitting people in the head was a poultry affair they for the most part simply fall down dead all of the sudden with out much effort at all. Many probably said that one simply overheated or something when you opened up the casing of the skull. Only sometimes did someone react and then they did so violently you usually just shoot them again or if your not as quick a thinker, run away.

Now being as cold and cinical as I can will get me nowhere in my argument for I am already in my third paragraph and your looking at your watch and wondering what is on TV. The mind is yours. Its you. It is the holder of everything you know and anything you have ever done. Some of it may have been forgotten (or erased) to replace the many other moments you have enjoyed or horrid in your significant or insignificant. But what the hell do you do with such a majority useful organ? Well for one you can put down this book, and go and write one on the flight of birds, win a major award and retire safely in a cadaloac on top of the local shag hill. Or you could become a majority popular military genius, you could be a major part in a Communist revolution or count all the 30 digit prime numbers in base 7. Sounds unlikely huh? Well all of these things have and can be done by an ordinary peace of grey goo.

Now think that computers may supersede you soon? Your mind feeling useless against the unimaginamatable might of the IT revolution? Well I have something that will make you happy. In 50 years time you will still have more computing power than the most advanced computational machine man can make. Why? Well its all down to a nice little thing called the thirst law of thermodynamics. Thats right science says so. You cant be superseded in next 50 years because of this law. Because of it you cannot fit as much information on to a little chip of silicone than any chemist can fit onto a a single chip. Your brain still contains today more information than all the computes combined the world over 70 million times. Even a new born baby has more computational power than the top 70 thousand computers put together. Be thankful mankind you have a long computational life ahead of you as long as you don't blow yourselves up.

Now the problem that most theologians have with the great statement that most of the modern world is built on is one of the problem of them not being in charge, Yes thats right they are no longer in charge thanks to I think therefore I am. Of course they won't admit that they have this Napoleon complex but they do. They want to take over the world at any costs and all that stands in there way is a few million Protestants and devout muslims. Seriously though the line for many people has been that the placing of man instead of god in the centre of the universe has caused such destruction that they must at any cost see it fit to abuse the age that many have come to call the enlightenment. Of course one thing I really would like you all to know is that these are the same people who brought you the dark ages, told you to whack your head on a cross to get rid of the black plague and frequently tell you that pie is equal to 3 as 3.1415... is TOO CONFUSING for them. Anyone who can't understand basic math that was proved before Christ was even born (yes it was discovered and proved by mathematicians in what most people call modern day Baghdad in 327BCE (so about 271 years before you claim your lord and savior was born if your a Christian that is)) deserves to be confused and have a life where there circles aren't quite as round as they could be. So we shall decide that the argument for the proof of I think therefore I am as to be won until such time that you can figure out a way of proving conclusively by logic that I don't think and I am not me.

You of course are reading this rant and wondering if You are who you say you are? Well of course you are, the very reason for you asking this question to yourself is of course the fact that you just read it. If you had-not read it and it just happened to enter your mind by random chance then who cares? It is in your mind now right? Well if you answer yes then you know you exist, this is because you know your thinking and this is in turn because you are thinking and on and on into infinity. There is no way you can say that it is not to your knowledge that you are not thinking, if it is not then who the smeg is? Is it someone else's thoughts? Well it might be, but that person is very probably you. Hence the title of this rant. Your mind population you. Well what is of course the purpose of this rant you may ask? Why should you know all of this stuff since most of it you have heard before? Well there is a very simple answer for this question....

Its a chapter.

Thats right this is the first chapter in a series of rants about well, pretty much everything. This month was phenomenology as you can see. If you are not interlaced in your thoughts by next moth I will right the next chapter which is of course on TWO subjects. It will be not only on the subject "The elections in half the world" but also on "free will, how much freedom do you really have?".

Enjoy the grey goo.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste

I think the liver is pretty important.

I don't think that was the reception I was expecting, but i think the stomic is pretty neat

I'm also highly interested in the eyes. When I was four, my best friend spooned her eye out. That was the day before we left, too.

She WHAT?

Well, um, good thing you get two of them?

She spooned it out. Pop. Her sister dared her to do it...and, well, she...kinda....did.

They put it back in her head, but she can't move it. When she spooned it out, it damaged all of those tiny little muscles.

Thats about the second most stupid thing I have ever heard anyone doing.

Yup. My best friend. Wow.

UUUUURGH!

What?

That must be quite painful.

I would think so.

I don't know about you, but I'm certainly not about to try it and see.

I sincerely HOPE no one would try it. *shudder* I'm not in the slightest tempted.

Neither am I... That would be horrid.

You are a master of understatement.

I don't think I will mention what the first was.