h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm reminded of the time I got into an argument with a sales caller who insisted her call was not a sales call. She lost her temper at me! "This is unbelievable," I exclaimed, and hung up. But she had succeeded in putting me completely off my stride with what I had been doing.

I was under the impression that if you told the solicitor "no" twice they were supposed to end the call. I tried it. I made the mistake of saying "No, No." Guess that didn't count.

[Fun things to do with telemarketers]

If using a conventional phone with a handset, start gently tapping the handset on the table or wall until you hear the disconnect tone.
(N.B. If the keypad, etc are in the handset, try something else...)

If you use a mobile, go to the section of the house where your reception is the worst.

Place an order for pizza, and warn them not to screw it up like last time.

Say 'hello...hello...hello' at regular intervals, and finally hang up.

One advantage to living at my dad's is that I can say "Mr Smeltzer? Hang on, I'll just get him." Then he hangs up on them.

I did once have quite a long discussion with a telemarketer - my point was that in order to send me a free trial offer they didn't really need my credit card details. She seemed to have trouble grasping this and kept telling me that I would have quite a long time to make up my mind and they wouldn't charge me if I sent whatever it was back.

As for Hyp's caller, it's amazing he felt he had some right to pitch his gear to you, especially if he was actually breaching the law himself.

I once had a prank caller who I tried blowing the whistle at. Didn't work. He kept calling back. I finally had to put a block on his number with the phone company!

For US residents, register all of your phone numbers with:

http://www.donotcall.gov/

It really works. I know. And when you do get the odd call, you can report them to the authorities on this website. That gives me a rather profound sense of satisfaction.

I keep putting my number in there, then I screw up and sign up for a sweepstakes or something. So then I have to go put my number in there again.

When I registered as a small business, I only had my home phone, so suddenly we were deluged with calls again. Most of which started with "Hi, how are you?" Grrr! So I resubmitted my phone number, and it seems to have stopped. Except for Discover Card, darn their eyes.

See, that's where they get you. When you enter a sweepstakes, the fine print says you are a bona fide customer of theirs, which gives them permission to contact you. That, along with charities and politicians, are the only exemptions.

I also hate calls from someone saying they are taking a survey when what they are doing is screening for people who might be interested in their product.

Well, MS. Hillwilliam, I don't talk to them either. When they ask if I would mind answering a few questions, I say "Yes" and hang up.

I'm confused. Don't you have to live in WA to qualify for the moniker, Hypatia?

I had sixteen sales calls today and have spoken in gobbledegook to each one of them. A most satisfying experience.

*smug*

Swahili Wilma

Not WA, WV

Actually Wilma, the term Hillbilly also refers to people living in the Ozark Mountains. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillbilly

A friend suggested Hillwilliam and I am using it for fun for a few days.

Aah, ok. Showing my regional bias, then, sorry Mrs Hillwilliamm ma'am.

*doff cap*

W

Just my opiniion, but I think

Hypatia Hill-William

is suitably classy.

There you go. I'll Hyphenate myself.

Hyphenated Hyp!

Ooo-err, a double barrelled name!

Works better than my double m typo up there

W

Drat, wish I were hyphenated.............

Aaah, but you have a title and that is the harspirayshun of all double barrelled henglis folk hit happpears, milady, marm!

*curtsies deeply to the double barrelled ma'am and the titled marm*

Wilma, I'm sure you must be a princess among Neanderthals.