h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I don't think I'll have any trouble spotting a girl with a black kilt/pink tutu and fairy wings ... Besides, I don't care about looks, remember...

Sorry... Yup it's still long... And sort of floppy-ish, yes... don't worry... But I don't really suit all too long hair...

Øyvind

Hey!

Oh well same problems in Norway as over here.. i'd never have believed it!
oh gawd i think i saw something about that on the telly with some stupid teen getting their stomach pumped... hmmmm wouldn't fancy that!

oh gawd we got practically no sex education at school. It was really awful. We learned more in Biology!lol

Norwegian packed lunches are horrible? Horrible to everyone or just you?! Having said that dry bread and brown cheese sounds a bit icky.

I had no idea Norway had 3 languages. I also didn't know English was influenced by French... suits me!

Oh i was up at the library today to research a Spanish topic. I think im going to do the project on Flamenco... not sure though. I've got a French topic to think up too!

Oh i got my diabetes test today. I don't have it but i found out that im actually 5"3" and a half tall! yaay! Lol... don't know why that excites me so much! I was also lighter than i thought... 7 stone 8 pounds... it's made me kinda happy... in a really shallow way!lol

That'sa shame about your cousin. That's one of the few reasons im glad i don't have siblings. Too many comparisons. Even if my parents didn't compare us i certainly would because i can be so terribly competitive sometimes.

oh it was the prizegiving tonight but as im sitting here it obviously means im not at the school getting the prizes... i wasn't even notified of it by the school staff and my mum has thrown out half my school uniform!... oh plus i couldn't really be bothered... how bad is that?!

i thought it was men they castrated? did that not make their voices high? why would they castrate young boys?! would that not be terribly illegal?!

R.S.V.P
Claire
xxxxxx

oh i suppose i might be hard to miss!lol

Well as long as it's long.lol. i'd luv if every guy had long hair. that's be great! i dunno why i like it... it's fun to put in bunches that's why!

Claire
xxxxxx

Phew...

Yuck, no, I hope I'll never have to experience that. Just as an apropos, I went to a classical concert yesterday (it was great, btw), and I met a friend of my drum teacher there... He told me that my teacher was good at three things... Drinking, drumming, and doing both at the same time. Apparently there's some sort of contest within the millitary's staff-music, to see who can drink the most and play the best at the same time... My teacher seems to have won it when he and a friend went to play a (classical) concert drunk, and they played it absolutely correctly, only they fooled around with the piece, by playing one measure each, in turn!!! Shees, some dark secrets... And he's better than me, even when he's drunk and I'm not...

Well, we had an entire chapter devoted to sexuality in our science books two years ago, and the same in religion... And that was only the last time... we have many rounds of touching the subject... I think it's very important for people to be aware... If only to avoid teen pregnancies...

Well, I think they are horrible at a whole... but some people seem to enjoy them. Alas, Norwegian packed lunches consist almost entirely of bread, and bread dries quite quickly once out in the open... The brown cheese is good, though...

Well, we do, we have the sami... the laps up north speak that (mind you, that's not really one language, but for simplicity, we'll say it is), and then we have "bokmål", or "riksmål", roughly translated, that's book-speech and kingdom-speech. And then there's "Nynorsk", or "landsmål", which translates as new-norwegian and country-speech... really strange names, I know. Anyway, bokmål is the language I speak... It descends from the time when norway was occupied by Denmark (Danish is technically almost the same language... but not quite, and we pronounce things quite differently). But then a new language was constructed by a guy named Ivar Aasen, to battle the Danish written language that the aristochracy used, and to allow the country to go back to it's roots... and some other and more complicated historical reasons... Anyway, that was "Nynorsk". Today, more than 150 years later, we still have to learn the bloody language, even though it's technically almost the same... It's like if you were to learn english at school, and then be forced to learn to write in a midland accent or something... Believe me, it's impossible to learn, because it's so similar to bokmål, but not quite. I can uncerstand everything that's said or written in nynorsk, but I still have to learn the bloody useless language, for some complicated reason. Something to do with historical roots. Oh my, I'm ranting again...

You haven't noticed how close English and French is? Take words such as habitant, population, voyage, envy (used a wee bit differently in french, but still)... It's been my major advantage in learning french, if I dunno the word in french, It's usually all about picking the correct english word, and saying it with a french pronounciation...

Well, good luck...BTW, How's the MSN problem coming along... have you gotten it sorted out?

Yay, now I von't have to bring a magnifying glass to see you . Not that it matters, though... Good to hear you haven't got diabetes.

Hmmm yes, comparison is HORRIBLE... I've been really mad with my parents because of that sometimes... Those things can really hurt you... But still, I enjoy having siblings...

Hmmm... well, you did get the prizes, didn't you? Anyway, I have no idea how bad that is, because I have no idea how important this is in scottish culture... But, if that's why you had time to respond, then I'm just happy about that...

No, it was younng boys, castration of men would not pay of... The reason was, like I said, so that their voices wouldn't crack up when they hit their teens... And, yes, today it would, but you forget when this happened... Like far back in history... And we don't really have to go too far back to find a time where that sort of cruelty was totally accepted... Morale is highly relative to where and when you live... But I still think that there are some universal laws of morality...

Øyvind

hallo

He drums and drinks at the same time?!lol, i take it someone holds the drink for him cuz does he not need to use both his arms to play? "Claire gets confused".

Dry bread... i dunno if i'd eat dry bread... is it like little dry bread rolls or flat pan bread? Again im confused!:0

Gosh! That's pretty ridiculous you were made to learn another Norwegian language. i mean was there any point? Are Norwegians quite patriotic? I mean we aren't made to learn Gaelic over here or anything... thank goodness because Gaelic is such an ugly-sounding language in my opinion.

Yeah i see what you mean about French and English being similar however in the way that the English language is made up is pretty weird in some ways. I mean i find lots of similarities between French and Spanish and only then do i realise how odd English is and how difficult it must be to learn.

I alway meant to ask...do your parents and siblings all speak English(except of course your very young siblings)?


Yeah the prizes will get posted out to me. My friend phoned me up because he wanted to know if i was going to be there and he told me he had been talked into videoing it! That put me right off!lol... nah the only reason he agreed to doing it is because the love of his young life got the Dux Award. I don't know if you have a similar award for that in Norway but over here if you get the Dux you basically have to be the absolute best... at everything! You also have to be a bit of a suck-up to be honest.

Anyway... yeah but about the castration this... i mean what were young boys supposed to do for the rest of thier life? did they agree to this "operation"? Did they devote their life to singing after that? It's not as id they could have relationships... and they obviously couldn't have kids!

oh my one of my fave songs just came on tv! "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's such a soppy romantic ballad if you don't know it... not usually my thing but i like it anyway!

Cheerio fir the noo!
Claire
xxxxxx

Hiya.

Well, not strictly at the same time, but he's drun when he's playing, that's the point... Besides, there's a handy place to put a drin/coffee cup on the side of the marimba.

Well, it's flat bread, lie in sandwiches... only it dries up by spending half a day in some grubby rugsack.
Yup, it's all part of cultural history... I'm not particularly patriotic, but I'm not certain about the rest of the nation... I'm quite loose, compared to many others. I suppose we might be, but I have nothing to compare it with... Except possibly Americans... and Americans are MUCH worse... There's absolutely no point at all to learning "nynorsk", only that it's part of history, and it has an enormous symbolic value because of the patriotism that existed at the time of it's creation.

Yup, it's said to be a tricy language to learn, it's quite true... English is such a huge mixture of words, from all different sorts of languages... That's why it's tricky to learn.

Hmmm... well... we all KNOW how to spea English... except the young ones, of course... But we're only three in my family who actually speak it on a day-to-day basis. That's me, my mother, and my brother, Andy. I dunno why we do it, really, I uppose it's a matter of preference... And we do learn loads from it.

Well, I see how that would put you off it... It's horrible to be videotaped... sometimes...

Well, they didn't really have much choice, did they? They were usually poor, and getting to work for the pope was quite an opportunity.

Hmm... I've heard of the goo goo dolls, My sister listens to them... But I've never listened to them... any good?

Øyvind

Heylo!

Hmmmm rather interesting... however i've made up my mind... i wouldnt like Norwegian packed-lunches!

Hmmmm i'd rather like to be patriotic... alas im not! There's nothing to be patriotic about coming from Scotland.

I think it's really great(as you know) that you can all speak English.

Oh on the subject of learning a language todayi taught a French boy in my French class how to spell "fags" in English. yaay!lol


Oh gosh yeah. I hate cameras, video camera... i hate them all really. yuk!

well here comes a tangent... i had quite a good day at college today, not for any particular reason, it was just a nice day. However as i was walking home this stupid(a bleached-blonde, chubby, approximately 14-years old, rather ugly girl if i made add) shouted "What the f**k is she wearing?!" at her friend(she was obviously talking about me. Im not being paranoid but i was the only other person except from her friend who was in the street at the time. Oh and btw i was wearing a pink and black psychedelic 60's ra-ra skirt which must have been what she didn't "approve" of). Anyway that just got me thinking. When i got home i told my mum almost straighaway because i was quite appalled by the girl and kind of shocked. However i know what im like, i know if i'd had a bad day at college for even the most trivial of reasons i would have got past the front door of my house and burst into tears. It just got me thinking about the stupid, dumb, tactless remarks some people make. It also reminded me how different people can be. I mean a girl in my French class is actually gonna try and get the same skirt for herself now she's seen me with it ...lol!

Sorry Oyvind... i should really get a a diary or journal for these outbursts of mine!

anyhoo... thats that.

The Pope? I can't help but giggle when I hear the word Pope because i always think of his PopeMobile!lol

toodle-hoo for noo!
Claire
xxxxxx

i just realised i forgot to say that i still haven't got msn to work. it's doing my head in. im going to have to drag someone to the college library and get them to take me throught he process again.

anyway... oh yeah and i meant to say im not really a Goo Goo Dolls fan. i couldnt name any other song by them than "Iris". It's not the kind of song i'd usually like i have to say. Kinda soppy and romantic. Tis a sweet song though.

Claire
xxxxxx

Lo...

How do you know? You haven't tried... But I wouldn't blame you if you did... Norwegian packed lunches are boring...

Well, you do have some things (Øyvind wrings his mind trying to think of something), the highlands, the history(600 years of fighting the English, nice going), the kilt, not to mention the sexy accent.

Well, we have to... we're surrounded by English, but yeah, I really like that language...

Hahahahaaaaaaaaa...

Same here... I have this uncle, and he's totally obsessed with documenting all the family gatherings... It's terrible... I mean, hew videotapes everything, so you never see his face, and he comments on all the people there, to have it recorded for the future... And I have this problem with cameras... I'm not fotogenic at all, whenever I'm put in front of a camera, I dunno how I'm supposed to act...

Well, if it's any comfort, that girl probably goes under the "fjortis-berte" label in Norway. We don't respect people like that over here... Remember, I've been followed and even photographed by two "fjortiser". If it were me, I whould have turned around on the spot when I heard the remark, and started up a discussion, to rpove how stupid it is to say something like that... Or if I didn't have time for that, I'd flip her the finger... But it's true... we all make mistakes, and remarking things like that are just one of the things that we don't think about. I've made worse mistakes...

Well, you do have an online journal, but I don't mind... Those outburts tell me loads of things about you... It shows your character, and that's good. Oh, btw, having outburts like this are only natural and positive... It shows that you have a sense of right and wrong, that you have principles, honor and feelings. Keep them coming...

You too? I've never met anyone who's even known about that car... And I think it's the singlemost funny thing I've ever heard about the catholic church... At least that I can remember, I've heard quite a few things about the catholic church at a whole...

Øyvind

Evening again

Well i don't know but i don't really like cheese unless its toasted.

Ooooh yaay fughting the English! William Wallace! The kilt is good too plus the accent could be worse... jeez Scotland ain't so bad afterall!lol

Oh gosh i'd hate that! Luckily for me my mum doesn't like cameras or anything of the sort(she isn't particularly photogenic because she always seems to have her eyes shut in photographs not because she's unattractive!) I don't like being photographed either. I ain't too photogenic myself!. I never know how to smile. It seems fake.I have a natural pout and they make me smile?!

I thought she might be part of the "berter" actually! Threatened by any sign of a little individuality. Och well... i mean i probably would have thrown a swear word at her but to be honest i was feeling happy-ish in my own head and her stupid remark almost went straight over my head. Plus I don't really like to swear. I only swear when i accidentally injure myself... like stubbing my toe on the Hoover... i do that lots!

Oh ta! Speaking of journals i was reading your journal, hows your dog now?

I was on the net twice today and i was wondering do Span have an offical website?

I know it's great isn't it?! Such a funky little name! Who ever said the Catholic Church wasn't groovy?lol

Claire
xxxxxx

Hiya...

Ahh... yes, toast is an ingenious invention... But brown cheese is v. different from anything you can get in Scotland... It's sweet, mild, and round... In japan, it's sold as a candy, a v. expensive candy...

Takes a foreigner to see the good things of someones country... You've really made me think about how good Norway actually is too...

Yup, she holds all the sign of being a "berte". It is of course better if you're capable of avoiding getting angry... I'm usually capable of doing that... but if they insult me for being an individual, they've got it coming to them... Mind you, I usually choose to discuss things with them instead, the results are usually much better...

Well, she's better... Her breathing is allmost back to normal, but she's still very weak... I just realized how terrified I am of loosing her. I mean, it's not just the family dog... It's MY dog... I've raised her, trained her, and lived with her for four and a half year now. She's probably my best and most trustful companion, and she means so much to me... The way we're bound to each other... We're even capable of communicating... sort of... I know that at some point, she'll die, probably only in a couple of years, and it's not the first time she's been close to dying, but I really felt the fear this time... Anyway, she's better now. I just needed to get it off my chest. Phew...

Yup, they do, it's: http://www.span.mu

Hmm... who did say that? I seem to recall seeing a movie once, about the catholic church, trying to become more modern and appeal to youngsters again, they made this really cool statue... "Pal Jesus", where Jesus wore sunnglasses and was allmost a hip-hopper (not one to swear, though). I'm still trying to get hold of one to have in the car, or something (I don't have a car at the moment, but if I get one, I'll certainly have a wee "Pal Jesus" figure hanging from the rear-view mirror!)... Obviously, the whole movie was fiction, but it was sort of amusing, in a weird way...

Øyvind

hallozy

Yum i lurrve toast! I usually eat a roll and jam for breakfast though... rather weird when i think about it...

They well it as a candy?! Gosh it must be good!

Oh i saw the "berte" again tonight... she was as ugly and unenlightened as i remembered. Her and her little friend were going about flicking their hair as 2 boys on bikes followed them about... how terribly sad. And she had laughed at what i was wearing! She was wearing joggers for pete's sake! Gosh... at least i have fun with what i wear! Not that i actually think about what other people are wearing it's just here since I was provoked.

Ah glad to hear she's better. It's a shame that dogs can't live longer than they do. It's almost like losing a family member isn't it? I don't actually have a dog and never have had one but i understand how people can become so close to their pets.Personally i would love a cat. Im nuts about cats!... I get the feelin i may have already told you that... not sure.

Oh i'll check out the website when im next on the web.

I hadn't heard of "Pal Jesus"! Mind you i had heard the church were trying to modernise the set-up to attract the younger generation. Personally i don't see it working out. I don't think so many people need religion anymore... they have other things to believe in... I for one "Believe In A Thing Called Love!"(A song by The Darkness in case you weren't totally sure!)

Claire
xxxxxx

eugh... that was supposed to be "they sell" not "they well"... crikey!

Claire
xxxxxx

I'm out of original ways of saying hello in English, you win...

Oh yeah... it's an excellent way of getting good, nutritious food when you're not at home... I used it when I went to "The Gathering" this year, five days with toast for breakfast... yummy.

Well, they do, and it is quite allright, but quite special. It's not considered a candy in Norway, though. It's only in Japan... so I'm not sure you'll like it. I could bring some when I head over this winter, though, just so you'll get to try it... It is possibly the only edible food in the Norwegian cuisine... At least I think so...

Hmmm... well, she sounds like a complete idiot... I dunno how you put up with it... I know I wouldn't be angry with her, but I would react to it in some way, just to teach her something...

Yup, she is like a family member... But, there comes a time for everyone... I'm likely to experience many losses in this life, and I suppose I had better get used to the idea...
Well, it's to do with the fact that you've known them for allmost their entire life, and they trust you, so you trust them.
Oh, and you have told me about your fascination for cats... We have a cat as well, you know...? They are really cool creatures, but they are very independent... At least ours is...

Well, I don't see it working either, but it obviously does affect some people... I dunno really what I believe... I suppose I'm an agnostic... I like to think that God=Love... And I'm really fascinated by Buddhism, I'm a definite believer in reincarnation... I suppose that's my way of pushing away any fear I have of dying, and losing people I care about...

YAY, my Dream Theater ticket arrived this morning... I'm sooo excited... They've decided to play the whole tour without support bands... Which means they'll be doing a three-hour show with only themselves... YAY!!!

Øyvind

I've ran out of them too but nevermind!

Yeah tis. I was in college today and i was speaking to a French guy, Lionel and he says(apart from the weather) what he doesn't like about Scotland is the food. I could believe it! He said something about fatty chips... mind you he said it in French so i can't be sure! I thought about it... the food over here sucks. It's pretty unhealthy. I don't even know how to eat healthily!

Ooooh yaay that would be nice. Does the cheese taste like Babybell? I sometimes wat that as a snack because it's so small.


Och well... im not that bothered by her to be honest but i have had visions of giving her a Glasgow Kiss...!

Oh you're so lucky. I'd love to have a cat. My mum's scared of cats so it isn't likely i'll get one anytime soon... plus we couldn't really afford to keep a cat anyway unfortunately.

Well i suppose that's a realistic outlook but it's quite a pessimistic one too! I've been not too bad where deaths in the family are concerned.

Gosh i don't know what i'd say my religion is. I'd be tempted to say Catholic because that's how i was brought up but to be honest i haven't been to chapel in years.
I like the idea of reincarnation though... i'd like to come back as a cat!

Spk soon!
Claire
xxxxxx

wat it as a snack?! hmmmm my typing sucks! you'll have to excuse it.

Claire
xxxxxx

Phew...

Did I write Scottish cuisine? I certainly meant Norwegian... Anyway... haggis is NOTHING to what horrible environmental poisons are being served at the Norwegian dinner table... Yuck, fermented cheese, roasted sheep-heads, not to mention "lutefisk" (directly translated that means caustic-soda-fish)... urrrgh. I must admit, I've never tried any of this, but it is traditional norwegian food, usually eaten around christmas.

Well, here's a tip on eating healthily... make your own food... That's what I do... Like pasta... it's easy to make, it's done in fifteen minutes, and it's delicious.

Well, I dunno, I haven't tried Babybell, but my guess is a definite no. It's not really a candy, even though some japanese weirdoes seem to think it is. You have to eat it with bread... it's the only way...

And what sort of horrible, pain-inflicting, and severely damaging to both the physical and psychological health... thing, might a Glasgow Kiss be? (Horrible grammar, I know, but you mean what I understand, right)

Well, it's really nice to have a cat... but I prefer dogs... they're much more fun (open for discussion... but that's me).

Well... I dunno if it is really pessimistic, as long as it doesn't make you cynical. I think it is important to have it in the back of my mind, bevause the shock would be MUCH worse... Besides, I don't really fear death anymore... I can't remember when I ever have, but I certainly don't do it now. It's a waste of time... It comes, and you have to accept it, even if you do not like it, but I choose not to fear the unknown. That way, my passing will be easier to handle for those who hang around after I'm gone.

Well, if Buddhism is right, you've allready been a cat... I suppose I've never been brought up to belong to any religion at all, my mum was totally fed up with it when she left her own home at age 18, so I've never even been baptised. Not that I mind, though, I suppose it has enabled me to think for myself.

Yeah, probably some time later tonight...
Øyvind

Yo!

Gosh i've never even tryied haggis... i don't reckon it would be too fab.

Eugh! That Norwegian food sounds pretty vile!sheep heads? eugh i thought the French were bad for eating snails!lol

Oh yeah i used to eat lots of pasta but i have went off of it a little bit... ate too much for too long i suppose... but there's always crisps...!

So you're going to bring a loaf of bread to the gig with you too Oyvind?! I can just see that!

A Glasgow Kiss is where you headbutt someone on the mouth... i think it would be far more successful to headbutt someone on the nose though... och well the Glaswegians know best i suppose!

I think you're right about dogs being more fun that cats actually. I just like the way cats look. Plus they sometimes sit on you lap don't they? Oh it just came to me... i know why i like cats... because they're as antisocial as me! Just kidding... almost.

Buddhism? I don't know much about Buddhism really. You rmum got sick of religion? My mum is still fairly religious... OMG! I just realised my mum doesn't go to mass anymore!... honestly that just came to me... gosh im ignorant. ...

How do you know i have been a cat in a past life?

Claire
xxxxxx

"tried"... i can spell... i promise!xxx

Lo!

Well, neither have I... But I have been given a very vivid acount of how your tongue feels after having eaten it, I've never tried most of the Norwegian stuff either... I strongly suspect that I wouldn't enjoy it.

Well, in some oriental lands, termites and ants are considered a delicatessen. Well... the sheep heads are said to be rather tasty... especially the facial muscles... It's the eyes that really scare me, though...

Yup, crisps are fab, but not for dinner...

No, you'll supply the bread, and I'll supply the cheese.... Naw, I'll just give you the cheese, and you can try it at your own leisure...

Ahh... you know, that's quite painful... The nose would be worse though, I start nosebleeding really easy...

Allright, you've got one there, cats look realy cool... And kittens... oh sheez, once you see them, you're bound to bring at least three home with you.

Well, it's a big religion, I dunno where to start explaining it really, the main point, though is that the gods aren't allmighty, they are just reincarnated beings bound by the circle of life, but they've gotten further along the path than human beings. Anyway, buddhism is really one huge peace-religion, it says that if you work with yourself, and always attempt to become a better person, then, at some point in your life(or the one you'll lead some 200000 years from now), you'll reach enlightenment, and nirvana, and become a buddha. That's the basics, but there are loads of other terms, most of them I don't even know the full meaning of... But for some reason, the whole thing makes sense to me, if everybody struggled to make the world a better place, and to improve themselves, then the world would become a great place to live.

Well, you see... according to buddhism, we all start off as a low life-form, possibly in some other dimension,and then we advance upwards as we struggle to become better, thus, you have most likely been a cat at least once... The really mind-wringing thing about buddhism are the time-periods descriped there. It is said that the time it takes for a soul to travel from the lowest form of life imaginable, to nirvana, is about the same time that it would take to polish the whole of mount everest down to 0m with a silk cloth (AND with only one stroke per century). Abviously this last bit is a metaphor, but it means that it takes a LONG time to attain enlightenment...

Phew, that was rather a lot, wasn't it.

Øyvind