h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya...

Ahh.. I see... Well, I think I would have the same amount of fun if I were to chat with some greek/russian person...

Well, I know Mari quite well... I have my reasons for not wanting to get to know her any better, but I'm not sharing them on the web... And Tina... well... I'm not sure... she's a v. quiet girl... so I really don't know anything about her... Maybe... yes... I'll try and get to know her better...
Oh, so you DO have Mari in scotland as well... hmmm how do you pronounce it... probably not in the same way that we do in Norway... Our vowels are different...

Naw, I quite like the silence...
And the isolation is just the price that I have to pay to get that...
Silence is essential to me, I need it in order to contemplate, meditate, sort of.

Oh my, I'm using way too many dots (...).

Well, I'm still in videregående, which means 7-hour days, with loads of subjects that don't neccesarily interest me... I consider you lucky... in one respect. You certainly have a lot more freedom than I do...

Hiya...

Ahh.. I see... Well, I think I would have the same amount of fun if I were to chat with some greek/russian person...

Well, I know Mari quite well... I have my reasons for not wanting to get to know her any better, but I'm not sharing them on the web... And Tina... well... I'm not sure... she's a v. quiet girl... so I really don't know anything about her... Maybe... yes... I'll try and get to know her better...
Oh, so you DO have Mari in scotland as well... hmmm how do you pronounce it... probably not in the same way that we do in Norway... Our vowels are different...

Naw, I quite like the silence...
And the isolation is just the price that I have to pay to get that...
Silence is essential to me, I need it in order to contemplate, meditate, sort of.

Oh my, I'm using way too many dots (...).

Well, I'm still in videregående, which means 7-hour days, with loads of subjects that don't neccesarily interest me... I consider you lucky... in one respect. You certainly have a lot more freedom than I do...

Thanks... You have no idea what you're missing... Or perhaps you do... Anyway, classical concerts are great, in one way, you're really capable of letting the music flow through you... You're sitting, and the audience is silent. So you get the possibility of getting really emotionally engaged in the music... it's lovely. I don't thin you get that at rock gigs... Mind you, rock gigs are great!!!

Øyvind

Well... I have a solution to the speech-thingy, do like I do... go out and buy a couple of really good earplugs (like the ones that take away 11db or something), or some of those cheap one-time thingys... They're very handy if there's something you really do not wish to hear... And then bring something to read...

Naw, I don't really use those plugs on such solemn occasions, but I do need them when I play drums, my ears are v. sensitive to noise. Also, they come in handy on small club-gigs.

But good luck, then.

Øyvind

P.S. And the reason for the strange double post at the top was because of a transfer error I got the first time I tried posting...

Heeeelo!

Yeah that's cool... well me pronounce Mari like we pronounce the word "marry". Is that how you pronounce it?

Yeah isolation is good mind. My friend phoned me about an hour ago and asked me if i wanted to go to her house tonight. She's having a little social gathering. However im not sure i want to go. It sounds terrible but im not sure i can be bothered getting ready to go out tonight! Im the psrt of person who hates last minute plans. Typical Cancerian trait you see.

Oh gosh yeah i definately think i have more freedom than you. However you seem to enjoy what you do and that's great.

Oh! Im quite happy today because i was all worried about this essay that i wrote for my spanish lecturer. It was our first assignment therefore it was going to be her first impression of what i can do. I got an A! I also got an A for a class exercise i did... and full marks in a vocabulary test! Yaay! Im really luvvin this Friday!

Yeah i think i should go to a classical concert. Not many people i know are really into that though... bad excuse eh? Oh but yes rock gigs are great. Really good exercise!

Claire
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"Claire rolls around on the floor laughing"

i had to scroll back through our messages to see what you were talking about when you mentioned earplugs! Good idea i must say but id probably get caught!lol... plus my headmistress ain't that bad... she said my prom dress was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen... awwww! Nah the real reason im gonna put up with her for one night is because its gonna be the last time i'll ever see her... possibly!

Claire
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Hi!

Hmmm... we pronounce the vowels differently, the a, becomes the sound that the I in right (provided you speak oxford accent, which I know you don't but I can't think of any other example), and the i, becomes brighter, like the first e in please... Ain't that cool, eh?

Well.. does the social gathering involve getting drunk? Cause that can be pertty exhausting... Naw, I think you're probably just tired, it's very normal... Go drink a large glass of REALLY cold water, and get some sleep, and you'll be ready to go to any gathering that might occur on saturday.

Hmmm cancer.. which sign would that be in Norwegian (I may be wrong but Ifigured you might be speaking about the signs in the Zodiac), I wonder... What sort of an animal is that?

So true... I really enjoy what I do, provided that my teachers are allright. We have this really horrible teacher in ensemble... he's so disrespectful.

GREAT!!!

Well, I'll give you no excuse this time, if I come to Glasgow this winter, and I have to cook up some classical concert in order to be given leave, I might as well take you with me for that concert too... Only if you'd like to, though.

Øyvind

Helloooo again!

Right. I see... hmmmm "Claire tries to pronounce Mari the Norwegian way but (probably) fails."lol In actual fact i have only ever known one girl called Mari so it isn't a very common name over here... Claire is though! It's everywhere!

Yeah there probably would have been plenty of booze at the party. Im not really into drinking to be honest with you. My mother must look at me and think "When is she going to rebel?!"lol.

Cancer is represented by the crab.

That's a shame about your teacher. A bad teacher can really ruin an otherwise interesting subject. I have to admit i think sometimes the teacher can really make the subject. There are very few brilliant teachers out there. I don't know if you would agree with me but it think it's nice to have a teacher who can make you laugh. I don't know why i think that! I like teachers who tell stories and are a bit eccentric. Then again i like teachers who are really sweet and kind. Im thinking of my ex-Spanish and French teachers as i write this(respectively).

yeah my A's have really made my day i must say! Plus i can tell my Spanish teacher from school on Monday that im doing well... he'll be proud!

Yaay okay! That's really nice of you. You will have to excuse me being a classical concert novice but im sure it'll be great. Is there likely to be a concert in Glasgow this winter? Gosh im asking you and its practically the city i live in!lol. Its just if it was Edinburgh i have no idea how to get there. Oh and when we do meet up at Span don't worry.... im not a loon i promise! I might be a bit scatter-brained sometimes mind but im not a strange person... even if i dress a bit strange sometimes...!

Well... was that all? Gosh can't even remember. Well i better be off... probably have an early start tomorrow. I'll probably be back on later tonight mind after i have a shower... i know what im like! I can never give in to sleep!

Claire
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Hmmm I'm running out of ways to say hi...

Haha... well, I suppose you usually have to hear it in order to get it right. Especially if the word contains one of the special Norwegian letters, Æ, Ø or Å. Or just double a's. Speaking of which... have you gotten anywhere with the MSN-thingy? Oh, and I think Claire is a lovely name... We don't have it in Norway, I think the nearest equivalent would be "Klara", but that's not really a nice name (because of some donald duck character, that the name is now commonly associated with). Anyway... Øyvind is not too uncommon over here either... but it's not very normal either...

Like I said, I don't drink much either, there's the occasional glass of wine, but never more than that. Also, none of my friends drink, so when we have social gatherings, they never involve booze...

Ahh... right... I'm a capricorn.

Well, we had one teacher in lower secondary ("Ungdomsskolen"), who always made me laugh. He was really eccentric, but an excellent teacher. We had him in History and English, and he was great at both of them. In history, he would always avoid lecturing, he would sit behind his desk and tell stories, usually funny stories. We learned loads, and he was really involved in what he was teaching. There was one problem, though, when he taught us english, he spoke a perfect oxford accent... and I picked up on it, I have used loads of time trying to rid myself of it, and eventually, I succeded, at least partially.

Great!

You're not a loon? Aw, that's too bad... I am... .
No, I'm not worried... Well, I can't say anything about the likelihood, but they used to have like 3-4 tours a year, and not one of them has been without a visit to Glasgow... Anyway, I think I should be able to get you there, even if it was in Edinburgh. I'm fairly good at getting around in cities, and I have friends in Edinburgh who could tell me how to get there... So don't worry.

Hmmm... or perhaps you were asking about the classical concert. I have no idea, but there usually are a lot more of them than one should think. I'm hoping for something like Berlioz Requiem, or perhaps some Tchaikovsky or Sibelius... but who knows... We'll have to see...
Oh, and don't worry, I was a classical concert novice up until a year ago... so I won't hold that against you.

Well, I'm going to bed soon...

Good Night
Øyvind

Hola my amigo,

Awwww you think Claire is a nice name? It's extremely popular over here. Particularly with people the exact same age as me. I'm not kidding i must know at least 20 other Claire's.:0 I think Oyvind is a really nice name too. It's really unusual to me obviously. I love unusual names. They're great.

You don't drink in company either? I mean im hardly ever in company (!) but I wouldn't mind drinking so much if it were with friends. I hate it when people get drunk though. I can't abide by that at all.

It makes sense that you're a Capricorn actually. The Capricorns i know are very successful, clever and hard-working and that seems to sum you up pretty well

An Oxford accent? Oh gosh! You should have got yourself a wee Scottish accent!lol. When you speak English do you not speak with your Norwegian accent? That might seem like a stupid thing to ask. Don't get me wrong when i speak French i try my best to put on my best French accent(French with a Glasgwegian accent is never good!) and it's the same with Spanish but somehow i think it sounds okay for foreigners who's second language is English to speak with their own accent.

Well... okay i admit it i am a loon! Clair De Lune!

Hmmmm yeah i meant the classical concert. I think i've been to Edinburgh once via public transport and we got a train and a private coach i think... can't even remember it was so long ago! We went to see "The Phantom Of The Opera" at the Edinburgh Playhouse.

Well im sure either the rock gig or the classical concert will be great fun.... However don't worry... I'll be sure not to wear a tutu if we go to a classical one...!

Okay Goodnight, Oyvind.
Buenas Noches

Claire
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Haha @ me... "Claire slaps her own wrist"... i wrote "hola MY amigo"... i think i should phone the school and tell them im not worthy of that Spanish prize because im still getting pronouns wrong!!!! Okay it was a typing error but still...

Claire
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Hi!

Yeah, sure... Claire is a nice name, that's why it's so popular.
If you like unusual names, you'll love Norway... We have loads of typical Norwegian names, and they would probably all seem weird to you...

Well, the dilemma has never arised, none of my friends drink, so I wouldn't know, but I really don't like booze, which is what the youngsters drink over here, so I suppose I would avoid drinking for as long as possible... Anyway, I can get away with not drinking, because I'm a school-geek, sort of. And a computer geek, mind you.

Hmm... well... maybe. I've had my horoscope set accurately by an expert once, and I've been amazed by how accurate the predictions were, and the fact that many of them have come true... It is, quite frankly, spooky... But thanks.

Well, I originally had a wee Scottish accent... And now I'm not certain what sort of an accent I have, I think it's this huge mixture of impressions. I've actually become quite good at adapting my accent according to who I'm talking to. Some people have taken me to be respectively austrailian, irish, american, scottish, danish, even russian. The list is endless. Problem is that I tend to pick up on the accent that the person I'm talking to is using, and so they sometimes think I'm mocking them, which I'm not... It's led to a lot of amusing and embarassing run-ins with foreigners (mostly americans, for some reason).

NO! I avoid the Norwegian accent at all costs. It's absolutely terrible! You should try listening to an interview with a Norwegian, an excellent example would be Thor Heierdahl. He speaks a perfect grammatical english, but with a very Norwegian accent. You see... Nordic languages, and Norwegian in particular have this thing about tonality. We use a LOT more different tones than you would do in both english, spanish and french. Which is why some people tend to believe that Norwegians are always singing, and pulling sandwiches out of their pocket (this last bit is true... in a way, I'll explain it if you want me to).

Hahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa... oh god... you have NO idea who you reminded me of... We had this substitute teacher in French, for half a year, our original teacher was in cancer treatment. Anyway, he loved singing, only he knew nothing of how to make his voice sound nice, and he was a countertenor (which is like way too sharp for me, I'm second bass). So he would have us singing "Au clair de la lune" in our french lessons. Only, he started way to high up in the registry for any of us, and even for himself sometimes (not that he noticed though...). So the result was that he was the only person left singing, falsely. Poor guy, he really thought that he could've been a musician... There are loads of other stories tied up to that guy, and he had a terrible Norwegian accent in both French and English btw.

Well, I hear it's only a couple of hours by train to Edinburgh, so I think that should be allright. Anyway, we'll figure that out when the time comes.

Yeah... allright... that's good. A tutu at a classical concert... Now THAT would be amusing.

Øyvind

Bonjour mon ami...

Awwww well ta. It's not a bad name i guess. I prefer the French and Italian version of my name though... Chiara.

None of your friends drink? Lucky you! I feel ike a spoilsport sometimes when i won't drink at social gatherings. Even adults try to get me to drink more! Is the attitude to alcohol in Norway different to over here? I mean the typical view of Scots andalcohol is that we can't stop... well it's true as im sure you know... well not for all of us... just the vast majority. I've always had the impression that Scandinavian countries don't have such a problem with youngsters abusing alcohol or anything else for that matter. Are you're attitudes not more relaxed? Everything seems to be taboo over here.

Oh i've never had that before! I 'd like to though. I have a book which gives me advice for everyday of 2003 for my horoscope. Problem is i forget to read it every day... I think the descriptions of what a person born under a certain star sign is like are incanny! Im definitely a typical Cancerian. Quiet, a worrier and over-sensitive. Oh but creative too apparently! yaay!

That's a shame! That's hardly your fault mind. I mean when you're learning a language you aotomatically pick up words, phrases and idioms that the person you are speaking to is using. I guess it's the same with their accent. It's the only way to learn really! Mind you it must be difficult learning English and getting an accent to suit you because there are soooo many different people with different nationalities and accents who speak English. Must be a nightmare. I cannot think how the Norwegian accent sounds for the life of me! I'll try to find out who that guy is you mentioned... or you could just tell me!lolx

Singing? Oh what like the Welsh?! They always sound like they're singing due to their accent!lol. I like their accent though. It's nice.

Pulling sandwiches out their pockets? Okay that one you will have to explain to me Oyvind!

Haha. You're teacher sounds like a right loon! I don't think i've had many teachers who liked to sing... not even my music teachers!

He was a countertenor? Gosh! The connotations i have of that word you don't want to know!lol...

Hmmmm i'll need to find that out. I ain't sure.

write soon!
Claire
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God dag vennen....

Hmmm never heard that... but I still think Claire is a beautiful name...

Well, we are more relaxed when it comes to talking about problems... Even drug problems and the sorts... But I believe the problem is just as big over here. Norway is a country without any alcoholic culture... So when people drink, they tend to drink more than what is good for them... What's usually drunk is strong spirits, like 96%... and the sorts. The only objective of the exercise is to loose control... So the problem is huge over here as well... But you wouldn't hear about that in Scotland... or would you?

Well, My only tip for you is to stop worrying, and relax a bit... But I dunno really how you should do it... But getting your horoscope set by an expert should be possible, mind you, it costs a bit... The reason I have it, is because I know one...

Well, Heyerdahl is a V. famous norwegian scientist/archaeologist. He went on loads of strange expeditions. Among others, he sailed on a balsa raft across half of the pacific, to Easter Island.

If you search for him with google or something, you can probably pick up an audio-file with part of an interview with him... It's a memorable experience, I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I first heard how he spoke... Or you could try and dig up something with "Kjell Magne Bondevik", the norwegian prime minister... Bloody git... but still...

Hmm... I've never heard the welsh accent... But if the language is rooted in germanic, like norwegian, then chances are it might be similar to the norwegian accent...

Hmmm, well, norwegians have this tradition for bringing packed lunches everywhere... usually in backpacks or pockets... This is usually v. strange to the everyday tourist... And you usually hear statements such as "All Norwegians walk around with sandwiches in their pockets"... We're famed for it...

Well, he's the only french teacher I've ever had who managed to digress from grammatics and onto can-can (he even danced, to try anf get our attention... the images are still burnt into the back of my brain, what a trauma...)

Hmmm well, now that you mention it, I do want to know what connotations you have for that word... You've gotten to my curiosity... I may come to regret this horribly... but still...

Øyvind

Buongiorno! or Buenanotte i should say.

96& alcohol?! Errrm i don't know much about alcohol but wouldn't that kill you?!

No i have always heard of Scandinavian countries that they are very relaxed, open and honest about alcohol and that they know when to stop. I didn't realise you lot were so like the Scots in your attitude to booze. Perhaps im getting confused because Scandinavian countries are well-known for having the lowest teen-pregnancy rate in Europe. I mean that's pretty fab. We're absolutely awful for teen-pregnancy over here. There's a girl who was in my year at school and she has went back for 6th year and she's 6 months pregnant. I could name several girls who got pregnant when they were in 5th and 6th year at our school. It's tragic. I was at an engagement part a few weeks back to "celebrate" the engagement of a 19-year-old girl and a 21-year-old guy. The girl is pregnant. I felt like i was celebrating a modern-day tragedy! Plus there's a 19-year-old girl who lives in my street(who was from my school) and she had twins about 3 years ago and one of them is really sick, she is completely paralysed and needs 24-hour care. It's a real shame. It's even scarier because im similar in age to them and im female. Oh and can i just say... none of the "fathers" are around for these girls, that's what bothers me about the whole issue so much.

sorry for going on there! I go off on tangents sometimes.

Cool... i shall search for him on the net this week coming when im at college.

Hmmmm im not at all sure the welsh language is rooted in germanic. Not sure at all... i could find that out too mind!

Haha! Do you know what Oyvind?! I should be Norwegian!lol I take packed-lunches everywhere too! Not even kidding neither! I always took a packed lunch to school(every single day at both primary school and secondary school) and now i even take my own lunch to college(very few people take their own lunch to college!) I even took a packed lunch to the theatre today...

Actually the real reason i take food everywhere with me is because if i don't eat regularly i seriously get dizzy. That's why im definitely going to get tested for diabetes soon. I've got a few symptoms.

He danced to get your attention?! Awwww! My History teacher did that too mind. Danced with the chairs... my little cousin mentioned him today in the theatre(she has just went to high school this year)... she said "That Mr Geraghty... he's strange..."... i could hardly disagree with her!

Oh gosh...well... our Music teacher told us that in Italy(where many countertenors came from) they got... oh my God i can't remember the word!... well basically... it was something to do with their testosterone levels being decreased and that's why they becasme softer, rounder and just more feminine in general... hence why they gained high voices,,, is the word vasectomy? My God it's me who's first language is English and i don't even know! Claire= the height of stupidity!

well im off to jump in the shower and try not to wake up my mam in the process... a difficult challenge... she's such a light sleeper.

write soon!
Claire
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Hello yet again!

I always meant to ask you the most pointless of questions... How tall are you btw? Oh and also i know your hair is long but how long? How nosy am i?!lol

Claire
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Hej!

Nope, not if you drink it in very small amounts... but you get drunk VERY quickly... plus, it tastes terrible... I hate the stuff...

But it's true... We ARE relaxewd, open and honest about alcohol, but that doesn't prevent us from drinking the stuff... unfortunately.
As for the teenage pregnancy-thing, I think we might be better at using protection... The fact that we are very open, also about sexual issues, leads to more awareness, which in turn leads to us being perhaps more careful. I've never heard of a single case of teenage pregnancy... And I certainly do not know anyone who's experienced it. It sounds really tragic... Especially when the fathers abandon the mother and baby... I could never do that... It's absolutely horrible... And totally inconsiderate...

No problem... It's really upsetting to just hear about it... It's important to get it out of your system...

Good, he is perhaps the most famous Norwegian ever...

I can check with my Norwegian-book... we're learning about the linguistic roots of languages... quite interesting, really.

Well, maybe you should... But does your packed lunch consist of dry bread and the traditional norwegian brown cheese?

I see... I'm sorry to hear that... but it's the same with me... I have to eat regularly... not much, but regularly, ever since I stopped having sugar, anyway...

Hahahaaaa... that's happened to me too... We have first graders coming up to me... asking me "Is mr. mellvang always that strange? Will we ever learn anything from him?" To which the ansvers are, respectively, "Yes", and "No, not unless you happen to take a HUGE interest in Shakespeare".

Ahh... yes I know about that... the eunuch singers... poor guys. I don't think the word is vasectomy... Vasectomy is generally a bit more gentle... What they did, in order to make them feminine, was to castrate them... I won't go into any more detail... Unless you REALLY want me to, but, let's say that castration is a wee bit more... brutal... Urrgh.

Good luck with that.

Øyvind

Well, If my conversions are correct, I'm 6"2', We measure it in centimtres over here, which would be 188cm.

Hmm... Well, I have a confession to make... I've had a haircut, so my hair is only half-long now.

Øyvind

Boo!

Oh right yeah of course. "Claire slaps her own wrist". That's this country's attitude to alcohol shining through in me im afraid... People over here prefer lots of lager basically just so they get to drink loads and get drunk rather slowly.

You don't know anyone who's fallen pregnant as a teen or who's fathered a baby when they were a teen?! Gosh! I am honestly shocked... however it shows it can be done... people can be safe... just not British folk! I think sex and everything related is just so taboo over here. Then again i refuse to let people in this country off the hook by making the excuse that they don't have adequate and accurate information about protection... i actually think people in this country(and in Britain in general) are just reckless, self-destructive and perhaps a bit lazy.

Oh ta. That's one of many issues i feel strongly about.. right next message is feminism okay?!lol... just kidding...

The linguistic roots of languages? OooH! I always thought you just had to consult Latin for that...?!??! "Claire has yet another blonde moment":0

Hmmmmm no not dry bread and brown cheese im afraid... Chinese-style fajita and cajun chicken sandwiches in fact...!

Lol... yeah how cute are the first year folk? So sweet! Especially when i used to see em circling the first floor of our school about 10 times(the corridors in our school all looked the same... a bit like a maze actually... i mean i was still getting lost in 3rd year and im not even kidding!)... my little cousin hasn't got many of the same teachers as i had luckily for her... i was always such a pet at school to be honest... there would have been too many comparisons... doesn't help that she's starting to look like me...

Oh castration! Yes of course! You know that word went through my head but I thought "No they weren't as extreme as that"... oh yes they were! I can't remember why they did that in the first place? Very weird.

Claire
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6"2"?! OMG you're soooo tall!:0lol... gosh if we meet up at a Span concert you're going to have to get your magnifying glass out to spot me! Im so tiny! Only 5"2". och well...!

Noooooooooooooooooooo! Oyvind how could you?!... Nah im kidding on... you said it's still long. I sympathise with people who have long hair... it's such a nightmare to keep nice. But it's still kinda floppy-ish? Oh that's okay...!

Claire
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Aaaaah!!!

Well, that's the problem over here, youth basically drink just to get drunk, and they usually have way too much, so there are incidents of people having to go to the hospital and get pumped... uurgh... icky.

No, I'm serious, don't know anyone... It just doesn't happen... much thanks to the fact that sexuality is a very open subject of conversation over here... We get informed about it all the time, through conversation, and of course at school...

Well... Not if you're from Norway, you don't... Norwegian is linked to English a bit further back... through a language known as Indo-European... It was spoken back long before the Greek and Roman empires... Then the languages branched off, and became germanic, which was spoken in the north, the germanic/keltic languages include Welsh, Gaelic, and Norwegian (I think, I havent got my schoolbooks here, so I can't check). English, descended from Indo-european, through latin, french, and then became what you have today... This is v. simplyfied, but English was originally something like a dialect of old Norse, but then came William the Conqueror... and it got mixed up with French... Also, Norwegian has been severely affected by latin when the church entered the picture in 1033... or something... Phew, that was a wee bit of Norwegain linguistic history... We have loads more... did you know that we actually have three languages in Norway?

Oooh.. lucky you... we're not that exotic... Packed lunches Norwegian-style are horrible btw...

Hahaha... well, our school is probably a lot easier to find your way around, it's quite small... some 550 students or so...

Anyway, that reminds me of my cousin... in Switzerland... He had two elder brothers... both of them were real trouble-makers... And I mean REAL trouble-makers... Some of the things they did... oh sheez... Anyway, when he came to school, his teacher held a roll-call, and when he got to my cousin, he just carefully noted that he'd had his two older brothers... I think it took about half a year before the teachers realized that he was actually this really quiet and innocent kid... Poor guy...

Well, if you castrate a guy before he reaches his teens, his voice won't crack... he'll keep his child's voice which works miracles for choir music, because you can have professional singers with all the technique, that still have a child's voice. Really horrible what you did in these days... mind you, I don't think we've improved a great deal...

Øyvind