h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've been to the Netherlands, it just rains all the time!!!

Besides, like a*se you can be a writer anywhere. Most writers do not make a living out of creative writing. Most writers have to write a lot of other stuff that doesn't end up in novels.

Do you think I'd be so miserable if I were a full-time novelist???

(Sorry, I'm just aggressive and frustrated today.)

ok! ok! do not eat your umbrella

I am just trying to be nice....

once it rained when was here...it is never the same!

sorry Greta, but I am not realy intrested being bashed all the time I am realy nice guy!

I unsubscribe now!

(I just wish I could unsubscribe from myself... good job pheloxi.)

Hi Greta

I understand about rejection, insecurity, about a sense of worth or accomplishment being contingent upon external factors rather than coming from within. I feel that way myself most of the time.

Really disliking one's job can be worse than anything in undermining one's sense of self-worth. Especially when so many people have the attitude that your identity IS whatever it is you do 'for a living'. Even more so when you really want to be doing something else, and can't seem to get a break.

For what it's worth, I'm still pulling for you from over here. It's probably not much consolation, but I think very highly of you.

Thank you psychocandy... sympathy helps. I'm sorry I took it out on pheloxi, but he was sort of winding me up. Of course, I admire his positive outlook, but obviously he does not belong to P.U.D.D.I.N.G., which was my home when I first came here. It's all good and well to be shiny happy, but it sometimes borders on the nonsensical. And my discomfort is real.

Most people are in jobs they don't like. It doesn't bother me when I'm hanging out with that kind of person, but I happen to know a few people who work in the music industry, and they're always a bit flippant about me having to get up in the morning to go to work. Because I'm not a freaking rock star, you see. I feel looked down on, and I hate that, exactly because I'm not in this job because I love it. I'm in this job because I need the money.

My writing career is stalled, I have no faith in myself, and I need human warmth, good conversations, and understanding. I am desperately trying to find happiness in myself, but I'm really just miserable all the time, because I get restless working eight hours a day in an office, with no holidays (the nose surgery ate up all my vacations and I can't even pull a sickie) and worst of all, nothing to look forward to.

To top it off. I have one day off tomorrow and I've promised my parents I'd have lunch with them. I really don't feel like it, I'd really rather be on my own. They'll start asking a lot of questions and my dad will get mad whether I answer or not. I want my day off, I just want to be on my own, but they've booked the restaurant and I'm seriously thinking about pulling a sickie on them...

I know what you mean about the 'shiny, happy' being too much sometimes. When you're feeling low and miserable, sometimes you need commiseration more than cheering up. Sometimes the last thing you need is someone 'making light' (whether or not their intentions are good) of your unhappiness, as if that will make it go away.

Too many people I know seem to judge a person's worth and/or success in life based on their job title and their salary. As far as I'm concerned, work is something I have to do to finance playing and to pay my bills. Of course, it'd be nice to have a job that isn't mind-numbing and soul-destroying. Like you say, people who love their jobs and have fun at work (a few of my close friends have the good fortune to do that, too) can just make it feel all that much worse.

Keep the faith, Greta. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that something good will happen with your book soon. And I'm always here to offer warmth, understanding, and conversation.

Good luck with the lunch with your parents... parents certainly have a knack for making their children feel like utter failures no matter what. I hope it goes all right... or that you can pull off the sickie...

I would skip the parents this round in that case. They can have a way of making it worse
Sorry to hear your down. Hope you hear about your book soon.

Sounds like you need a positive happening.
May something interesting happen to you today!

It can be kinda lonely holding out for what you want, need and holding out for quality in yourself or others.

My therapist asked me why I talked to the worst people for me, while I was down. I would too! I did not even realise it.

I learned to not talk to certain people when i was in a slump. Parents & certain friends are not always helpful if they have a different vision for you or if they are fearful of changes you want to make. They are not neccesarily bad people,they're just not able to focus on your goals in a supportive way.

Does not mean it will always be that way or you will stay in this place. Pudding does have its place! I believe the bad stuff is better out than in

I am not totally comfy with anger (limits), but it sure feels a lot better than sad.

I will just start cussing and make myself rant till i laugh or exhaust. I'll sing happy songs with disgusting words for fun. I llike to make the chicken cluck sound with the f word I go around the house clucking so to speak. It is but works some days.

Good Luck at feeling better soon.

Thanks girls. Unfortunately, I can't skip the parents (my dad wouldn't understand if I stood them up at the last minute with no explanation), but hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow.

I really feel like talking to somebody who really loves me, but I'm too ashamed to tell my friends what happened. I'm sick of being thought of as pathetic and silly. I feel I'm such a failure. No book out, no prospects, no energy, no distance left to run. And I don't really want to inflict myself on the people around me.

I know basically how you're feeling Greta , I've been there (or in the vicinity) more times than I'd like to remember .

I know what you meant there, about the 'shiny, happy' thing bordering on the nonsensical. When you're feeling the way you do, it just seems so inane, so...well yeah, almost nonsensical.

Really hope that lunch with the parents isn'y yoo stressful! Sometimes the parents are the last people you want to be around...but, at least they can be somewhat understanding.

'T'~ hope it goes better than my typing

Lunch was OK. I was OK for the best part of the day, then I dropped in on my ex and his girlfriend was there. She's a kid, only nineteen and still goes to school. She is pretty but insipid - a young girl. I thought, he'd rather have her than me, am I really that horrible? (Obviously not, since he still fancies me. But I'm less pliable, take up more space, am more conspicuous. You can't miss me. I'm not arm candy.)

Then I checked my inbox and there was mail from a former suitor I really didn't fancy (poor guy, I did my best not to hurt his feelings, but what could I do?) and another guy I've met online who is quite a pleasant person but doesn't catch my fancy.

My former correspondant hasn't written. Magic gone. My likeness in pictures has taken it away.

Hallmark-style "smile and the world will smile with you" platitudes just won't cut it. Empathy's where it's at, and you guys have plenty. Thank you

Glad lunch was OK Greta bet you still want a day off for yourself or from yourself ,as I say at times about myself!

Do you still care for your ex you dropped in on?
I would not enjoy looking at his new girlie, no matter what.
Is that one of those acts I was speaking of earlier? The thingee where my therapists said to me;I always talked to exactly the wrong person in times of low esteem? They merely reinforced I was right about myself in the bad way Still amazes me I sabatoged myself that way.

Respectfully Greta: I realise it could just be me, not you.

I am hoping you get good news from another direction soon.
I doubt your picture had that result.
Sounds more like the person on the other end has some undisclosed problem.

My ex was OK, actually. It's just chemistry between us, not love. But he does fancy me, and it's good to be around people who fancy you when you're feeling unfanciable.

He says I don't look half as good in the pic as I do in person. I know... I know... I know...

Good then!
Comparing yourself is always self sabatoging.

You are the one & only Greta!

Oh, his girlfriend is pretty but I'm sexier

Hey! Greta, What happened to, "giving up boys to consintrate on your writing career"?? Well just thought I would ask
Smudger.

I compared you in a slump, to myself and others a while back.
Trying to compare what you had going vs myself and others.
Thinking wrongly you could snap out of it.

It was not right of me. I was in a slump of my own.
It felt odd as I did it , usually out of character.
It is irrelevant & a comparison.
I had back-up in doing so, I am not alone in misunderstanding.

I Should have listen to the small voice, it knew.
I usually do listen
It was wrong to say.

It does not help someones depression one bit,I am learning more about that as I go. In fact I am working on an entry about what NOT to say to someone that is depressed. I am learning and thought others might like to also. Any input would be appreciated.

I am sorry Greta.

Go ahead!
Be as grumpy as you want!
You deserve to rant and rave as much as the next person
I'm with you no matter what anyone says
Sending lots of and support your way. Always thinking the best of you no matter what the circumstances.
Lady Karen
p.s.:
Would you like me to send another Dragon to roast anyone in particular
Dragantha is closer to you than me, so he might be able to
K

abbi? Sorry? Why?
You were incredibly helpful, in fact. Anything that is not inane humour, hippy-dippiness and what I call "Hallmark wisdom" is more than welcome. Of course your advice would be based on your experience, we all do that because that is all we really know.

Smudger - s**t happens, you know. And my writing career isn't going anywhere much.

Karen - thanks for the support, I've decided not to grumble today and just enjoy the sunshine (on my lunch break only, unfortunately.) Only this one day to get through before the weekend. And over the weekend I have promised myself to come up with a plan, any plan, to get me out of this quandary.