h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

.......That America has gone slightly OTT over Janet Jackson getting her T*t's out at the Superbowl, there's been outrage, protests by the Fridged Matrons of Mississippi, threats of having her records banned and a possible court case over breaking the decency laws. If this happened at the FA cup final she'd have got a chorus of 'get you t*t's out for the boys' and a headline of Janet Boob's in The Sun

Yeah, it is pretty dumb. But that's America for you. How's about the rumour that Bush and Blair are going to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?

I've said this all along, they allways make me smile ameracains!

And of course there's the raisest issue in missippi, and with the two boob's up for the nobel prize?

Get your T*T'S out takes on an all new meaning!

What is it about American women, some will get 'em out for anyone were as others don't show any flesh at all and can freeze you with a touch of their.............hands

not to mention the americans that are banning harry potter books because:

1. they show witchcraft being used.
2. hermiey in one of the books had to be rescued (even though in all the other books she was one of the strongest characters.)
3. the story line is too deep and doesent involve anyone getting sued for piddeling little things that don't really matter.

They are a strange bunch,, why all the fuss, in England she'd make headlines of The Sun and The Daily Sport for a few days but thhat's it

Americans, pfft. Can't live with them, can't nuke them to kingdom come because we're not flying the Stars'n'stripes and therefore aren't responsible enough to have WoMD's.

Give me the French any day.....

Oh God that's a tough choice the American's and the French, No too close to make a decision

The French have a reason to be anal and snooty. A long history of social reform and military tradition, fantastic cuisine, beautiful culture and some of the worlds nicest architecture.

The Americans have 200 years of isolationism, trying to enforce its will on the world, and hypocrisy, such culinary delicacies as meatloaf, the worlds most unproffessional military (point, war in Iraq: "We hit somethin what we was supposed to, nyuk, WOOOOT! WOOOT!", a culture based around crass consumerism and stupidity ("Friends," the compensation claims they put in) and buildings made of plastic and glass.

Now I'm not pro-French, but the Yankees have nothing on the snail-munchers.

I'm for the snail munchers! Yank's (should that be with a "W") hummmm just make me laugh, sorry just can't take them seriously, Been to the states once and I will not go back, (they got grown men playing rounders on the TV), a strange version of rugby, and of cousrse golf which any religous person know's is the devil's own game ( I could not hate a little white ball enough, to hit it that hard) and the tennis! which i think someone forgot to tell them (it's terribly bad form to win, you should allways go out 1st or 2nd round of wimbledon so you can make money commentating for the BBC, and i miss Dan "oooOo I say" maskle, the voice of SW9!

A long history of military tradition???

Did that happen when i wasnt looking? The only notable battle the french have won on there own involved the english, and that was nearly a thousand years ago!

Thean again the Americans are afraid of everything the media tells them to be. If any of you havent seen it, then you should really watch bowling for columbine.

Personally, id pick neither. Both are completely arrogant nonces.

I said tradition! Thier tradition just happens to be losing!

And besides, until we opened the second front in Portugal, the French army of Napoleon was busy conquering Prussia, Austria, Western Russia (they got to Moscow, better than the Krauts managed). They had a fair few colonies (bear in mind that apart from France, Germany and Scotland, all our most notable victories were against the colonial "primitives" in India, Africa, etc.

The Yanks fought precisely ONE (read it, ONE) major war without us, and got trounced by who? Russia? No! Mighty Germany? No! France? No!

Vietnam.

That's right, the worlds "best equipped, best trained" (LMFAO) army got it's /ass/ handed back to it by an army equipped with pyjamas, Kalashnikovs, spades and pointy sticks at the bottom of holes. So basically Elmer Fudd.

Like I said, recently the French have been nothing to write home about, but look at the world Pre-USA and it was us and the French who were the superpowers. Pre-Empire it was the French and the Dagoes. So laugh at them for losing to Germany if you must, but remember, they did win a few back in the mists of time!

Once again it seems to all gone pear shaped, the "boy's" are bickering over nothing! christ I'm bord with my stick is better than your stick!

"Vietnam."

Your forgetting many things when you start on Vietnam. The main point can be summed up by a British General who said:
"The American army is the broadsword to the British army being a scalple"

Look at it this way. In Vietnam they didnt expect jungle warfare in extremely difficult terrain, so napalm (sp?) was used instead. The British army had northern ireland, and so learnt counter terroism and good house-clearance...

British house clearance 101:- A squad will split up, examining the building if possible to look for bombs and trip mines. Various tactics are used to storm the building that would result in the least loss of life. (can you guess what my cousins being doing recently?)

American house clearance 101:- Get tank, aim tank, shoot tank

Look at all the leaders that america have installed, like santa hussain. The american army hacks off the limb of a country and gives it a bad replacement.

Any takers for Gulf War 3: George W Bush jr. jr. strikes back!

One more little thing to add. The most memorable battle of french versus english is agincourt, where the french out numbered the english something like 30 - 1. The french lost.

Napolean was a clever chappy, but not that great. He still got beat.

My foot's asleep, do you mind if i join it!

Well as most of you know i am an American. I don't really like the way hte media is handling anything now adays. Find one thing wrong, they add some lies and everyone is begging for more, just like a stray dog coming back for more food.

We have won a couple good wars back in the day and almost hte same reason why we lost Vietnam cause they used our tactics that we used in the Revolutionary War Anyway they used Guerilla War and we didnt have the support back home for the full war. Part of it was the "hippie" era where there would be riots and people saying love not hate. So the president and the generals couldnt get what they wanted backin WW2 when they had full support from everyone back home.

Sure sure we are a very arrogant nation, one who looks down on the other nations saying we are the super power hear us roar!!! And yes we do get some pretty retarded presidents....Yes let us see how far i can stick a pretzel down my throat before i can choke...ready 1, 2 ,3

Yes we are a young nation that is going to the toilets because of the media exploting every possible thing known to man. I mean we still have Janet Jacksons lil stunt being on "Headline" news, i mean even this morning on the radio, there was talk of a "white" subtance in a mail room so they all stopped what they were doing to find out what it was. Later did they notice that hte package was marked from a sugar making plant sent to another business man.

And not the rule 101 or what every someone was tlaking about. Sure prolly during a war we may do that kind of stuff rather than sending in troops to see if there are anyone in the building. I mean our whole fighting is now based on, "Let's see, ahh yes, the town has military targets so lets drop quite a few bombs. Then see if there is any movement then lets drop soem more. Then after all that do we send in the mobile troops.

My personal opinion is htat this country is going to be just like Rome before it fell. Heck, it already is. It just seems to me that even though the US is a nation of war, that we are looking for some way to remain as the most happy people on the planet. Ya, you can say im proud to be an American...*cough*

" In Vietnam they didnt expect jungle warfare in extremely difficult terrain,"

*looks at map of Vietnam*

*looks at pictures of Vietnam*

*makes mental note of massive amount of TREES in Vietnam*

*laughs at silly Bushlanders*

To be honest, isn't that like Rommel or Montgomery getting to El Alamein and going "bloody hell, look at all that sand!"

"American house clearance 101:- Get tank, aim tank, shoot tank "
You missed what comes next: Miss with tank, hit allies. Get confused. Call in airstrike on house. Miss and destroy foriegn embassy. Get more confused. Hoot and holler whilst letting allies clear house. Go for McDonalds and get fat.

"Any takers for Gulf War 3: George W Bush jr. jr. strikes back!"

All good wars, like trilogies come in threes. See George WWW.Bush.net/JrJr start "GULF WAR III: This time it's pointless" in a dusty country of arabs thankfully thousands of miles from you!

And Jack, we agree, this is just a debate of how stupid the Bushlanders are! He with most examples on today's theme "Military Blunders" wins!

*spots Craxus*

*looks at the above threads*

*ducks and covers*

You understand we mean the American establishment as opposed to the average American? Hence Bushlanders.

*goes back to find his top hat and china tea cup*