h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's a recipe for mud? It must be something like this......

Take some dirt
Add water and stir

My mother was not the best cook. "If you don't like what I fixed, make your own dinner" was not a threat, it was a relief. We learned how to cook for self defense.

My mother continually comes up with unrepeatable recipes.

ER: This is good, what's in it?

ER's Mum: This and that, whatever was in the fridge and/or cupboards.

My brothers and I cook like that. Worst part about those impromptu dishes is that next time you have to go out and buy the odd bits of things to make it again. Half way through cooking dinner one night my brother and I realized we had just made Hamburger Helper from scratch .

Our sister would actually make shopping lists and meal plans and all that organized sort of stuff, like recipes.

I've heard of this "hamburger helper" stuff..... I guess I'll probably get to try it at some stage during my travels.

It's a bit worrisome if your hamburgers need help!

Hamburger Helper is a packet of seasoning and a box of noodles. I would suggest avoiding it at all cost. There are much better foods here.

I would suggest: Beignets and coffee for breakfast in the French Quarter, a po boy for lunch, and a seafood dinner at a New Orleans restaurant...perhaps Landry's.

Uh ... trust us on this "Hamburger Helper" thing, ER ... it doesn't really *help* the hamburger much. It certainly won't help your digestive system at all.

Hamburger Hider would have been a more apt name.

I fall somewhere between strict recipe-following and impromptu dishes. Even if I start with a recipe, I usually make *some* changes to it. A nice vegetable soup intrigues me, but I feel like having some meat, so I put the meat *in* the soup. Or I'll add extra vegetables to it. Or maybe it would seem heartier with a potato.
Or beans.

I've been known to have spaghetti with baked beans.

If I just want a light lunch, a cup of vegetable soup and half a turkey sandwich and a dab of cole slaw gives a nice sense of contrast.
It also covers a lot of the food groups.

In the summer, I can make supper from hommus on bread slices and a nice salad.

There are about a million different ways to make minestrone, and they're all subtly different one from another.

"Hamburger Hurler", perhaps?

Actually, I rather like the stroganoff flavor. It's an occasional guilty pleasure of mine. For goodness sake, don't try the nasty potato stroganoff version they make.

Speaking of nasty potatoes.....

I'm writing a story about sinister potatoes that form a collective deep underground, and plot to destroy farms everywhere.

I love soup, all kinds(except the ones with stuff I'm allergic to).
Hummus and blue corn chips is nice with a salad.

I have no intention of trying the potato stroganoff version of anything.

I think the best cooks always work with a bit of "this and that". Cookbook recipes act as a jumping off point and basic guideline, but I always find myself improvising and making the dish better according to my tastes and what ingredients I have on hand.

Yum! I packed blue corn chips today with my lunch ... they were scrummy.

I improvise a lot when I cook.

Paul, are you the King of the Potato People?

King of the potato people? Moi?

I haven't developed the story line enough to determine whether my "potatoes" will have a king. Most likely, they will be the like the Borg on "Star Trek."

"Resistance is futile"
"You will be assimilated"

Oooo, potato assimilation..... that can't be good.....

The King of the Potato People was a bit from the episode of Red Dwarf titled "Quarantine", one of my favorites.

We have a new cable channel, Spike the network for men. Apparently that means no less than two hours of Star Trek spin offs every day, but not the original Star Trek...that's on the Sci Fi channel.

As a certified, bona fide, card-carrying guy, I have to admit that I've watched my share of Star Trek programs and movies over the years.
But enough is enough. Can't they tell when the well is dry, and there are no decent story ideas left?

So, not even men are a guaranteed audience for those trekkie spinoffs.

Hmm, "Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated"...or scalloped, or mashed, or served baked with bacon bits, sour cream & chives...