h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sleep well.

Well, isn't that just like everyone to go to sleep before I arrive

*rumages through the fridge*

What?! NO MCLURCHERS???

*faint*


*thud*

Sorry, Michele, I removed all the extra
McLurchers to make room for Lady Scott's
whoopie pies.....

Now, where did I put the McLurchers that
I took out?

*mumbles over and over again "No McLurchers?! How can that be? No McLurchers??"*

But look on the bright side, Michele.
If you had been looking for whoopie
pies, you'd be ecstatic now.

*Sneaks a McLurchers out of the back room and slips it to Michele*

Oooo! Lurcher! There's a couple of s on your u page.

Sort of got the bit between my teeth now..no tellin` where it will all end up..

*Restocks bar with two zillion bottles of McLurchers*

Defy anyone to get thro` that lot

2 zillion bottles?
That's impressive!
And I don't even drink it, unless Hell
is frozen over, or there's a Polish Pope.


Wait a minute, there really is a Polish Pope.



Well, maybe just a sip, then.

*revives quickly due to the magical aura of 2 zillion McLurchers bottles present in the room*

to the fridge...

pops open a cold bottle of McLurchers and guzzles it down...
"guzzle, gulp, gulp, guzzle"

Ahhhhh...

I must have experienced a McLurchers withdrawal

I thought there was a McLurchers invasion.

`Ning all and where applicable

It may have slipped your mind Paul, but I did go to considerable expense, and extreme effort to produce a non-alcoholic drink especially for you. McLurchless is the name.
Have I had any recognition of my efforts? NO!
Any thanks? NO!
Have you even tried it? Apparently not!

So be it.. that`s the last time I try to accommodate non drinkers.
*retires in a huff*
*Re-emerges with a triple measure of the really good stuff for Michele..a truly deserving individual*

My sweet

Oh.

I was just kidding, Lurcher.
I did try McLurchless, and it was great.

Oh, all right then

"To "lurch" or not to "lurch" that is the question isn't it?. Thank goodness the McLurcher brewery has thought of all contingincies and made several different brews both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Now whether I wish to imbibe or refrain I just keep McLurchers or McLurchless in the fridge and I'm ready for all occaisions "

"McLurchers - h2g2's beverage of choice"

*steps out from in front of the cameras*

How was that Lurcher dear? I can do another "take" if you think it needs a little more "zing"...

:: at the preceeding proceedings and figures he'd better set the record straight on one item in the b'log::

Paul, just for the record, Martha Stewart is NOT off cavorting with me. Shame on you for even suggesting it.

Thog, you are absolutely right.

She's cavorting with a different barbarian.


But she's got 64 clones, in case you change
your mind.

Oh! Well, that's alright then Maybe if I just wait down at the 18th green with my club in hand, one o' them clones'll walk by for me to soundly whomp and turn into a tasty new pot pie...


::strolls down to the 18th... has a seat on the grass, pulls a largish club from his Nev-R-Ful® Satchel, and waits::

Michele, that was a very professional job. Perhaps, next time, a touch more cleavage, and a bit more of a suggestive pout, but, overall, a fine performance
We can always do a ,ahem, rehearsal to polish up the finer points,in private, next time
As regards the Thog/Paul exchanges, I`m afraid they talk a language with which I am not familiar. Perhaps all will become clearer with the passage of time, or should I ever attain a state approaching sobriety. I always thought a satchel was something schoolkids carried their books in!

This calls for a wee dram, methinks,