h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(post-surgery)

How do you feel now?

Like a million bucks (poorer)!

So the racoon did well than?

Sure! ... Er... Is my heart supposed to be located in my butt?

Hmmm... *looks at notes* Ya, I'm pretty sure that's right. Just be careful sitting down and try to fall forward.

... Oh. And these veins *waves them in ff's face* Aren't they supposed to be inside the skin?

Don't wave those things in my face!
Anyways, what do you expect when you let a racoon operate on you?
It's your own fault.

But you... that is... I .... *twitch* YARGLE! *collapses*

I hope this doesn't wind up in court.

*idea*I know what to do!

*sends flowers and a card*

*bleeds*

Oh you're bleeding. Not to worry. We've trained a badger for this sort of thing.

*sends badger in to the room*

Just try not to put your fingers near her mouth.

*whimpers*

Awww... I don't think I can be mean to a kitty for so long.
*finds a proper and sends her in*

Why'd you have to whimper and make me feel guilty?

Because exploiting guilt and pity is what I do.

Oh, well in that case...

*sends badger back in and gives the nurse a huge needle to use*

*resist... crying... kitty...*

*sigh* Alright.

*finds a proper and to fix things*

I know I'll regret this later. Curse my love of animals!

*sniff*

Ya, ya. *sulks*