h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where is my dessert? I haven´t had a decent steak with wow-wow sauce for ages... and little sporkocattus also needs a little snack...

I don't think it would be good if Sporkocattus ate his godfather.

let's try him on my favourite.......here sporky sweetie try these snails in garlic butter!!!......he seems to like them.......what a sophisticated little thing he's becomming already............good boy.........ouch...he didn't seem to like me patting him on the head........how do I discipline him, Evil?

You can say "No" sternly to him... i guess.

No! no! no!! Sporky...........Yeah that seems to work.........the thingite in him understands that alright..

Hey! The Evil Army is a very disciplined millitary force trained to precision!

...wouldn't that just lead to him protesting for over 70000 posts...?

?

...he is still only a baby

Whats his growth rate? One year = a year?

yes but so were the Thingites when that convo started...

Touche.

because of his unique genetic make-up nobody can be sure of his growth rate.........I think he's already grown a bit.....

* flies in carrying sporkocattus in a special designed baby chair tied to her back*

So, cutiepie, jump out!

* puts sporkocattus in his sporkcradle and starts to rock it slowly*

sleep little darling, sleep little one
soon we´ll go back hunting tiddeli pom

*sporkocattus falls asleep...*

He´s been such a good boy, killed his first cow today...

,,,,,clever sporkocattus,,,,,,,,,,I hope it was an organic cow

Of course, naturally concieved, fed by the milk of its own mother. After that only eaten unsprayed grass and hay. Well exercised, never touched BBQ-sauce..

Thats wonderful.......It would be aweful if he got a taste for McDonalds!

Good (insert favourite deity) NO! Pure meat for the little darling. - and some garlic buttered snails...

I wonder if I can teach him to throw flames...?

Normally I might throw my hands up in horror..but seeing as it's you queen.....have a go........It might be quite a useful skill.......it's certainly come in handy for the thingites for you to do it

Right. Now we have to hide this thread from the godfather to keep him from being horrified at the prospect of Sporkocattus eating him...