h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A tortise you say ...& I thought s were prevalent

A tortise you say ...& I thought s were prevalent

I have with me ,in ths very room , the very venerable "Bertie"

Bertie is, if you do no know, the famed Galapagos Tortise brought to Scientific eminence by the late Sir Charles Darwin. Bertie now resides in luxury in Queensland in the astounded presence of Steve and Terri Irwin , who are also here.

Bertie has been learning the lingo. Say something Bert.

Steve-'Hang on, I'll just get 'im out. There, isn't 'e bee-ewdiful!

Rosi- Errrm.

Bert- "CriKey"

Steve- "Ripper mate, "

Terri- "Oh my God Steve, it's a snake!!!" Grabs for the nearest
clublike object.

Steve- " Steady love , gentle." He puts Bertie away. "Crikey, she
nearly got me that time."

*notes that olive nibbling and taking the stuffing out of sacred olives not covered in civil liability insurance policy*

Catflap, before you make any FINAL decisions about that olive, please remember all the lawyer jokes..........

Imagine a happy-go-lucky catflap like yourself becoming embroiled in the murky doings of a minute green rugby-ball-shaped oily fruit

Just think of ......... think of anything other than olives.....


LadyN they were YOUR olives, you should subue all rebellious olives before putting them out next to the potatoe wedges

,I thought they`d all been eaten

the sacred stuffed one will shortly be exiting my digestive track


the salty green has been greviously nibbled and wants TO SUE !

er, "tract" (it's all the )

English!!*#@???

booze ! ( )

+english=h2g2!!

Oh, this is too hard!

Should I? Is this the direction i want to go in?

Oh, oh, woe is me!

james bond is very fond of his olives in his vodka martini cocktails shaken but not stirred with a slice of lemon and green olives.

popeyes is calledy olive oil.

kat

dum dum dum di-di dum dum

ee my name is bond, james bond licensed to kill.

kat

Bwa ha ha ha ha haa

I've been expecting you, Mr Bond.

*strokes a large white fluffy cat*

Oh that cat really annoys me! Putting up with that smarmy human handling it all the time. I think it's disgraceful. It would do cat-dom a favor by taking a big chomp on that nasty man's hand. (It also would help Mr. Bond too.)

Imagine... Bwa ha ha ha haa Ouch!
Darn cat!

Hermi,

Long time no sqwaark!!!

Where have you been?

Out caterwauling on the dustbins 'til the early hours, I reckon.

*Runs by, chased by an olive who wants an answer from me NOW*

Hiiiiiiiiii Hermi!

I've been out caterwaulin' in the mountains of Wyoming. Very fun but I missed all of you. What's this about evil olives? Need me to pounce on a few?

ee then you do not mind me smoking this cigarette - lights cigarette then a dart missile flies out of the cigarette into the glass shattering and causing chaos. bond then gets into fisti cuffs.

kat