h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I haven't kept copies of anything, so I'd have to go through the thread looking for them just the same as anyone else would! I'm just making this up as I go along with occasional back-checking to try and keep some continuity.

Star Trek Voyager is lost
The Holo Doctor does not have much hair.
Star Trek The Next Generation
Captain Jean-Luc Picard
does not have much hair.
24th century still no cure for baldness.

kat

Tilk sounds like a Vulcan.
Does Tilk think he is a Vulcan?
I am a Vulcan?
Are you Vulcan?
I am a Betazoid?
I am a Bajorian?

Live Long and Prosper
Long Live and Peace


kat

Maybe it doesn't need to be "cured" as it has become a trait which is admired.

of course! the parrot is on Earth, not Pluto!

I'd like to begin this post by saying "BLING CLOM BESRECUF"

Now that the formalities are over, I'd like to welcome you all to
this, the 2326th entry in this epic quest to make the world stand on it's head and shut up for a bit.

I've never met you, but I ave a feeling the feeling is mutual.

Rosebuds, garlic and peach schnapps to you all

His Majesty the great imposter

Alex duke of Cumberland Sausages.

V.C. D.B. G.B.H.

Cumberland Sausages? Those are good (Nonsense)

When a Parrot meets a Fork

It's plain to see which one will talk

But which one has the sharpest prong?

I say - The Fork! (I may be wrong).

As a lifelong fan of Spike Milligan, I rigidly believe that nonsense can conquer all evil.

Failing that, nothing unnerves an evil bloke more than people laughing at him.

(Darth Vader may have been mighty in the force, but he never found out who wrote "PREMATURE LOVER" on the back window of his TIE fighter.)

I always contend
The wound of a spoon
Is harder to mend

It can dig into skin
It hurts quite a bit
Especially when there's a fork on a chair
And you sit

of the top of 's head...

yeah, Nathianiel sits on a spike, I sit on Nathianiel.

Two spikes would be an extravangance.

A Fork on a chair
Is a thing I can't bear!
But - when I want to eat,
(be it Parrot, or meat)
There is nothing so sweet
As a Fork - Being There!

I like to eat
with knife,fork or spoon
but when no-one is looking
I just stuff food in my mouth with my hands

(sorry I couldn't get it to ryhme)

There is nothing more rude
Than stuffing down food
With Fingers and thumbs
(my Goodness! The Crumbs)
Except , when you're late
For a Very hot date
When the Forks, perchance, deem
That you meant to be clean
But your need for some haste
Means that manners, displaced,
Will be refound, when you
Take your date to the zoo.

I'm eating an ice cream cone
While sitting alone
Is it still rude
Is it still lewd?
If a man is chewing
(With no one viewing)
With his mouth open...
Is it a sin?

(If a tree falls and no one is there to hear it, does it really fall?)

the philosopher

Parrot-spotting reports please......


I'm off to Okinawa to follow up a lead

He realised that there was no need
To follow up only one lead
Other places had futons
And perhaps soup with croutons
(he was now very hungry indeed).

YES !

The parrot’s flying all over the place
Perhaps he just went ‘cos be needed more space
Nevers seems to go be bed
Good ! ‘cos he’s needed on this thread


(I just cannot "get into" the limerick rhythm, arrrgggg)
(If at first you don't succeed, read SEF's .... they're the best)

The parrot packed up a small bag
with some snacks and some pills for jet lag
not forgetting his towel
he set out on the prowl
for small futons like those in his mag.