h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The man, much chastened at first, continued with his Guide research. Eventually he mostly forgot his traumatic experience - although he could never look at food smileys in quite the same way again. They seemed to be looking back at him in a too-knowing manner which made him wince. The hat felt better after a dry-clean but soon decided the man was too uncool to be seen with and left with another researcher at a meet. The ACE continued with her knitting, satisfied that another good deed had been done. The members of the new subterranic army continued with their nefarious plotting and the thread was soon buried under a pile of other ones. For some reason which was never explained to new recruits, most were labelled "bring your own hat". The incident was all but forgotten by everyone as the new army became the old army, the previous home page was deserted and another new one sprang up to take its place.

Meanwhile, out on the posts and forums of Hootown, the tomato smiley was not so forgiving. It remembered the way it had nearly been set alight and then been cruelly discarded. It seethed. It also remembered exactly where to find the embarrassing thread. It had been dropped right outside and trodden all the way in! It popped a few pips as bookmarks and plotted its revenge...

Thanks for all the fish

The fish thank you too, except for the trout who doesn't like all the hanging about

Fussy old trout. I wish someone would tell it that that hat really doesn't go with those shoes....

I went and looked in my loony bin to see if I have any ideas for being loony. I then went and visited the funny farm to get my funny food.

kat

Baaaaaaaa

Humbug!

Well an hour had gone by and nothing was happening. Spook will be so upset that we're letting him down.

I think we've already overtaken the cult of nighthoover though. [runs off to check]

I last posted 4 days ago.

I last posted a few seconds ago.

[runs back in] Oh yes, ages ago. D'ya miss me?! I was gone so long an owl appeared. [waves at the owl]

Something went very wrong with those smileys. I suppose it must have been my typing. I seem to be getting a lot of wrong letters. Do you think the Earth was destroyed and replaced while I was away and now I'm one key out of synch with my keyboard?

I'm only briefly appearing now and again... too much to do, too much to do!!

I think the nighthoover cultists will be even happier that you've returned... (I'll _never_ let this one drop!)

~

What about a Nightdyson.

The again have taken over and decreed that should be banned and anyone found not being should be arrested. All boring committee meetings, boring board meetings and housew*rk should be banned. Everyone should have a party everyday and dress up as clowns and going around throwing at each other.

kat

Excellent! I've always thought that ness wasn't worth it... Look at me, I've not seen my wife for nearly three weeks and I'm still ing (just)...

Actually, come to think of it... I'm all alone here, the flat needs cleaning, my report deadline looms, wedding arrangements need making...

But I have and I have the hope of my fantastic future with Nitina, so I can never be ! (How can you tell I've just seen Shawshank Redemption again?)

~

and skools must be shut down.

Well naturally - people must have skools with fastening lids. Otherwise all the contents might escape.

Monkeys most live in human society with the pigeons and the rats!!!