Journal Entries
Learning French
Posted Dec 29, 2007
The other day I began learning French. For Christmas, my grandmother gave me a learning program with CDs, CD ROMs and a book. I'm also planning on taking French when I go to the community college next month. So yesterday and the day before I was listening to the audio stuff on my iPod and reading the reference book, along with a few other French language-related books we happen to have around. The only problem is that the CD ROMs are for Windows - I have an iMac. So the only way to utilise the main part of the whole program is to inconveniently go to my grandma's house whenever I get the chance to use it on her Windows computer (a piece of crap which I utterly despise). That's what I'm going to do today.
And what's cool is that my sister is also learning French at the moment, though she's been doing it for several months now, so she can help me out sometimes.
In case you're care, Christmas was pretty nice. Though on C. Eve and C. Day I felt like puking pretty much the entire time. Like, seriously, I should have controlled my fudge and cookie intake. If I got pulled over by the cops and had to take a Fudgilizer Test, my Blood Fudge Level would have been WAY over the legal limit. Then the day after C. I decided to stop eating, and also, for some reason, to stop drinking coffee. So I felt like crap and had a headache all day. But now I'm back on the wagon. Or is it off the wagon? I can never remember which.
So anyway, my new toys include a digital camera (I still need to buy a memory card, I hope to do that today) from my parents. It also takes videos, apparently with sound, so you might be seeing more of me on YouTube. Also, from my grandmother, an Arthur Dent-like dressing gown, from my aunt, a Mr. Rogers-like cardigan and a box of tea, and from my uncle, guitar accessories.
PS: What's the point of muffins? I mean, they're not really very good at all, just tiny little cakes that are usually dry and nasty. I mean, you're in a coffee shop picking out a delicious baked good to go with your Triple Grande Mochacino Frappalatte Espresso Supreme, and what kind of idiot would bypass all the doughnuts, cheesecake, cinnamon rolls and chocolate cake and get a freaking MUFFIN? Muffins suck.
PPS: Except for those lemon muffins with the poppy seeds. Those are pretty good.
Discuss this Journal entry [8]
Latest reply: Dec 29, 2007
At Christmastime, my thoughts turn to vandalism
Posted Dec 22, 2007
Lately, I have had a sudden urge to commit vandalism. After all, being a teenager, it seems only natural. Let me assure you, however, I am certainly no hooligan, punk, thug, or delinquent by any means. Rather, I have little tolerance for such behaviour. But from what I hear, all teenagers are expected to dabble in some type of at least slightly illegal behaviour at some point or another. So if I actually had any friends, I would probably want to get together and go out in the middle of the night and vandalize Christmas decorations. After all, getting together and committing petty crimes is what friends are for. Or at least I guess, I don't really know. But if I would actually vandalize anything, this would be the perfect time of year to do so, what with all the unprotected Yuletide yard ornaments that are just crying out to be spray painted, stolen, or, in the case of those stupid inflatable snowmen, Santas etc, shot out with a BB gun. Like, seriously, today while I was driving to my grandmother's house, I saw, now listen closely, an inflated nativity scene. (!!!!!!) Come on, people, those chintzy plastic light-up nativity scenes are hideous enough, but inflated??? I always thought the snowmen or Grinches or Homer Simpsons in Santa Suits were dumb enough.
Another Christmas-realated thought: Maybe it's just me, but it seems that the whole Santa Claus thing is getting a bit old. If you want my my opinion, we should elect a new Christmas icon of generosity, magic and Yuletide cheer. My nomination? I'll give his initials and you can guess who I'm thinking of.
S.U.P.E.R.M.A.N.
That's right, Superman, the Man of Steel himself, would, in my opinion, be the perfect Christmas icon. After all, he is the defender of Justice and the American Way, so why shouldn't he also deliver gifts to all the children of the world at Christmas?? I mean, seriously people, Superman is way cooler than Santa. Just look at the statistics:
Does Santa have X-Ray vision?
Is Santa virtually indestructible in every way?
Can Santa fly without the assistance of a sleigh and reindeer?
Can Santa leap over buildings?
Can Santa run hundreds of miles an hour?
Does Santa have lungs that are capable of blowing with super human force?
Does Santa have bulging muscles and rock hard abs, giving him super strength?
Can Santa fly into outer space, circle the earth at such a speed that it temporarily causes the earth change its direction of rotation, thus turning back time so he can save loved ones that had just been crushed to death in a car that had been hit by gigantic falling boulders?
The answer to all of those questions is, of course, a resounding "No". The only real power Santa has is superhuman eating capabilities. Also, he apparently smokes like, four packs of Luckys a day, so that definitely makes him a poor role model for children. I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
PS: A non-Christmas-related thought: If aliens ever invade Earth with un-peaceful intentions, they are gonna Screw. Us. Up. Like, seriously, they will almost certainly have far superior weapons, and will probably be generally invincible. I mean, even if they are like inbred Space Rednecks, with a beat up, rusty spaceship (think the car in 'Dukes of Hazard') with fuzzy dice and racy bumper stickers, Planet Zorgon confederate flag and old Space Shotguns and Space Shovels, they will still have no problem beating the crap out of/harvesting/enslaving us. Pretty scary when you think about it.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 22, 2007
At Christmastime, my thoughts turn to vandalism
Posted Dec 22, 2007
Lately, I have had a sudden urge to commit vandalism. After all, being a teenager, it seems only natural. Let me assure you, however, I am certainly no hooligan, punk, thug, or delinquent by any means. Rather, I have little tolerance for such behaviour. But from what I hear, all teenagers are expected to dabble in some type of at least slightly illegal behaviour at some point or another. So if I actually had any friends, I would probably want to get together and go out in the middle of the night and vandalize Christmas decorations. After all, getting together and committing petty crimes is what friends are for. Or at least I guess, I don't really know. But if I would actually vandalize anything, this would be the perfect time of year to do so, what with all the unprotected Yuletide yard ornaments that are just crying out to be spray painted, stolen, or, in the case of those stupid inflatable snowmen, Santas etc, shot out with a BB gun. Like, seriously, today while I was driving to my grandmother's house, I saw, now listen closely, an inflated nativity scene. (!!!!!!) Come on, people, those chintzy plastic light-up nativity scenes are hideous enough, but inflated??? I always thought the snowmen or Grinches or Homer Simpsons in Santa Suits were dumb enough.
Another Christmas-realated thought: Maybe it's just me, but it seems that the whole Santa Claus thing is getting a bit old. If you want my my opinion, we should elect a new Christmas icon of generosity, magic and Yuletide cheer. My nomination? I'll give his initials and you can guess who I'm thinking of.
S.U.P.E.R.M.A.Ni
That's right, Superman, the Man of Steel himself, would, in my opinion, be the perfect Christmas icon. After all, he is the defender of Justice and the American Way, so why shouldn't he also deliver gifts to all the children of the world at Christmas?? I mean, seriously people, Superman is way cooler than Santa. Just look at the statistics:
Does Santa have X-Ray vision?
Is Santa virtually indestructable in everyway?
Can Santa fly without the assistance of a sleigh and reindeer?
Can Santa leap over buildings?
Can Santa run hundreds of miles an hour?
Does Santa have lungs that are capable of blowing with super human force?
Does Santa have bulging muscles and rock hard abs, giving him super strength?
Can Santa fly into outer space, circle the earth at such a speed that it temporarily causes the earth change its direction of rotation, thus turning back time so he can save loved ones that had just been crushed to death in a car that had been hit by gigantic falling boulders?
The answer to all of those questions is, of course, a resounding "No". The only real power Santa has is superhuman eating capabilities. Also, he apparently smokes like, four packs of Luckys a day, so that definitely makes him a poor role model for children. I rest my case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
PS: A non-Christmas-related thought: If aliens ever invade Earth with unpeaceful intentions, they are gonna Screw. Us. Up. Like, seriously, they will almost certainly have far superior weapons, and will probably be generally invincible. I mean, even if they are like inbred Space Rednecks, with a beat up, rusty spaceship (think the car in 'Dukes of Hazard') with fuzzy dice and racy bumper stickers, Planet Zorgon confederate flag and old Space Shotguns and Space Shovels, they will still have no problem beating the crap out of/harvesting/enslaving us. Pretty scary when you think about it.
Discuss this Journal entry [5]
Latest reply: Dec 22, 2007
Santa's choice cigarettes
Posted Dec 22, 2007
If I had a super power, it would be X-ray vision. Not only to look through women's clothing, but to see inside candy when someone offers me something out of a box of chocolates. That way, I can pick a chocolate with something really delicious in the middle, and won't end up having to eat something nasty like coconut or almond or maple cream. As someone once said, "My mama always said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha gonna get." With X-ray vision, not anymore.
Also, it would be awesome if I can do that thing like Darth Vader, when he chokes people with The Force. Then I could a) intimidate store clerks so they will give me a discount even if my coupon has expired and b) to entertain myself by choking people sitting across the room.
Green is overrated. Everyone is like, "Oh, green is my favourite colour! Green looks good with everything!" Well, shut up, people. Green isn't as great as what people like to think. You know what's a great colour? Blue.
Also, the song 'Amazing Grace' is overrated. Everyone one is like, "Oh! 'Amazing Grace' is my favourite song! It's so moving, and I start crying whenever I hear it!" Well, shut up, people, it's not that great a song. You know what's a cool song? 'Secret Agent Man'.
You know what really annoys me? That, like, 20 minute intrumental bit in 'Light My Fire' by The Doors. I mean, it's an awesome song, but it's way too long.
William Shakespeare is a talentless hack.
I've decided, with possible exceptions if it's something of really particular interest, to not watch any more movies from before 1960. I hate really old movies. They're pretty much all badly acted and written, and they're always exactly the same. Also, they never have any bad words in them.
The most important quality to look for when you're shopping for a boat is to make sure that the boat floats. Because if you shell out several thousand bucks for a boat and it ends up not floating properly, you're kind of screwed, because floating is kind of an integral part of the boating experience. After all, was it not Oscar Wilde who once said, "If a boat doesn't float, then it's just a car. Except a car without wheels. Which is equally as useless, so I guess my witty saying doesn't really make much sense. Also, have cars even been invented yet? Christ, I've had too much to drink."
I've decided to stop combing my hair. Combing is for the weak and foolish.
I can't believe how fat Elton John has gotten.
http://snarfd.com/2007/12/19/santa-smokes-lucky-strike/
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c178/timjohenez/bear/sign-youcannotpass.jpg
Discuss this Journal entry [4]
Latest reply: Dec 22, 2007
Catch 22, or conundrum, or paradox or whatever
Posted Nov 30, 2007
I hate and love my job at the same time. Well, it would seem that I mostly hate it, but then I hate myself for hating it because really it's a great, ideal job, and yet sometimes I hate it anyway.
(I work in a library, mostly shelving returned books, and occasionally other odd jobs.)
The reasons I hate it sometimes is that, like any job, it can be frustrating sometimes. It can be annoying when I have to clean up piles of books that people leaving laying around when I have craploads of other books I'm busy with at the moment. It's annoying when I'm trying to put a book in the correct place on the shelf and most of the other books there are out of order somehow. It's annoying in the children's department, where little kids, instead of enjoying a story about Muffin McFuzzybunns and the Rainbow of Lollipops, derive pleasure from pulling books off the shelves, shuffling them up on the shelves, and probably sneezing on them. It's annoying when I'm trying to push the cart between the rows and there is someone standing there and I have to take a detour. It's annoying when I am trying to put a book away and the shelf is entirely packed and I have to rearrange the entire library to fit one book on the shelf. It irks me sometimes when I feel like I'm the only employee who does real, physical work, when everyone else has nice desk jobs where they get to sit down, and even just read when it's not busy.
BUT the reasons this is a great job that make it different from jobs that a lot of people have:
I don't have a manager breathing down my neck at all times to make sure I'm doing to job according to their strict, personal method.
It's a pretty comfortable, layed back, pleasant working enviroment.
In my position at least, I generally don't have to deal with patrons, other than to maybe direct an 80 year old lady to the large print Danielle Steeles.
Most of the people I work with are pretty cool and easy to get along with.
I'm part time, so I only work two-three days a week.
I mean, seriously, why am I complaining? Where else could I work? Taco Bell, where I could be in charge of refilling the condiment trays? This is a great job!
Also, I hate working Thursdays. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.
Another annoying thing that sometimes, like last night, I lay awake till like, two AM, thinking about my job. Maybe not necessarily the things I hate, but just in general. I'm trying to sleep!! I'm off until Wendsday! But I can't get it out of my mind. I also resent that I pretty much never leave the house except to go to work. I have no life, no friends, no other errands, appointments, nothing. I'm stuck at my house with my parents, bored, depressed. And you know what's funny? When I'm out of my mind with boredom and depression, I CAN'T WAIT to go back to work! Only four more days away! Finally, I can get out here and do something with myself.
I'm sorry for ranting and unloading my problems like this, but I'm just increasingly neurotic and insecure these days, and I just need to write this down somewhere. You don't have to reply to this by the way, but then hardly anyone ever replies to my journals anyway.
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/funny-pictures-crosslegged-cat.jpg
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Latest reply: Nov 30, 2007
Wyatt
Researcher U1779623
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