h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[I have to head out into a winter storm tomorrow in advance of Thursday's Thanksgiving get-together with family. So, I'm posting two-days' worth of journals early.]




Chapter 27

For once, my subconscious came through with flying colors. Even before I opened my eyes, I knew they would be pleased once they could see where we were. I smelled fresh pineapple and oleander blossoms. I heard a bird cry that resembled the entire brass section of a symphony orchestra. "Maui!" I exclaimed, delighted to be back in one of my most favorite places.

To be specific, the ship was sitting in the empty parking lot of what was once a pineapple farm in Maui's flat central section. On one horizon loomed a range of hills that seemed perpetually obscured by clouds -- one of the rainiest spots on the planet. On the opposite horizon was Mount Haleakala, the home of the exotic Silversword flower and a favorite spot for hang gliding.

The pineapple farm was currently inactive. A "For sale" sign hung on the front door of the office building where business had once been transacted. Tired of being cooped up in the ship, most of the crew decided to stretch their legs by walking along the fence that bordered the pineapple fields. What we saw on the other side was a field largely bereft of pineapples. Here and there we could see bits of ash and the occasional charred twig.

"It's like that on a lot of islands around here," said a caretaker who happened to be collecting branches. "Ever since that volcano blew, stuff has been raining down on us."

Pieces of the One Tree and its offspring! I looked at some of the twigs, hoping that one or two sprout if someone stuck them in the soil and gave them some TLC. None looked viable, but if we combed the whole farm, maybe.... On a whim, I asked the caretaker if he knew how much the owner was asking for the place.

"I don't know the exact figure, but I hear it's around three million," the caretaker said.

I huddled with Uncle Floyd for a few minutes and then brought in the rest of the crew for a general discussion. Within a couple of days I held the deed for the place, and by the end of the week we had unloaded all the pine cones and planted the saplings in rows, giving pride of place to the Oracle Tree.

I was still uneasy about Pete Surreal, though. "What if he tracks us down here and comes after us?" I asked Uncle Floyd at supper one night when we were again eating a dessert of surplus pineapple.

"He would need to go back to Maht Surreala and track the location of our Wormhole generator," Floyd explained. "Then he would make a new generator with our new location on it."

Just then there was a knock at the door. It was Andrea Doria, back from her heart transplant and able to walk now! "Look what I found at the edge of the field," she said, holding up a small evergreen branch.

"Welcome back," we all exclaimed

"We need to find other branches like this and propagate them," Andrea said, sitting at the nearest table. "Who's with me?"

"Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone," Uncle Floyd whispered to me. Aloud, he said, "I've retired from expeditions, Andrea, but I give you the ship and some funding. If you happen to pass near the One Tree's island -- or what's left of it -- I'd like you to have someone toss this across the vortex and onto the reef." he held up the Wormhole Generator.

Much of the crew went off with Andrea, but some of us stayed to tend the trees and plan viable businesses in the front office. Ulysses wanted to start a French bakery. Penny wanted to return to the one she had near Times Square. Uncle Floyd, who still had some of the pizzas that I swiped from Maht Sureala, had a plan to have them analyzed so he could duplicate the recipes. "I want to try starting a pizza place again," he explained with a twinkle in his eye.

[Amy P]

I was confused for a minute in my tired state I'd read "decided to stretch their legs" as "detached their heads"

Sounds like a lovely place to retire and grow trees and eat pizza!

Pizza cheese and pineapple a perfect combination.

I suddenly get a hankering for Toast Hawaii

I used Maui for a locale because I've been there, and can describe it fairly easily. It also matters that the Arborvilla species is likely a tropical one, and I haven't been to many tropical places.