h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you need percussion, open a can of pickled beats.

I should probably keep my keyboard hidden from the organ grinder, no?

I really don't want to know about what you folks do with your organs....

to which the standard answer is:

"hey, it's my organ and i wash it as often and as fast as i like!"

drink plenty of alcoholit'll shock the hell out of them if your cremated - whoosh!!!!!!

too bad I won't be able to see their faces when the crematorium blows up

a friend who's a fireman, said that all newbies are taken to a crem', to see what happens to a body in a fireas what they might see during attending one and most panic! by saying he/she's still alive, because as the heat gets higher, the bodies start to sit up

With all due respect, Prof, telling Pierce to drink plenty of alcohol is like urging a monkey to eat bananas.

I've just had a bottle of whisky bought yesterdayI'm going to join Pierce tonight

I've seen a lot of bodies, dead ones I hasten to add, and the others as well They do indeed sit up from time to time, and fart and sigh It's hardly likely they are going to jump up and say "Boo" is it? The soul has long since departed and al we are left with is the shell of the person it was.

I think I'm alive (technically, anyway ), but there are times when corpses show more movement than I do.