h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*watches them all looking very silly*

Batty - that was quite impressive, good job I had my cam-corder handy to capture it for posterior.... SORRY posterity....



Bassman

...*hasn't time to laugh at Batty's Holy Tail as she herself is hanging onto 'Patch's' tail and being dragged aound the pasture...* HORSE DUTTY!!!!
...*being dragged deathly close to the fence wonders why the rest have yet to pick their hose and go after it...*OOFFFF...
*tumble weed...* YEEEEE-DOGGIESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!...*refuses to let go...*

*stands up on her horse and wiggles the Holy Tail at Bassman for posterity*

*gets out camera*

...*begins to pull herself up by the tail, as it were...sees Batty's stunt on the back of the horse...refusuing to be out done...digs her nails into the backside of the horse so she can pull herself up...*...*the horse kicks Pandora...she flies through the air...over Bassman...beyond Lizzy...and lands in the swap with a dull THUD...*s

*runs over to her*



are you ok?

*watches Pan's stunt and holds up a scorecard with a 9.5 on it*

...*sits up...looks at Batty...* ...*smiles at Lizzy...*s

to Batty ROFL!!!!

...*feeling rather cold and damp, Pandora opens her eyes to see everyone standing around looking at her...* Ooooo I had a DREAM! And you were there, and YOU were there and so were YOU! ...*realizes she's lying in the mud, sans clothes...*
Oh, this can't be good...*takes Bassman's hand which make his vidio recorder start to slip off his shoulder...he grabs for the camera and let's Pandora flop back into the mud...*
cover your ears Lizzy...
I could use a drink just now...*takes the outreached hands...once again trusting her 'Fan Club'...yells to Lizzy
that it's okay to unplug her ears now...*No LIZZYI SAID:
NOW...NOT COW!! UNPLUG YO...*pulls one of Lizzy's finger's from her ear and tells Lizzy that she can stop singing...*
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA
What say we picnic down at the river? Hey, look at me! I have gotten a $300 mud wrap for free!...*limps off toword the river mumbling something under her breath about horses and score cards...*

a picnic would be great

*removes jacket and hands it to Pandora to cover her mud pack*



Bassman

Thank you Bassman...I'll have your jacket cleaned for you.
Come on then Lizzy...race you to the blanket! ~~~~~~~~

...*ahead awaits a HUGE basket full of all things good and yummy...laid out in a row are several dresses and chaps made of buck skin...* Here Lizzy, this one is sort of peach colored...It'll be great with your loverly face!!! Oh, and Batty, here's an outfit with a slit in the back for your tail...and Basser's here's one that looks as though a Biker type Indian might have worn it...picks thru the rest and sets out a skirt and tiny top with fringe for herself...* Don't want "The Girls" to somthercate!
Let's really work up an apt...apit...appit...let's make ourselves hungry with a swim in the river!...*tosses Bassman's jacket onto a tree branch and wades in the cold water...* How refreshing!

That looks very refreshing, mind if I join you?

*dives in to find the water only just deep enough*

that was a close one....



Bassman

SPLASH!!!! Well, THAT was a rude awakening! BBRrrrrrrr......*dives in and begins to splash Bassman with her famous two handed wave action whoosh...*
hahahahahahahahaha
Come on in!! The water's warm!! Honest!

...*begins to rub the mud out of her hair...starting at the bottom and working her way up...just as the horse groomer taught her to do...*Strangers in a tub...exchanging bubbles... they began to ruuuuuubbbb...eachother bARRRRRRRRe...la-de-
da-de-daaaa...

*looks at the outfit Pan offered her* did ya have to paint a target around the tail??

*selects a buttery soft doeskin skirt and snips a hole in the butt for the Holy Tail, then selects a nice swatch of matching doeskin to tie up her own girls with*sort of the cavewoman sex kitten look, don't ya think?

*snags a bit of cheese and a glass of chilled homemade muscadine wine* mmmmm.. yummy!

I rather liked the target! ...*wonders if the hunters will still be able to pick Batty off...*

Ya' know Batty, if you swim in your skins, they will shrink nicely!
Fit like a glove they will...*snickers...*yeah, someone else's glove! waaaaaall I'm still wondring why I only got a 9.5 instead of a perfect 10?!? But no hard feelings!!...*slowly moves away from Batty...and closer to Bassman...*

...*Batty beans Pandora on the head with a grape...or a rock...* Hey!! Well, at least you are a good shot! Okay! Ever think of playing woman's basketball? Guess not.

*Bassman looks around for something to wipe the water off his glasses with. The only thing within reach is Batty's doeskin skirt.*

I say Batty mind if I.... maybe not....

*decides to return the splashing that Pandora gave him in the first place*

Take that.... SPLOSH SPLASH Hey, this is washing that mud out of your hair just fine and dandy SPLASH SPLOSH



Bassman

Got conditioner? Here, do my teeth
Thanks! ...*reaches up and pulles a huge leaf from the tree next to the river...wipes Bassman's glasses...*Shiney!