h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Should be fun! Eternal party!

And I've always liked the heat

And no 'dress-code'


az

Oooh! Oooh censored thoughts ooh!

Is getting drunk a sin?

I hope so.

Can I run around in my birthday suit?

that was part of my censored thoughts idea

Ok, Let's go through this nice and slowly. God inspired the crusades and the suicide bombings in london, doesn't mean the people who commited those acts were right to do so. The letters of Paul were written by, suprisingly enough, Paul.

as for the food laws bit, let's have a look at the passage

'10 And he became hungry and desired to eat. But as they were making ready an ecstasy came upon him: 11 and he beholds the heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending, as a great sheet, [bound] by [the] four corners [and] let down to the earth; 12 in which were all the quadrupeds and creeping things of the earth, and the fowls of the heaven. 13 And there was a voice to him, Rise, Peter, slay and eat. 14 And Peter said, In no wise, Lord; for I have never eaten anything common or unclean. 15 And [there was] a voice again the second time to him, What God has cleansed, do not *thou* make common.'


Here god has commanded that Simon Peter kill and eat because he was hungry. He then questioned God and God, slightly irked by that, told him that the creatures provided had been made clean. It's fairly specific and doesn't give much rise to interpretation, that seems to be an argument you guys like to use

As for Exodus 21:22-25 I notice you left out the footnote, a fuller version of what you put would be

Exodus 21:22-25 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

22 "If men who are fighting hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely [a] but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman's husband demands and the court allows. 23 But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.

Footnotes:

a. Exodus 21:22 Or she has a miscarriage

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
NIV at IBS International Bible Society NIV at Zondervan Zondervan

or there's the revised standard version's

"When men strive together, and hurt a woman with child, so that there is a miscarriage, and yet no harm follows, the one who hurt her shall be fined, according as the woman's husband shall lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. 23 If any harm follows, then you shall give life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."

Or we have the Amplified Bible's

"22If men contend with each other, and a pregnant woman [interfering] is hurt so that she has a miscarriage, yet no further damage follows, [the one who hurt her] shall surely be punished with a fine [paid] to the woman's husband, as much as the judges determine.

23But if any damage follows, then you shall give life for life,

24Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

25Burn for burn, wound for wound, and lash for lash."

Or the classic KJV

"22If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine.

23And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life,

24Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

25Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."


Lying by omission, terrible

'Also Jesus revoked the food laws when he said it's not what goes into your mouth which contaminates it's what comes out of it which contaminates'

Good_News you should not quote out of context!
JC didn't revoke the food laws, read Matthew 15 where in answer to the question in verse 2. 'Why do thy disciples transgress the tradition of the elders? for they wash not their hands when they eat bread.', part of his reply is;
17. Do not ye yet understand, that whatsoever entereth in at the mouth goeth into the belly, and is cast out into the draught?
18. But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
20. These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.

So it was not a question of what we eat but how we eat! It seams JC was not bothered by hygiene.
As to the law, in Matthew 5 he says 'For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.'

Look, I'm invisible!


Anybody: How do we know when the Bible is being the literal word of God and when it's being a metaphor?


(They'll never answer.)

Nah, they'll claim it's all literal and ignore the difficult questions

"you're all going to hell if *ye* don't repent!!!"

It's getting a bit old.

And as an aside, threatening athiests to hell is like threatening to set the boogeyman on me - Ooh, scary

And I'd also like to point out that I am blinding (to use an UK expression) drunk, so I apologise in advance for any weird or stupid things I might say in the next few hours.

"We" don't need to know. That's what we have so many resident experts for.

<> (666)

Good point.

How or why would an atheist feel threatened by a god they don't actually believe exists?

*waves to anhaga*

You're not invisible, honey, but I think uncharted666 is right in that you'd just get the same old same old reply that ALL of the Bible is literal.

Well, maybe except for the bit about Jesus being all woolly and having hooves . . . am actually wondering how they would tapdance their way out of that one.


az

So, about the dietary restrictions:

I know Jesus rescinded them (just like the ones about not hanging out with whores and Sodomites [Beloved Disciple]), but, if He hadn't, would I be going to Hell for this very lovely bison sausage I'm breakfasting on? Would I have to have found a Levite to stuff the sausage? Where does one find a Levite? Would a man named Cohen be satisfactory? What if I put 'Suzanne' on the mp3 player while I had breakfast?

Anhaga, just resign yourself to the fact that you, and 6 billion minus 2 other souls are destined for hell. It's too late for us all

Let's face it, the only person suitable for Sam's heaven is Sam himself (and possibly Good News, although he does sympathise with catholics I think)

The rest of us are DOOMED!!!! DOOMED I tell ya!!

*hands fire extinguishers out to all in queue 2*

We elvolved from Apes .Simply cause we look similar .We branced off from the ape family .
You can see the same in many animal species .The wild cat in africa to the domestic cat in europe.

Gonna burn in hell for saying this

" And I don’t care how many theological books you have read or what degrees you have-the Bible is for the everyday person..... If you read the Hebrew, you will see..."

is it just me, or do those two statements lie uneasily alongside each other?

" that the language is in such a way that it is written as history. A metaphor makes no sense. If so, what does God mean when He says to dust you shall return?"

are you saying human beings are made of dust? If so, then we're talking about very different human beings than the kind I see on the planet today. Or would you prefer to ignore the evidence of biochemistry?

"Also, pray tell, when does the metaphor end and when does the history begin in Genesis?"

You know that bit where your god makes the earth stand still for a day to enable the Isrealites to defeat some town or other - you know he would have to break the laws of physics to do this, don't you? And if you say he can do that, and he has shown himself willing to do that to enable the Isrealites to kill people, why not do it to save people from starvation?

"Homosexuality is condemned MANY times, both in the Old and the New Testament (Leviticus 18:22-23, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:24-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9, 1 Timothy 1:9-10,)"

I don't know about the Hebrew BUT the same Greek word is used in both Corinthians and Timothy, and those are the only instances in the NT where it is used, so it's meaning is not clear. It is even more unclear in that no Greek versions of the OT of the time use the word to denote e.g. the Leviticus texts quoted, nor any other. And, of course, the Romans text is so vague so what it means is merely a matter of whatever the individual would like it to mean.

"so men can lie with men as with woman as the verse says"

I rather suspect that anal intercourse is not what most people mean when they think of "as a man lies with a woman". If it were, why would it be so frowned upon by Christian society; after all, if it were the common usage that would imply it is the preferred and commonest form of hetereosexual sex.

the point about biblical hermeneutics (interpretation to you non-Christians )is that, unless you are going to argue the books were written by lawyers who applied phrases not in the common sense they were used, but in some special, technical sense only used in that one place, then you're onto a lost cause before you start. For how can you access the occult meaning which is closed to others (including other Christians)? Of course, you could claim to have been given insight by your god, but that would mean that the bible was not written for the everyday person at all, unless they are also given insight - so it can only be read and understood by those Christians who are the chosen.

goodness me, aren't we getting back to some form of ultra-Calvinism here?

"Can I run around in my birthday suit?"

hey - you don't have to go to a christian hell to do that! Try a naturist camp!!

You're going to have to be specific with some dates when you refer to the Jews driving Palestinians off their land based on this claim; you're also going to have to be specific with what you think Palestine is, as there has never been a state or nation with that name. Be prepared for a history lesson based on verified and verifiable facts.

I'll be brief here: the Jews never drove Arabs off their land. For example, during the War of Independance, an Arab radio DJ was ORDERED to broadcast false messages that the Zionist military was raping women as they cleared out Arab villages by an officer of the Arab military. The plan did NOT result in other Arab forces swarming in to eliminate the Jews, it backfired and the villagers fled.

In 1919 when the Ottoman/Turk empire crumbled the whole middle east was cut up between Britain, France and the Arabs. It was the Brits who first used the term Palestine, and it referred NOT to the west bank, gaza or Isreal but to the whole area that is now Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Isreal. There were and had been a large Jewish population living in what is now Isreal for centuries. Under Ottoman rule they were left to their own and even had a voice in Ottoman government. The Arabs only became irate when Britain drew borders and established what was to be "a national home for Jews IN Palestine". This area that was carved out was agreed upon by Arabs; the land was mostly desert and not used by Arab fellahim [a fellah is a tiller of the soil] because they could not grow anything for lack of water. What wasn't desert was malarial swampland-another large area avoided by Arabs for obvious reasons. After 1920 when Jews migrated to the area and improved conditions by draining swamps and irrigating the soil the Arabs also moved in to take advantage of the better economy.

That's enough for now.

'How do we know when the Bible is being the literal word of God and when it's being a metaphor?'

It IS the Word of God but not always literal. When Jesus said He was a door, He did not mean He was made of wood.

Just read it normally. If it makes sense literally then it probably should be taken literally. And Genesis, as any (or at least most)Hebrew scholar will tell you , should be taken as histroy.