Journal Entries
I don't know how I feel...
Posted Mar 19, 2003
My ex (of 5 months) has not long left the house, came round to fit a faster modem but the cable wouldn't work with it! 
Whilst here, he told me he's seeing somebody new 
I'd asked for a huggle cuz he's fantastic for hugs, and he said "but we can't get up to any naughtys" (you know how it is when you end up sleeping with an ex a few times after breaking up!) so I said "that's cool! But just out of interest why not?".. "I'm seeing somebody new".. "Oh right!" (in a not too falsetto I'm cool with it voice!)
Felt like crying, but didn't! Don't know why, cuz I was the one that broke it up. But I think it's because although we'd broken up, I knew he'd be around for hugs (and a bit of the other) if I really needed it, but he'd be there for me, which makes things a lot easier when being single, but now he's not.
So I feel completely on my own.
In one way though I feel freer, if I've got somebody around for me there's no need to be on the lookout for new blokes. (A comfort blanket I guess!) But now that's not there, I feel more as though I should return the admiring glance I may get in the pub and be more willing to possibly date.
But I've never had a relationship resulting from dates, I've always ended up being with somebody that was a friend before, so I knew them really well. J (the ex) was the closest to that, but I'd been chatting to him for at least 6 months on the net previously and been chatting on the phone for a month before I met him so I'd got to know him pretty well and knew he wasn't a weirdo! But 'dating' someone from scratch scares me, why?, cuz I've never done it really!
I guess part of me thought maybe we'd get back together after he'd grown up a bit, he's good looking with good prospects(!). It seemed a shame to let him go, I didn't break it up for ages after I knew I had to cuz though I was unhappy for a fair while, on paper he's a good catch. I wondered tonight whether I'd done the right thing, but I know I did, cuz we weren't doing well together.
So I'm not quite sure how I feel. I guess it's bound to be 
. I just have to wait for it to stop being weird! Time solves all.
Q
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Latest reply: Mar 19, 2003
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAAAY..... (heyeeeyaaay)
Posted Mar 14, 2003
Sun is shining, the weather is green here I'm not 100% sure of the words but that's close enough 
IT'S A GORGEOUS DAY! AND IT'S FRIDAY! AND I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT!! 
This evening I shall be on the phone taking your 
for Comic Relief!
I'm lookin' fine, ma shadow's lookin' fine, we're all fine baby!
Queegle
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Latest reply: Mar 14, 2003
Attitude...
Posted Mar 10, 2003
I started listening to some motivational type tapes lent to me by a friend last night (think it's "Lead the field" by Earl Nightingale) and it's actually really good! Used mainly by go-getters in the workplace, it also applies well to life in general.
The first bit is mainly about Attitude; how the world and people reflect your attitude to it and them. People don't often set out in the day with a certain attitude, they wait till they meet people and then respond to that - so if you set out with a good attitude, people will respond to you in kind. Tis true - more than once I've been walking through a crowd in a foul mood and am thinking "Get out of my way!" in my head, and the crowds have parted for my path!
So today I set out beaming, helped by a really sunny song on the radio as I left the house! And people have been more smiley with me, which makes me feel good, so I'm more smiley with them - it's a reciprocating smiley circle! Flaking a bit now though, I think that's just cuz I've got lots to do in the next hour and not too sure how to do it. But that won't be solved by sitting on H2G2!
Only got two weeks left now before my temp contract ends here at the OU 
so I'd best make the most of it so I get a stonking good reference at the end! 
It's still difficult to find ways to push myself, but not so much of a seemingly hopeless struggle as before.
Q
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Latest reply: Mar 10, 2003
Down with procrastination!
Posted Mar 6, 2003
I finally got started on my OU course last night
The Course Guide was actually very helping in telling me to stop procrastinating and organise my time! 
The birds are singing,and a squirrel just wandered by outside the window
Queegle
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Latest reply: Mar 6, 2003
When the day doesn't even give you a chance to get started
Posted Mar 5, 2003
Contrary to my previous belief, even though I was knackered I still had trouble getting to sleep last night!
This morning brought with it a text message from me mam, saying she's going to be late because the bailiffs were at the house trying to take stuff to repay the debts of my brother who doesn't live there 
Thankfully after mum explained he doesn't live there they went away.
So that was a nice start to the day.
Ar$e Feck Hairy spherical objects Bugger Pants Poo.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Mar 5, 2003
Queeglesproggit - Keeper of the evil Thingite Avon Lady Army and Mary Poppins's bag of darkness..
Researcher U170995
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