h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The last remaining strains of the "Ginger Gene" were whipped out today when the last remaining gingers were blown sky high as the sheltered in an abandoned air-craft hanger. There leader having been killed a few days earlier when he was chased of the edge of a cliff by a troop of Yangleites, declaired that the ginger revolution was coming. It doesn't seem likely now does it?

A radical group of youths, known only as the 'Red Division', could become a serious threat to the Yangle Movement. A spokesperson for the group informed this correspondant that despite the ginger gene being now redundant, their aim was to re-introduce the hair colour to the world by chemical means. All the members of the Division have dyed red hair, and stand in defiance against the tyrancy (in their words) of the Yangelites.

'Red Division', the radical gingerist movement spawned from the Kellogs Special K Red Berries advertisement, were today exterminated.
MI5, in co-operation with Mossad and the CIA, arranged for all red dye to be mixed with h2so4 (Sulphuric Acid). The dye worked better than could be expected, as the world rejoiced upon hearing the sound of almost 3,000 deviants melting in an agonising death.

Thats lovely that is. Why dont you just melt the heads of ALL peoples? Where will it end?? WHERE WILL IT END????

All people?

One step at a time, dear yangle - one step at a time.

It started out killing just a few gingers, and now look what we've done. We killed the entire ginger population and the gene no longer exists! Can this be right, really?

No, yangle.

It isn't merely 'right', it is the vision of a perfect world!

Ahhh...now I understand. Go! Melt their heads!

My perfect world is big and green, with lots of scruffy northern lads in tents scattered around. And not a ginger in site...

Tents? I'd rather have southern girls and luxury villas by the coast.

mmm... *drifts off in her head to Southern California, and a mansion with a pool and many talentd young actors* mrowwwwwwww

Ok, I mean dead good tents. Like ones with uilt in spa pools!! You cant go wrong with a nice up draft, and a spa pool! Scruffy and northern! (And whats wrong with northern girls may I ask?!?)

The problem with northern girls, well, *one* of the problems with northern girls, for there are many, is that they generally tend to migrate down south, and just complain all the time about how expensive the beer is and how everybody up north is so much nicer and friendlier. Of course, I know this to be all lies. In Manchester/Swinton/Bolton the beer was pretty much the same price, the people in the pubs weren't at all friendly - and at creamfields, the lager was £2.50 per can (okay, so it's a festival, but it's my only experience of liverpool beer prices).

Na-ah! Southern girls are juts as bad you know! Indeed we're all as bad as each other! Hohum. agreed Festivals are expensive as hell, but mostly in liverpool its not all that expensive. Granted I dont go there all that often, but its not too bad. Getting the train there is the expensive bit! Dont ever go to Kydd's in Frodsham, if you ever lurk in this general direction. Smirnoff Ice is £3 and that cant be right!

Not likely to drink Smirnoff ice (not being a girl or a ponce), but I'm sure it's about £2.50 a bottle near here in West London.

I know lads who drink Smirnoff ice...they are all a bit camp though. Not that Im saying its the drink of choice in the gay community or anything. ok, shutting up now....

Anyways, girls are the same wherever you go. As are lads. Southern girls are just as whiney away from home as Northerners, and us northerners rock. as Im suer do ur southerners. argreed?

lol, you are *such* a Kydds h8r (and this net/text lingo makes me laugh!) You know, if you dislike it that much either stop drinking poncy smirnoff ice (sorry but it tastes like bubblegum!) or find us another decent (not toilet resembling Queens Head standard) drinking hole.

As for the northern/southern divide I couldn't really comment. One thing, us northern women don't feel the cold as much, none of them wussy cardigans for us on a night out.

Yes...stiff nips all round (but not a tassel in sight!)

Excuse me miss, but I happen to like The Queens Head! Mostly because at heart Im an old man, but also because it plays decent music (occasionally), its cheap, and theres other stuff to do then just sit about. Its called pool. I like it! Im sure Kydds is very nice if you like that sort of thing, but I dont. Never have. You should know this by now. And there arent any other watering holes that are semi-decent. so nyerh!

Freddy this is Vicky btw: she like to interrupt.

And if youre a girl theres nothing poncy about Smirnoff Ice!

Stiff nips all round? Sounds like fun. I'd love to see a miss wet t-shirt contest oop north.

OK, well, if you wish it it could be arranged. Im sure good Victoria and Kathryn here would be willing to sacrafic their modesty (or whats left of it) to suit your devices. And I'll be in the beer tent!