h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah that does seem a bit daft. (daft=new word of the week!)

Daft is me for takin maths, and daft is u for not tellin me not to do it in a stronger tone of voice!

And daft is me for talkin like this. Im on study leave and Im very very bored, can u tell! Such is the life of a student...

And Freddy, my mother never warned me about you!

f - 3 times? but it's only been out since friday! that's just silly. i did think it was good thoguh. hayden christensen is very pretty... *ahem* tohugh pretty men is not the reason i see these films. content! plot! light sabers! all good.

e - i would have thought the combined me and mother telling you 'no!' would have been enough. stubborn mule, hur hur. but no, but at least you get to drop it this year. this is a good thing. i got lost in maths after 2 weeks and had to carry it on for 2 years! no need. very daft, yes. :p

ps i realise that 'tohugh' is spelled 'though' under normal circumstances. my typing-ness has buggered up. hey ho.

Shalalala! My lovely boys and I are in for a busy summer. Got Widstock, then another charity Halton Haven effort, the this thing what petes doin int september.

When am I supposed to find the time for free love in my busy scedual? Not that Im complaining, Im sure I'll find free love with random festival lads. Not that I'm a slut.

Ok, maybe I am!

"I kiss all the time! Not that I'm a kiss slut..." - Dawn Summers

Arg. Now you behave young Yangle.

{OMG! I cannot believe what they did to Tara! I just saw 'Seeing Red' and I all teary! }

I'll not behave I'm a good girl all the time!

*scoff*

aha! i know your game lil' missy. it won't work, for you have delt with the force of the Manilow and cannot be spared.

Guardian 23rd May 2002

The healthy young rocker Ms Elbow Yangle has caused a public outcry by demanding that all rumours involving herself and Barry Manilow be haulted immediatly. She has cleared up the matter entirely by informing the press that it was infact Ms Jiggly, Elbows older sister who was caught in the ast in that broom cupboard with the afforementioned Manilow. (The two apparently look alike in the dark.)

An angry mob of 60 something women have launched an attack on the home of Ms Jiggly, after saying that Mr Manilow was no good in bed.

Guardian 24 May 2002

The Guardian would like to appologise to Kathryn Yangle and husband Orlando Bloom, for any distress caused by the reports regarding Ms. Yangle's alleged affair with Barry Manilow. It has since been brought to our attention that these rumours are untrue, and that they may have originated from jealous sibling Elizabeth Yangle. Elizabeth's office have refused to comment, however.

Guardian 29th May 2002

Since Elbow Yangles recent ordination as Pope, her word has become infallible. This incidentally means that she CAN NOT BE WRONG! Therefore, she has sued her sibling Kathryn Yangle for damages because of her lying tongue.

Guardian 31 May 2002

It has come to light that 'Pope' Elizabeth Yangle was found gibbering behind some wheely bins in Paris, outside Barry Manilow's concert there last night. It seems that her ordained power went somewhat to her head. "But... but... my word is LAW!" she was heard to shout as the men in white coats took her away. She has since been housed in the Thames Valley Mental Health Clinic in London for the forseeable future. Her people have declined to comment on the details of this matter, saying only that she is suffering from 'exhaustion'.

NME: Exclusive interview with pop-star-cum-pope, Liz Yangle.

NME: So Liz, we understand you've been under alot of pressure lately, what with having to move your camper van to the vatican and all that. What sort of effect has the stress had on you?

LY: None - I'm perfectly fine. (Eyes start twitching)

NME: But it says here you've suffered a recent nervous breakdown and total psychological failure.

LY: Listen - I'm the Pope - got that? If I say it didn't happen - then it didn't happen, and if you have a problem with that, I'll cast you straight into the fiery pits of hell - or worse - Liverpool.

NME: Okay - on a different subject, then - does your new-found holy status interfere with your music?

LY: Not really - in fact, I've been getting into gospel music and hymns lately.

NME: Forgive me for saying so, your holiness, but you don't seem the type

LY: Well, it was difficult at first. Many of the holier-than-thou brigade objected to me changing some of the words in the songs and enforcing it across the whole of the Catholic Church, but I managed to persuade them that The Lord's Prayer could really use a few more beats per minute and that "Give us this day our daily bread" would sound much better as "F*** f*** s*** f*** yeah f***ing yeah".

NME: And how did you manage to persuade them?

LY: I had most of them slaughtered. Especially the ginger ones.

NME: But your holiness, I have ginger hair.

LY: Yes, I suppose you do - I hadn't noticed that till you mentioned it. Come closer would you?

NME: [moves forward cautiously]

Just then, one of the Doctors comes and carries a kicking and screaming miss Yangle away to the safety and comfort of a padded cell.

Later - in the pub

Yangle Public Relations person #1: I *TOLD* you the interview was a bad idea.

Yangle Public Relations person #2: Yeah - but what's she gonna do, fire us? She can barely talk without dribbling, y'know cos of the Thorazine. We might as well have some fun with this while we can.

Yangle Public Relations person #1: You're right - let's book her in on "Have I Got News For You" next week

Yangle Public Relations person #2: And I thought *I* was sadistic

[they both leave, laughing all the way to the bank]

and they all lived happily ever after.

*drool* oi *dribble* I object *splash*

doctor! fetch the straightjacket!

And the squeeggy!

i have a sponge bob square pants desktop theme.

i need the men in white coats... mine wear kilts under theirs...

----------------¬
- CERTIFIED -
- INSANE -
- Yangle Family -
-----------------

There- your certificate is ready - valid for both of you

Awww...thanks. I feel so special.

Need I remind u sir, that it was u who went on the violent killing spree? Remember that? Hohum.

I've just come out of the longest most boring exam ever! Woohoo! I hate music!