This is the Message Centre for Mrs Bojangles
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Oooh, you big sneak!
I say Trin, you're a tad purple round the gils old thing, you ok?
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
Hu... y...
Wh... o...
*Holds five fingers up to give length of time before powers of speech will return. In hours*
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
5 Hours?
Not good enough. Breathe in 2 - 3 and out 2 - 3 aaaaaand relax
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Oh!
*Pours a bottle of Witch Hazel over Trin*
Says on the bottle it's good for bumps and bruises.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
Oh ... good ... ... now I'm ... covered in bumps ... and bruises ... ... I'm out of ... breath ... and ... ... I smell ... of witchhazel ...
Cracking!
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Sheesh! Always with the complaining, there's worse off than you you know, you could have no chin and be up on a nuticide charge with a really naff solicitor defending you.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
Yes, that's tr...
What do you mean, naff? I'll have you know I studied for the bar at Oxford.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Yes, but The Slug and Lettuce doesn't count! And just wearing a funny wig and long black gown doesn't cut the muster Mr.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
There's nothing funny about it - this is a *magnificent* wig.
(See, if I position myself carefully, the jury won't be able to see the judge over the top of it. All they'll be able to see is Footie, looking impeccably innocent and a bit weepy).
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
Well, I say studied. I thought about it.
Well, I say I thought about it. More nodded at it in passing.
Well, I say nodded ...
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
It's never one of those big white Louis the wotsits wigs is it?
Aaah, I see your version of 'to study' is much like mine. You'd never believe all the stuff I'd have been fantastic at, if I'd got as far as the college gates.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
Yep - a biggie. Enormous. I have to keep bending down to get through doorways.
Maybe I should paint something on the sides? 'Judges are tops' on the front, 'Prosecution Counsel Smells' on the left and 'Footie is Innocent' on the right?
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Well, a definite plus would be to keep it interesting, play to the gallery, go for laughs and get the judge drunk at recess, there's always a pub or several near the courthouse. Then go for the killer sympathy bit, maybe a few falling chin peas at intermittent intervals.
Obviously, having a friendly face on the jury would always help.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Trin Tragula Posted Feb 25, 2006
*Sigh* All right then ...
*Pencils Mrs B in as juror*
You know she's innocent, right? The nut jumped. Crazy coconut. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think Footie was actually in Outer Mongolia the whole time.
*Grunty Grunty Grunty*
Mrs Bojangles Posted Feb 25, 2006
Innocent, right. Kamikaze Coconut. Mongoose safari hunt. Check.
You've done the right thing, definitely.
*hides rotten fruit and vegetables in bag*
Ready when you are.
Key: Complain about this post
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- 117: Trin Tragula (Feb 25, 2006)
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