Journal Entries
Now we are 40
Posted Mar 29, 2007
Something happened the other night, that's been making me feel more than a little peturbed. Then, seeing as I was callously laughed at and pointed at and grassed on by Footbacon
and the actual event took place while I was here, for all to see anyway, I figured I might as well let you lot share in my latest act of stupid.
I became my mother. I did something that parents do that make teenagers roll their eyes and question how they ever got to live this long being so dumb, and quite rightly too.
I recall spending most of my time doing exactly the same with my own mother, from the age of about 14 right up until she died. Not that she was really dumb ofcourse, just did dumb things. Like I did the other night
I bought a new laptop, and needed to go about getting it hooked up to the t'internet, and as I don't have the funds to shell out for all singing all dancing wifi, it meant, as far as I could make out, unplugging the dinoputer and plugging my laptop into the modem. Simple. Any fool could do it. I called up my providers broadband helpline though, just to make sure. That's what adults do isn't it? Check things. Anyway, with a big sigh (and I could tell he was rolling his eyes too) broadband chappy said "Yes madam, it really is just as simple as unhooking your old pc and plugging the modem into your latop".
So, I dismantled and untangled the myriad of wires and equipment belonging to dinoputer and set them up again in my son's room, so at least he'd be able to still type up word docs etc for his homework. So far, so good. I open the shinyness that is my new laptop, plug her into the mains, go to plug the lead from the modem into the laptop...it doesn't fit. Check the manual again, yup, definitely says 'Modem' with a little arrow pointing to the port at the back of the laptop.
Bowlax! Bloody typical....I have to be the one with the duff flarkin' equipment. Why can't anything just flarkin' work straight away, no hassles....and along those lines the rant continued for a minute or two. I decided to phone broad band support again, I mean, that's what they're there for right, and afterall, it's yet another piece of their shite equipment that's not up to doing the job it's supposed to, yet again.
So, I call. Now, in the past, when I've called the helpline, usually in the wee small hours of the night, after several hours of sending myself demented trying to solve whichever particular problem I'd encountered in trying to get my puter to do what I want it to. Then what normally happens, is...I'm hysterical, and on the brink of tears at the point of calling and the nice man calms me down, and understands that he needs to speak to me in words of no more than one syllable and very slowly when conversing in Geekanese. Then he takes me through each stage 'You do have it plugged into a power socket don't you madam?' until we eventually happen upon the precise problem and then solution. Then we have a nice little chat about insomnia, wish each other goodnight. Everybody happy.
The other night was an altogether different experience. First of all the guy I get to speak with has a very thick accent and speaks at a rate of several knots per second using 'advanced computer speak for ubergeeks and Stephen Hawking', making him completely unintelligble. I stop him after about 10 minutes and say "I'm sorry, I haven't the first idea of what the hell you're talking about, secondly, could you at least slow down to jibberish speed, thirdly, what you're telling me bears absolutely no relation to the query I have. So, we start again, I tell him the modem thingy doesn't fit, he tells me lots of unrelated things culminating in, "You have to buy a USB cable and connect to the modem this way, although we don't approve or support this method, and if anything goes wrong, we won't fix it, because you're using a USB to connect to the internet." "That's a bit bowlax really isn't it?" I suggest. "Can't you get me a modem with wires that fit stuff?" The conversation goes on at length, with me trying to explain the problem I'm having, him not understanding what I'm trying to tell him and me only understanding an average of one out of every 800 words he uses per sentence. Eventually, I get exasperated "Fine! Just forget it, I'll wait til I can afford to get wifi, and seriously consider using another internet provider to do so. Good day to you sir!" "Flarking idiot!" I say after slamming the phone down, only it's a cordless phone, so I didn't so much slam it down as push the 'end call' button in an aggressive manner.
So, all the gear and gubbins for dinoputer gets disassembled and transported back into the living room and reassembled again. I log on to speak with Footie and am having a good old rant about ineffectual, stupid helpline people with the manual for my laptop open in front of me. It's only then I notice that the port I was attempting to plug the modem into was for a 'telephone connection', in fairness, it wasn't terribly clear at first several glances. I also happen to glance over at the opposite page and see the words 'ethernet' with a nice little picture pointing to various ports and doodahs on the other side of my laptop.
My chagrin is immeasurable. I was never this person before. I'd get a new piece of kit, flick through the manual then go about working stuff out and how stuff worked by myself, confidently, adeptly and always, always with success. (Except for the stuff I broke, obviously.) It would have had to have been one iced up day in hell before I'd even consider calling a helpline...back in the day.
I was reminded of all the instances when I'd try to explain various bits of the latest technology to my mum, "Oh for God's sake mum, just turn the cassette over and put it back in and then you'll get to hear the *second* side of the tape. How hard is that? Look! It even has what you're supposed to do written on the bloody buttons you have to press. Jesus!"
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Mar 29, 2007
Customer service? Where?
Posted Aug 30, 2006
in' Telewest and I have been playing this game for the last couple of months. I paid via cheque for June's bill. It gets withdrawn from my account.
I suddenly get all my services cut, phone, tv, internet.
I call and ask why, they say, 'we haven't received your payment'.
I say, 'yes you have, says so here on my bank statement'.
'Don't believe you' they say, 'get us a copy of the cheque. We'll reconnect your services though until this matter is resolved, cos you're a long standing customer with good payment history'
'Gee thanks' I say.
Since then, I've had my services cut a total of 4 times, yesterday included, and lost count of how many times and people I've spoken with from Telewest. Eventually, on each occasion, they reconnect my services, and promise not to disconnect them, until the cheque arrives.
The photocopied cheque finally arrives yesterday. I call Telewest. 'I have the cheque, it's on it's way to you as soon as I put the phone down. Why have my services been cut again, put them back on please?'
'No, we won't reconnect your services until we have the cheque in our hands'
'But you promised you wouldn't cut them again...this is not my fault, this is your error. Clearly states on the cheque that it's made payable to Telewest Communications, and has my Telewest account number on the back *and* it's been drawn from my account by you'
'Tough! We can't do anything until we see the cheque.'
Photocopied cheque and nasty letter sent to the Missing Payments Department.
Photocopied cheque, copy of nasty letter, and further letter of a muchos venemous complaining type thing sent to the customer services boss bod.
All services mysteriously reconnected at some point today, without so much as a phonecall or by your leave.
Needless to say, I'm looking to take my custom elsewhere.
Thing is, I had a similar problem with BT about 7 years ago and vowed I'd never have dealings with them again...anyone know of any good internet providers that don't require a BT line.
Discuss this Journal entry [10]
Latest reply: Aug 30, 2006
I'm 1!
Posted Jun 16, 2006
Apparently, it was my first Hootooversary a couple of weeks ago.
Hurrah?
Discuss this Journal entry [53]
Latest reply: Jun 16, 2006
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Posted Apr 20, 2006
Here’s the thing. I’ve been working for a time, as some of you may know, in my friend’s canteen. Initially, I was just there in response to a distress call, somehow, it’s turned into something more permanent. It’s ok, I quite enjoy it, although it distracts me from looking for a real job, and is certainly totally stress free in comparison to my last job ….except for this one thing. My friend has this habit of speaking inaudibly most of the time, then adding a ‘huh?’ on the end of everything she says or after everything anyone else says. I’ve also come to realise that she’s quite a bit of a whinger too and never, ever shuts up. Odd how these things only manifest as bothersome when spending a considerable amount of time in someone’s company eh?
Anyway, it’s really, really getting on me thrups! A serious pet hate of mine has always been ever having to repeat myself, so times that by every chuffin’ sentence over 6 hours a day, pet hate number two, people who mumble or mutter or turn their bleedin’ head away when they’re addressing you or insist on continuing a conversation even if you’re not in the same damn room.
It’s making me a bit mental!
Discuss this Journal entry [28]
Latest reply: Apr 20, 2006
Two teas darlin’, one wiv, one wiv’art!
Posted Jan 24, 2006
For the last 2 days, I have mostly been hanging around a building site.
I have a friend who runs a couple of canteens on sites hither and dither, and I got a frantic call from her on Sunday night. She’d been let down and had nobody to run one of them, that’s the bit where I had to come in useful.
So I did, with much trepidation, albeit with some catering experience under my belt, the last time being some 13/14 years ago. I was very nervous, what with being thrown in the deep end and all and not least because, well, the place is full of builders and the like.
Once I got my head round the fact that the ‘menu’ was an oil soaked cholesterol fest throw back to the 70’s, I actually quite enjoyed it.
The builders weren’t nearly as scary as I’d feared, in fact they were jolly nice to me, in a slapping my arse with the Sunday Sport kind of way.
I got to learn things too
Apparently I make a faaaackin’ ‘ansome fry up. I’m shweet ash a nut shunshine, if not a little bit cushty too.
Each builder is very particular as to how they like their tea, ranging from stewed until it resembles mud, to hot water knocked stupid…nevertheless, a minimum of three sugars is almost obligatory. One chappie was the exception though, he drank hot chocolate with four sugars and a Curlywurly to dip in it.
I suspect they probably all have worms.
Anyway, it was an experience and it was fun in a feet aching hard work kind of way, and I’d probably step into the breach again if required, but don’t think I’ll be making a career out of it anytime soon.
*sucks teeth in* Whichever faaackin’ muppet did the tilin’ in ‘ere, wants faaaackin’ ‘angin’. 
Discuss this Journal entry [85]
Latest reply: Jan 24, 2006
Mrs Bojangles
Researcher U1600526
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