h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's that time of year again: the annual Christmas pageant, which will take place tomorrow morning during the Sunday School hour. I was asked to come over to the church this morning and help them practise their singing. This singing is distinct from the 'band' part, where the kids beat boomwhackers to make Christmas tunes. During that part, at least two boys will beat the boomwhackers on their heads. This is a very musical exercise.

Sitting at the piano, I observed two of the bigger girls putting on their costumes: white robes with scalloped sleeves and tinsel garlands on their heads. That made sense. Then they started putting yellow washing-up gloves on their feet, which gave me a start.

'Hey,' I said. 'I don't remember angels having claws.'

'We're chickens.'

'This is obviously a new version of the Nativity Story.'

This play centres around the reaction of the animals in the stable to the birth of the Christ Child. Since the humans don't speak the same language, it being the Middle East and all, they are apparently unconcerned by the running commentary of the cow, goat, sheep, and yes, chickens. The chickens say everything in threes, like a Greek chorus.

Those chickens are going to steal the show, trust me on this.

I played 'O Little Town of Bethlehem' for them on the piano. The rest of the songs will be a cappella because, as their leader explained, 'We're never quite sure what key we'll be in.' This was fine with me: I sat back to enjoy the dialogue - which is being projected onto the screen. It will delight the audience, I have no doubt.

The sheep are rooting for Mary. 'Come on, Mary, you can do it!'

'I wonder if it will be a boy or girl?'

The goat: 'Just get it over with, I'm trying to get some sleep here!'

The baby is born. 'He looks cold.'

'That's okay, they're going to wrap him in swaddling clothes.' Such a vocabulary these animals have.

Mary places the baby in the manger.

The cow: 'Ewww! I have to eat out of that!'

I sat weeping silent tears of laughter. I wished my late mother had been there. She would have loved it. She directed Christmas pageants for years. Never did she have a chicken, or lines like that. She would have been laughing, too.

Somehow, the obligatory chorus of 'The Little Drummer Boy' seemed a fitting finish to what will no doubt be the theatrical highlight of the season in western Pennsylvania.

And just so you don't have to live without a video, here's a link to some talented bigger kids doing amazing things with boomwhackers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO_SAICehmM

May your holiday be merry. Just don't forget to feed the chickens in the Manger Scene.

Up here where, if we're lucky, we get 4 hours of 'daylight' at this time of year we tend to have a more primitive form of mid-winter celebration with a nicely decorated tree to worship, a lot of chocolate and a moderate amount of alcohol

Did any druids preside?

that sounds great Dmitri

It's so primitive that it probably pre-dates Druids as well (aren't they a 19th century invention anyway?) but of course anyone is welcome so long as they bring a bottle...

Oh, man, too bad Pennsylvania's still too far away

*We* get a talent show on New Year's Eve, though, and *someone* may volunteer to take the so-expensive-I-prefer-to-think-of-it-as-the-ministry's-instead-of-my big camcorder (I'll ask Pastor K when I film Tom and Tim's concert on Friday).

That sounds like fun!

THAT is bloody fantastic! America's got talent or britain's got talent = get them on one! WHAT a beat and those students are

a round of from me to them

ps: - bookmarked to pass on

~~ yes, i am going to pass it on also. .. ... . .. ...

The talent show: http://youtu.be/GXUzvIQ6NFg

It's a bit long--nearly 2 hours I'll come back and put time stamps for some of the best bits, including PaperKid and Notepad, but later.

Watching in increments. I like that version of 'Power in the Blood'. Some good rhythm there.

The guys (yep, that's Tom on guitar and Tim that you can't actually see on the drums) aren't really happy with their performance at the show--partly because the keyboardist was rather insistent on joining (put her off for the concert on the 21st, gave in for talent show--no practices until night of, and she thought they were using the regular arrangement...) but mostly because of things inherent to the drums being on the floor instead of onstage--no monitor for Tim (and I couldn't hear his voice at all from the back of the sanctuary) and sympathetic drum vibration.

The concert exists on YouTube, as well, if you're interested? Not on my account, though, so searching for it there won't help.

We could use this video in the Post on 21 January. If you'd like to write a short intro for it, feel free! You can post it here, or email it to me.

There are kids under 16 in it.

Oh. I hadn't seen the whole thing. Sorry.

If you ever publish an excerpt, let me know.

I can ask K and D if I can excerpt Maud I also need to check that there's none of her missing, because the camera switched over to the second memory card while she was on. I can also check to see how old the magician's assistant is. I'm pretty sure the actors in the skit are old enough--I know for a fact that "Ma" will be 17 in May, and I think the other is older. I seem to remember that my giving permission won't work for PaperKid and Notepad?

Right. I checked with Robbie last time.

Watching the Maud bit--darn it, little kids wandering in front of the audience and into the skit (3 and 5)! I don't know if I know how to blur them out.

Phooey. I can't blur very well, but I can cartoonise, which I do.

I know there's a way to share YouTube clips starting at a specific point, but I don't know that way... So I'll just give timestamps to my favorite bits (not giving the stamp for Tom and Tim, per request, but they're the first non-emcee folks on stage).

The whole thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXUzvIQ6NFg&feature=youtu.be

PaperKid and Notepad (not that you can hear them well because Notepad was holding the mic...) : 34:57

Skit: 38:20

Magic act: 53:30

Skit (sorry about the horrid camera work--stupid post was in the way...) Eh, we'll estimate time: 1:11:20ish

Brent: 1:15:50

Maud (not safe if you're somewhere laughter is inappropriate, possibly NSFW if innuendos are not allowed... Also, the bit's 25 minutes or so long.) There'd been questions for weeks as to whether Maud would be coming, and now I know why: 1:21:05

Michael Green (directly after Maud, so if you want to see Pastor Ken trying to recover in between, watch through) : 1:47:00