h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello,

For anyone who hasn't yet had the benefit of realising then I'm here to say that I'm gay... I'm not ashamed of it and only hope you'll all be as happy for me as I am for all you straight people... And of course any gay/bisexuals who are out there...

If anyone out there's been going through similar stuff then I'd just like to say it will get better... Up until a week ago only my friend Emily knew and I've recently told my mother who took it really well... Don't be afraid as to how people will react... I know it sounds stupid, and I didn't think it'd be any good when people said that to me but it's true... People who love you won't change because of it... They'll only be happy that you're happy... Just take it at whatever pace comes naturally to you and you'll be fine... Just don't work yourself up into a state about it... Believe me, telling people will be the end to all your stress and worry...

And if people treat you differently because you're queer then they're not worth it... They're simply missing out on knowing you for who you are...

Farewell,

Mr. Odie x

Well Holy bovine stuff!!!!

in my opinion, you should decide whether your gay or not after you've actually met more girls, but that's only my personal opinion

i have just received a telephone call from em, and don't worry, i'm not going to tell anyone at school, though having a sexual attraction to kathy burke in gimmegimmegimme character is disgusting, as that character is actually meant to be sexually repulsive.

Thanks Ed, it's much appreciated... They'll all know soon anyway... Most people know about my fascination with Kathy Burke already so this shouldn't be a problem...

As for your original point... Going out with women when you're attracted to men is simply lying to yourself... You can't teach yourself to be straight, God knows I tried, and doing that is going to cause a great deal more harm than good... I may change my mind in ten years or so and decide it's not for me but that's just not how I feel at the moment and, looking back at my life, it makes a lot more sense...

Farewell,

Mr. Odie x

You are SO gay

(tee hee hee)

Jim

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You did tell us who you were with all respect.

And I am NOT Mr Tumnus.

And we all knew you were Gay, because you are limp-wristed and very camp.

Your brother got the Muslim genes, you got the Gay ones.

JP

Jamie... Keep this quiet and let Scott come out in his own time... Which, judging by my conversationns with him, won't be long...


Jamie.

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scott, how many people have you told today?

I don't think it's a bad thing; it feels so much better to get something like that off your chest.

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I don't think you'll find that that offends Mr. Tumnus. How do fawns have sex, out of interest?

I can't claim to have much personal experience in the ways we "fawns" have sex, although it's bloody obvious... (I am the only person unfamiliar with the word "fawns"?) However, I'd like to point out that it's a common misconception that gay men just shag each other non-stop... Indeed, most gay relationships are a lot more caring and long-lasting than straight ones ever could be... This is because straight depise their own heterosexual existence and are actually gay, hence they don't even attempt to make a go at it...

Anyway, as far as methods are concerned, there's anal sex involving a cock, an arse, extra-safe condoms and a considerable amount of KY jelly; and then there's oral sex involving a mouth and a cock (if both the cock and mouth are your own then you're one lucky person who needn't ever leave the house)... To be fair, sex isn't actually the main focus of gay relationships and gay men aren't obsessed by it... The majority of gay men, for instance, don't particularly like anal sex (I know it doesn't particularly appeal to me) and so just don't do it... Oral sex is far more common, although shouldn't be given by somebody with cuts/sores/ulcers in their mouth because of STDs (although it's unlikely with oral sex, it could still happen)... Incidentally, gay men are far safer when it comes to taking precautions against STDs...

Anyway, I know I didn't decide that I'm gay simply because of the sex... It rarely crosses my mind (unless I'm explaining it to people as I ahve just done)... And it'd be wise for all you straight people to remember that being gay isn't a way of life, just a part of life, and thus I'm not obsessed with it 24/7...

Anyway, I really should thank Emily for asking such a probing question (which she knew I wouldn't like) as it gives me a perfect excuse to post her BBC Talent script, "Suffering For Your Art", online somewhere... I'll put up the cocktail stick joke at some point and add the rest if she makes a repeat performance

Farewell,

Mr. Odie

By the way, Mr. Tumnus, if Emily and Mr. Frew disgust you so much, why the hell do you bother even reading what they say?

You are SO Mr. Tumnus,

(tee hee hee)

Mr. Odie - that was all rather unnecessary you know; if you are unfamiliar with "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", Mr. Tumnus is a fawn, which is a half-man, half-goat creature (how fitting).

You dare post my script and you DIE.

The cocktail stick joke wasn't too bad, if a little bland...

By the way, your sister said "tell Scott the gormless one says 'hi'".

OooooOOOOoooo.... Quite the militant gay aren't we... Most of the below if fairly obvious... However... I think you may have just stumbled into a new euphamisn... Hurray... Join the club... I created "Talking to Bob"...

Ahh well...

Jamie.

OooooOOOOoooo.... Quite the militant gay aren't we... Most of the below if fairly obvious... However... I think you may have just stumbled into a new euphamism... Hurray... Join the club... I created "Talking to Bob"...

Ahh well...

Jamie.

I am rather unfamilar with "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" and haven't come into contact with it for a few years... Well, perhaps just the wardrobe... I though a fawn was an insult and I apologise... I'll still post your script though... And my sister told me about your really quite amusing outbursts... (For the LAST time, SHE'S NOT STARING AT YOU!!!)

And, Mr. Frew, forgive me... But I'm unaware as to this euphemism I have supposedly created... I am, however, quite familiar with "talking to Bob"...

Anyway, that's my lot for now... Farewell,

Mr. Odie x

C.S. Lewis is a prophet, seeing into the future to recognise the fawn-like genius of my good self. Hi Emily (and ed i suppose)

JP