h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry Ed, none of those people you know on facebook are real. Tough way to break it to you, but you had to know.

Neither am I. I'm the product of a very sick imagination.

Gmail and it's silly suggestions. Mine tells me it thinks I want to sell (as opposed to buy) science equipment, to join dating sites for people who aren't anywhere near my age or geographic area of residence and other hilarity. Oh well, at least it can be amusing sometimes.

Gmail and facebook try to cover all the bases with me, because i never click its dating adverts, one month a year (november, for some reason) it decides to see if I'm gay and flicks its adverts, which is slightly odd, but funny to watch

I keep getting the advert for recipies for spam.
Although never my favourite one of 'delete forever'

I've been applying for tour guide jobs (interview tomorrow, yay!) and that's made most of the ads on the internet ones encouraging me to visit Ireland.

Hotmail always shows me adverts for sishi. I never ate sushi.

with the interview!

indeed, with interviews!

My gmail is currently trying to flog me labtrial software
Then again, I think I unhooked the targetting of ads in my gmail so it must just be randomness.

Congrats on the interview,

What does sishi taste like? Maybe its worth clicking on the add...

congrats on the interview.

And why do I not get ads for gay men friends? I get lots of invites for Russian brides on Noesis. I feel discriminated, as given the choice some new gay best friends would be far more useful than a Chinese girlfriend.

Oh, you also get the Russians and Chinese?

with the interview Mala!

Heck, I wouldn't mind a Chinese girlfriend ... or a Russian bride ... or any new friends of any sort!

I never get any gay invites from Noesis...I don't remember giving them my preferences when i made my account, nor anything about my past girlfriends,

I use Adblock, so I'm never invited anywhere by anyone

()

I kept getting ads for tour guides. Then I tell *one* person the interview didn't go as well as I expected; now google keeps giving me ads for payday loans...

Mine is currently offering loans at 39.9% APR variable specifically for those new to the UK who want to build credit history.

Sometimes I wish I did believe in fundamental abrahamic religions just so such people would get their comeuppance.

Apparently I need the

*Dripsafe Umbrella Wrapper
(Protect your staff and visitors from trips, slips and falls)*

It's quite disturbing to see your complex character and sum of your worldly experience and intelligence boiled down in such a glib way.

Umbrellas are quite sophisticated. On another thread, we are discovering that all we need is cottage cheese.

That sounds like a Lennon & McCartney first draft