h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oh i don't bloody care. Any half wit could see that everything about me doing this journal was something *good* to let off steam and something I worked out that no-one here has done before in this way.

If some petty bureacrat wants to yikes something to make me feel invaded let them

Nothing is going to change on this journal.

I'm very upset about what's happening to do with my friend kea and apparently the very negative way I'm viewed on this site.

I can hardly believe it...people in real life nearly always really love and like me...but apparently not here.

Right I'm off to bed...and looking forward to getting drunk again tomorrow. Stuff the world and all its horribleness and bad opinion of me. It's wrong about that.

I'm going to tone down my language here as I'm fearful of further yikesing

I continue to dislike (extreme extreme understaement) this place more and more.

You try to be honest with people.

You get kicked in the teeth.

But then this horrible horrible world is like that.

I'm going to spend today in utter nihilism and crying a lot.

It appears I lost kea forever.

My whole life has been about 'loss'

So I'll just deal with it in the way that seems most appropriate to me.

So once again someone steps in and interferes with kea and I sorting things out.

Treated like children.

Thank god it doesn't happen in real life for grown-ups.

But it does here.

Actually Lil that was unfair to you.

If she needs time and space..which I think she does...you did a good thing.

kea I don't know if you ever read this journal. But if you do you should know how much I like you..but I might make the occasional mistake...but you will always be close to my heart.

its good to write nice things here as well.

'...We shall not cease from explration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time...'

From Little Gidding part of the 4 Quartets of T.S. Elliot, (I know T. S. Elliot is a someone Tarantoes is fond of, as am I)

Suddenly feeling unbelievably tired all the time. I don't like this feeling. I can hardly keep my eyelids held up.

It's unbearabale. It's half eleven here..and I feel like I haven't slept in months. Well I hardly have really. But still. But I'm *not* giving into it. Going to listen to more music and damn well wake up.

Plus its a wonderfully sunny autumn day..and I'm going to enjoy that.

But I'm sick to death of food still tasting strange. Just made poached egg on toast..and it tasted of nearly nothing.

I'm going out to get some more oysters later.

And I am going back to bed to sleep..that's all I want..well not quite all to say the least..but for now.

Oh well I'm fully awake now. Half three in the afternoon..according to the computer.

And I'm going completely crazy. That's a fact. People do. That's truth.

Thank christ I started this thread.

Oh well I'd better go up the road and get those oysters.

And what a good atmosphere it was in the fishmongers. Some woman chatting on about all sorts of stuff to with fish. A guy behind me leaning on his bike..wanting clams.

And i got my usual 6 oysters

Equally good in the greengrocers where I bought lemons and rocket. I have tomatoes in the garden so they'll go with the rocket for a salad.

But I can't wait to get into those oysters again tonight. Will get a very dry white from the Turkish shop. Actually should go now so it'll be chilled.

I'm still fed up I can't sort out this thing with kea. Everyone treating her with kid gloves.

Christ she started 2 sex thread lately, she can't be that in a bad state.

And now I see she talks about a big problem for her here.

Well the BIG ing problem is that someone cares too much about her...and I don't think she handles that well.

But I've done all I can now.

Communication is needed. It may or may not happen.