h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At last - the Club you have to be Big _and_ Bad to join . Should have done this ages ago

ole buddy.

I'm a BBW fan. Can I join?
I'll bribe you with raw meat....
steaks appear, tantalisingly floating in the air, dripping with meat juices...

*salivates profusely*

That ought to distract him.

Awwwww, a fan club for me? Why thanks, guys!

*Eyes the meat*

And, and, ex-r, you ARE kinda big for a ghost, and most definately bad...

*Licks chops.*

You`re our favourite Werewolf. Fancy a Cat Kebab ... we made them specially ?

For me? Oh, thanks.

*Takes a Kebab and wolfs it down.*

Yum, medium-rare with mushrooms. Just how I like it.

Say, if you'd like a drink or something, help yourself.

*Points at the well-appointed bar and fridge.*

tends bar. It feels good to be bad.
Wonders what she's bad at.
Well appointed bar, couch, card table, pool table, this place has a lot of goodies. Sits back behind the bar and listens to "Bad Moon Rising" by Credence Clear Water Revival.

Don't go 'round toniiight,
For it's bound to take your liiiiife

Hey, ex-R, wanna play pool?

"Rack em up! But be warned, My aim's notoriously bad...better have a on call with vast experience in removing small, spherical objects from various body parts."
*Puts on helmet, pads, downs sixpack.* "I'm ready."

*opens six pack of strong Aussie beer*

Play the winner .... at `Fireball` Pool ?

*tries to break. Shoots the cue ball striaght up in the air. It ricochets off of the overhanging lamp and drops into the pool balls, knocking a solid into a cup.* I got one! let's see, *takes aim*hits, misses.

Ah, very good, ex-R.

*Walks around the table, sizing up various shots. Finally decides on one and lines it up. Just before making the shot, notices that he is lined up on the 8 ball instead of the cue ball. Quickly walks around to the cue ball and shoots at a random ball without aiming. The striped ball thuds into a pocket. BBW looks casual, as if he meant to do that all along.

He lines up his second shot very very carefully, shoots and inadvertently pockets a solid.*

aww, too bad.
* lines up a shot, sinks her ball. gets her sheet caught in the poolcue, trips, falls into the pool table.*
oh, oh. I'm stuck!

*Fumbles around trying to extract the pool cue from ex-R's sheet without doing anything indecent. Finally gives up trying to be discrete and just yanks the pool cue. There is a small ripping noise and a large gasping noise from BBW.*

Oh, er, sorry about that.

Yes, that statue was definately one short of a pair.

Yes, well.

Uh, who's shot was it?

I am Not half-a**ed!
It's Red Dog's shot, but he's out of town. Rack em up, bud.*Drags in a case of *

Yes, you're definately not short of cheek. But that statue really should have two, um, whatsits.

*Racks up the balls. Shoots and pockets the cue ball.*

Oops.

Well, fix it. Once you find the missing unowhat, I recommend using superglue.
*takes a * oh, oh. which ball do I aim for?
letsheee...*hic*...I think I'll hit thish one here!
*sinks the right one, but also hits three stripes and scratches.*woopsie!*
Got my ball, awright, heh, heh, and evrybody elshes, too!