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Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
well, those simulposts bring us to fifty. See, Simon, it's not *that* hard, you could have come up with more than your lousy six! Aha!
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
To be a pedantic poet for a mo, I think we need another one as "Dont need to discuss much" doesnt have anyone's name in it 
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
sprout Posted Jun 11, 2004
45) Cultivate your BO, Mo
46) Lock her in your shed, Ted
sprout
Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
Beatrice Posted Jun 11, 2004
How 'bout
Slam the door and be gone, Egon
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
oh balls, I didn't realise that I'd left that in on copy and paste.
Sprout, which of yours do you want as number fifty?
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
sprout Posted Jun 11, 2004
Blimey you lot are quick - I'd barely thought about it and you'd got to fifty.
As for the shed or BO option - it depends - are you looking for a fast departure or a slow eroding of the situation?
sprout
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
I wasn't really thinking that deeply.
Now, if I submitted these fifty to Shazz for possible inclusion in the post as a quirky feature, while crediting everyone properly for their contributions, would any of you (Psyc, Otto, Lucky, sprout) object?
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Jun 11, 2004
FBM
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
Secretly Not Here Any More Posted Jun 11, 2004
Aaargh! Txtspk!!!
Erm, yeah, go for it...
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
*clips Psyc round the ear'ole*
Right, I'm putting an entry together at A2734265- you'll all be credited on it soon enough, and I've made the suggestion to Shazz by email. It's Greebo's fault- last week I said that if Tim Henman won the French Open, I'd like to do a one off special spologising for mercileslly slagging him off in my sports column a few times, and suggestinmg thathe'd never win a grand slam tournament.. Greebs told me I could submit one-off specials whenever I want, on whatever I want.
Bwahahahahahahaha
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
et voila: A2734265
(I really don't have enough to do, you know)
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
sprout Posted Jun 11, 2004
Wish I could write my Post articles that quickly...
There are a few typos in it.
You could throw it open to your readers, see if they can come up with better/funnier alternatives?
sprout
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 11, 2004
That's an idea, put a kind of "if you have any ways to leave your lover, that we haven't thought of, just mention them below" type thing?
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
Hypatia Posted Jun 11, 2004
Act like a priss, Chris
Never pick up your socks, Jacque
Shove her in the mud, Bud
Just get yourself free.
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
Jordan Posted Jun 11, 2004
Write of his car, Lar.
Cut up his Armani, Annie.
And my personal favorite...
Get crumbies on the sofa, Chandler!
OK, so the scansion isn't so good and it doesn't really rhyme... 
- Jordan
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
GreyDesk Posted Jun 11, 2004
47) snd a txt, Tex
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 12, 2004
You are aware that takes us to about sixty now, thus destroying my whole concept 
Paul Simon is forty-five ways to leave your lover short
egon Posted Jun 12, 2004
Oh, and from MRolf Harris's seminal "Tie Me Kangarroo Down Sport" we have:
"Take her koala back, Jack"
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Paul Simon is forty-four ways to leave your lover short
- 21: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 22: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 23: sprout (Jun 11, 2004)
- 24: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 25: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 26: sprout (Jun 11, 2004)
- 27: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 28: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Jun 11, 2004)
- 29: Secretly Not Here Any More (Jun 11, 2004)
- 30: Beatrice (Jun 11, 2004)
- 31: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 32: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 33: sprout (Jun 11, 2004)
- 34: egon (Jun 11, 2004)
- 35: Hypatia (Jun 11, 2004)
- 36: Hypatia (Jun 11, 2004)
- 37: Jordan (Jun 11, 2004)
- 38: GreyDesk (Jun 11, 2004)
- 39: egon (Jun 12, 2004)
- 40: egon (Jun 12, 2004)
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