h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can you imagine what a blubbering puddle of treacle he'd be if something serious had happened to him? Like what if he'd received a jury summons during a scheduled holiday? Or what if he'd left his windows down in the rain? Egads!

There's a disturbing trend towards exaggerating the effect that often relatively insignificant events have on people when they're interviewed by a news organisation. It's no good unless something has... hmmm. BRB

And yet, the most infamous "frivolous lawsuit" was anything but.

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/cur78.htm

Is that the McDonalds coffee lawsuit? Even without clicking on the link it's everyone's first thought when lawsuits are mentioned.

Hah, it is

Some folks get very angry with me when I try to explain why this wasn't frivolous at all. They really want to stick with the accepted narrative.

I've seen pictures of her injuries. This was a horrible burn.

Well, people have always been easily swayed by gossip, especially when it reinforces their own prejudices and agenda and gives them something to pass on to others and it's been going on for a lot longer than the internet's been around, but the internet has moved it out of the pub/workplace/home to the whole wide world.

"To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea," Siv During Livh, a psychologist and expert on sex fantasies told the news website.
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/467900/20130515/man-sweden-dies-sex-hornet-s-nest.htm#.UZPmZRKAOS8.twitter

Seriously? Thanks for the good advice, I'll try to remember it

Actually there are a few "WTFs" in that story - like how the body was so swollen it was mistaken for a *whale*...

Or when his neighbour, who found the body, says:

"I have never in my life seen such a swollen pelvic bone. It hid the whole package [and] the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal."

Errr...

It must have either been a very small whale, or the body was *really* swollen

I saw that headline yesterday, but didn't bother reading it as I found it to be literally incredible.

I'm very skeptical these days. Call it the Daily Mail effect.

The Daily Mail Y'know, the BBC is starting to head in that direction, but without the jingoism. Too many stories about health and safety, too many stories that would be insignificant and belong in a local rag but for the fact that someone had to admit to something and/or apologise.

This one came to my notice today http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22541905
"The charity which highlighted the issue attention welcomed Hikma's about-turn."

I haven't seen any evidence of an about-turn in that story, although we obviously don't get the whole story in such a brief report. Either way, using the phrase 'about-turn' is cheap and tacky in my eyes because 'U-turn' and 'about-turn' are so often used pejoratively or to make a point about someone's perceived (or often made-up) weakness. I don't care for that even when it's true that someone has figuratively made a U-turn, and I don't see a U-turn here, more a full stop.

Semantics, but on the parade ground an 'about face' can be achieved with rotation but not linear movement. A 'U turn' usually means a continuous movement without stopping.

(It's 10 to 2 AM here so please excuse my pedanticness)

Hey, I've pounded the square a few times myself y'know, and marched (and I do mean marched - in a band) in the local carnival

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-22579130

The woman hangs on to her phone while the robber is trying to take it from her giving passers-by ample opportunity to help, but they stand around and watch. Seriously?

The instant response people have in an emergency these days: "make sure you record it on your phone!"

True lad, very true. Although it can be a very useful response come time for the court case.

HMRC apologises over £1bn tax bill blunder
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-22691970

"Ms Cooke described the original demand for Value Added Tax (VAT) issued by HMRC in Southend-on-Sea, Essex, as "threatening".

"When I realised it was nearly £1bn I nearly fell over in the kitchen. I don't even make a wage... I was so worried they would come and take all my stuff. I work 150 hours a week and I put everything I have into the cafe. I'm not even making a wage but I love it. I am naive because it is my first time running a business,"

Seriously? No. No no no. No matter how naive anyone might or not be, if you're a small business owner and you get a tax bill for £979,092,858, the last thing in the world it is is threatening. Only businesses who don't pay their taxes, like Google, Amazon, Apple and Starbucks get tax bills like that. A billion pound tax bill is very obviously a mistake. Very, very obviously.

I'm so weary of 'poor me, I didn't know, I'm a victim' stories like this. It's not news and no-one can honestly be so naive as to consider a tax bill for a billion quid a threat or take it seriously. If you really are that naive, maybe you shouldn't be in business

Or maybe you're just looking for publicity... and looking pretty stupid in the process

I just heard one of the cricket commentators say that today's the first day of the football season.

Seriously?

It's August the bloody 2nd! The kids have barely started their summer holidays. We're only a little more than half way through the cricket season. The hottest day of the year so far was recorded two days ago.

Seasonal creep in beer releases is bad enough but this is bang out of order. Come the revolution...

Actually, it's August 3rd But what need have I for dates right now?

Well, none really, except for the fact that it's NOT BLEEDIN' OCTOBER YET!!! http://beerpulse.com/2013/08/gritty-mcduffs-halloween-ale-now-available-1045/