h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A glass devil wearing a rather fetching long skirt

> Y'know, the Westboro signs are so, well, just plain silly, that it surely couldn't take much for a bunch of people opposed to them to come up with something equally as silly and protest outside their HQ and/or wherever they happen to be.

Westboro counter-protests are a major tradition, nowadays. Some of them are brilliant. Some of the best, and a few other counter-protests, are documented at http://godhatesprotesters.wordpress.com/.

TRiG.

It's a kinda Rohschach test, really!

Hey! Let's all do the Pareidolia Polka!

Footie starts today? Seriously?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-14502212

Seriously? What a twit.

"It can be filled in Urdu, Punjabi, and even Tagalog, one of the dialects of the Philippines, but not in one of the native languages of Britain," said Mr Turnbull."

Firstly, I'd be surprised to learn that there isn't a Welsh version. Secondly, if there isn't one why are you asking for it? Can't have it both ways, sunny Jim. Thirdly, the other languages are for people who don't speak English, and clearly you do. And isn't English one of the 'native languages'?

Slap the penalties on him and tell him to grow up.

Scientists have been put on trial for failing to predict an earthquake
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/9593123.stm

Seriously?

Unfortunately, like so many news stories, even those from the much respected Newsnight, this one doesn't really go into full enough detail to know exactly what's going on and who, exactly, is behind this, so more research ought to be done. But I honestly thought that, at least in Europe, we were over such distrust in science. It seems like we're going back to the middle ages, as is suggested by the Galileo reference.

Picture Special: Pippa Middleton's winter gloom
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/entertainment/2011/nov/picture-special-pippa-middletons-winter-gloom.html

Seriously?

Hey, I know what, let's take a picture of someone walking along the street on a cold day, wrapped up in their winter coat. We won't bother with what's going through their mind, who they've been talking to, whether they're thinking about a busy day at work, whether they've been bothered by someone listening to a loud personal stereo. Hell, we won't even bother about the fact that when someone's walking you can catch their features in an odd-looking set as their heel hits the floor. No, we won't bother about any of that, we'll just make up some trivial about them being less than happy.

Oh, and we'll toss in a jibe about FIFA while we're at it too. Job's a good'n.

That doesn't even look like a particularly glum expression. More a neutral, muscles relaxed, neither-smile-nor-frown.

But then, if you expect plastic sleb beaming grins every time you point a camera in someone's direction, I suppose it looks "down in the dumps" by comparison.

Former Indian president frisked at an airport for the second time in two years
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-15711135

Seriously?

And an accredited ambassador whose status as a diplomat had been verified? Is it any surprise that the words 'out of control' and 'no sense of proportion' are running around my head like jackrabbits?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-16077237

The story itself, I have little problem with. It's the wording of the link on the BBC's England news page that takes you there:
"Play area left with just one ride over safety fears"

Don't know about you, but my first reaction (given the kind 'health and safety gone mad' kind of story the BBC likes to run) on reading that is 'Oh gawd, not another bloody over-cautious local council taking health and safety to the Nth degree and stopping kids from using the swings, roundabouts and slide'. But it isn't, if the local council's explanation is to be believed.

Jeez, the BBC is getting more like the Daily Fail every day.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-20066145

Looks like we're long past the days when you could get into the Dagenham Roundhouse for a quid and spend a damn good Saturday night in the company of Greenslade, Stackridge, The Heavy Metal Kids, Wishbone Ash, Ace, Manfred Mann's Earthband or Hatfield and The North. Hell, I saw Queen there for only a quid more. Billy Bragg for the same amount. My ticket for Genesis at the Liverpool Empire on the Selling England By The Pound Tour couldn't have been more than a fiver, if that. I doubt if I ever paid more than five quid to see XTC, Dire Straits, Talking Heads, Wings, Barry Manilow or The Clash.

Okay, I might have paid more than a fiver to see Barry... but, it's Barry!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-20178171
"It is not clear whether Mr Fisher will appeal against the judgement or whether he can pay the fine."

Seriously? Oh, I know there are people for whom a million and a half is, if not exactly pocket change, something they could pay without thinking about it, but there aren't too many of those around the world, so I'd say, on balance, no, Mr. Fisher probably can't pay the fine.

Hospital patients are drinking hand gel:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20404541

Dammit, I wish I'd known about that - we used to have Purell gel dispensers at work

Oh, no, wait, I mean... seriously?

Yeah, there was a story on the local news about the supposed 'epidemic' of teens doing likewise. I'm sure some are drinking it, but I really doubt it's as widespread as they suggested. Seriously, that stuff can't taste any better than it smells.

Bendy phones http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-20526577

But will it bend to fit the curves of the average human head? Seriously? I mean, there's a good reason why telephone headsets used to be this shape http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-20526577 and this shape http://www.htcnetworks.co.uk/7303%20trimphone.jpg and not this shape http://assets.inhabitat.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/1/files/2010/06/iphone4-LEAD.jpg or this shape http://www.biglots.com/images/large/810011315-2.jpg

Function is best, not form.

Oh bother. This should be the second link http://www.eurocosm.com/Application/Images/Teleph/ivory-bakelite-lg.jpg

Flip phones fit your ergonomic desires, but they were designed mostly to fit the aesthetics of Star Trek communicators.

I got a flip phone for that very reason, because I wanted something close to an old school handset with a mic that's actually by my mouth rather than halfway back to my ear (and because I got a contract free account and had to buy the phone - $20). It often gets a wry smile from everyone else when I get it out and they're all using a smartphone, which I can see the benefits of, and there are times when one would be handy. For instance, CapMetro have taken all the timetables off their bus stops and replaced them with a QR code that you point your phone at and it tells you when the next couple of buses are due, or maybe to entire day's schedule for that bus. I'm not sure, never having used it because my phone doesn't do QR codes, and I suspect a higher proportion of the bus-going public than those who own a car also have phones like mine, so that seems a bit of a strange decision to me.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21029444

After all the bad press the banks have got over the past few years for so many things, especially their part in the recession, they still haven't figured out that stuff like that makes them look arrogant and cynical? Seriously

The fact that they've decided not to do it now doesn't change anything. That they actually thought of it in the first place speaks reams.