h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know why I'm here.........I worked Saturday 7pm through to Sunday 9am, and do you think I was able to get to sleep afterwards? I've only just started working night-shifts so it's gonna take me a while to get used to it - I hope my tutors understand

If they don't, kill them... *hands a shovel* Hey, wait, am I being too murderous? *takes shovel back* Forget I said that... *flashes a MIB-flashy thing* You have been sleeping and none of that actually happened, you had a really weird dream about shovels but that's all...

It's really weird, but that's the *fourth* really weird dream I've had about shovels in the last couple of weeks - maybe I'm coming down with something....

*concerned*
You're dreaming about shovels? That's -really- weird... I wonder what might cause that sort of dreams...

I don't know, I'm normally the one causing dreams, so it's very disconcerting. I think I sniff a little Extraterrestriaali influence here.......

*innocent face*
Oh, really? Sounds weird...

Oh well, I guess if it's weird then it couldn't *possibly* have anything to do with you, being so straight-laced as you are...
*feigns indifference, and succeeds remarkably well, except for the agitated jumping up and down...*

Me? Now where did you get the impression it had something to do with *me*??
Why are you jumping up and down?

*I* never said it *did* have anything to do with you. Why, do you have a guilty conscience?

And I'm merely doing some exercises........

Who, me? No, why?

Exercise? That's good... *joins jumping up and down*

Okay, and now here comes the part of the exercise where we exercise our mouths by talking about all of the wacky dreams we've induced recently - I'll go first. There was this girl, right, and I drove her crazy by continually giving her dreams that she was the most wonderful person on Earth but that I was going to kill her anyway. Ha Ha! Your turn....

Hmm... I don't induce dreams...
Did you kill this person?

No of course you don't, but you may have reflected some of mine back on me - there are so many humans around, and you are the shovel-mistress.

Of course I didn't kill her - where's the fun in driving someone insane if they're dead?

If you think I can reflect dreams then all these weird dreams you've been seeing about shovels must be your own fault...

And why wouldn't that be fun? I think it could be... Or driving someone insane and then hit him so that he goes into coma and stick a fish into his mouth so that he has something to do when he wakes up... Don't ask me where that comes from... And it wasn't my idea!

There isn't much to do in Kirkkonummi, is there

Oh yes there is!! Why do you think there wouldn't be??

No reason - other than the obvious.... But perhaps you could enlighten me........I think I've got a spare few seconds...

No reason - other than the obvious.... But perhaps you could enlighten me........I think I've got a spare few seconds...

What do you want to be englightened about? How to go out with the dog into the forest before 6am so that you get a change to be longer online after...?

So you get to be online longer in a demonstration of how selfless and noble you are? That is an outstanding piece of.....something impressive, anyway