h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well my day consisted of going to hospital this morning for that endoscopy,,and its not a nice experience,and certainly dont want to go through it again,any dignity i had was left in that room,but on the plus side everything is okay,

I then went to town to get little-uns hair cut,although its still long,he just really wants long hair,so he just had a trim.,and then tonight ive been to trafford centre with me niece n a mate, for a quick moochy round,

You will have to let me know when Jakes band are playin and i will come and watch,i love gigs.What is the collective thing???
The loungs are playin citadel this saturday,with echo and the bunnymen playin too,but i'm at work till 10pm ,so i doubt i'll be going,but i may go for a drink,ive been invited out with me mates or me neice,so i dunno what to do.. but am in work sunday morning so i cant get too drunk.

Ive txt you by the way.....

Have a fantastic time,i'll miss ya for a week,take care

Hi Em

Hope you had a good birthday and perhaps had a little time to yourself to enjoy it.....you are still in your prime and have a great future a head of you, I am sure. As you know I have been out tonight and have had several drinks for you .

Well I dont think I have posted since my hols in Scotland......it was a very good holiday, went to loch ness and Cawder Castle which was were McBeth met his end ........ Glen Fiddich distillery was very good and also saw the dolphins on a boat trip from Cromatry on the black isle.

The problem in staying in a castle is that they were all smaller in the olden days..........the doorways were lower and as a result I have several scars to the top of my head !!!!!!. I wouldn't mind, but I first hit my head on day one........i ended up with a big gash on my head..........it had all healed but on the last day I went into the kitchen and forgot to duck and ended up with another nasty head injury.

Well that is the result of being an old bald bastard

well happy birthday my old mate

I am on my own this weekend so will post. She is off to her mothers.....perhaps we could meet.....I don't know really.....I love the fact that you are a stranger and still a friend.....what do you think ?......it's been over 2 years....we share so much....perhaps it is time...or perhaps it will never be time.....as you can tell I am drunk.....I think i may be too afraid to meet you ......r u so scary !!!!.

Well Em....love as ever....and my very best wishes

Heyyyyy David

How did you manage to type when you where so drunk????.

Anyway i'm abit tipsy meself tonight..so i will post 2moz....hope your okay,,,make sure ya fone is on,

xxxx

And nope am not scary,,,Well i maybe.idunno??????...infact i probably am,, ,,,,, i wudnt know me if i wer you heeeheeeee

Heyy David

If you come online tonight and would like a chat,give me a text.,

I haven't gone out tonight ,ive asked me sister could i have me nephew,as i haven't seen hi for a while..so i think i'll come into town tomorrow watch the team come home with the cup,then i think i'll take a trip too otterspool,and crosby beach with the kids.
anyway am only watching tv,thats as excitin as it gets for me...

chat later?? xxx

Hi Em .

Well I don't know how I managed to write such a sensible post when i was very drunk, I remember trying to concentrate and not make a fool of myself, i think I managed to some extent, but I kind of get all romantic when i am drunk and that is were all that 'lets meet' stuff came from , I still hope we will meet but not on some kind of blind date, we will be out in the same bar some night and bump into each other or you will have your car stolen and i will come round, something like that i hope. As I said i am too scared to meet you any other way....gosh you must scare me.....I don't think i have ever used the word 'gosh' before hehehe...that will be my new word for next week.

Well as usual we have been well and truly shafted at work, having to work 12 hours all week......don't get me wrong the murder was a tragedy but the police management as always only have one answer to any crisis and that is too keep everyone in work and cancel rest days. It makes us so pissed off, we aren't helping to find the killer or anything, those of us sent to liverpool just walk round doing nothing while the people in St Helens get a crap services as all the police are in liverpool. Yesterday I worked for 11 hours then had to deal with a sudden death got off two hours late. But I did have a half decent job, this lady had her car stolen outside boots on the retail park yesterday and today we stopped the car and arrested the theif so sometimes things work out well. And tomorrow is a bank holiday so the 12 hours will be at double time so I should earn about £300 !. Sorry to go on about work, don't mean to bore you .

Did see some of the saints home coming, everyone looked to be having a good time, not much of a rugby fan myself though, funny shaped balls . Hope you had a good day, no doubt you are out around town tonight, its always busy before a bank holiday. Did you get to the beach today ?.

Well as you are not around think I will go to bed.

Lots of love XxX David.....

Hello

Heyy David

Well i think you type fantastically normal when your drunk,alot better than me anyway.Even if you do become all romantic,and type stuff you don't really mean,yeah we may bump into each other,but i'll still be non the wiser that its you,at least you have seen me a couple times,so your aware of what to look out for..,i'm looking for a bald head,well thats most of the men round town then,heyyyy i dont want me car stolen,as crap as it is,i haven't the dosh to afford a new one,wow gosh....i love it,i think i'll use that word too.

Yeah its a terrible tragedy about that little boy,i truely hope they find the scumbag that did it.
Its awful the ammount of hours youv'e all had to do,you deserve a well earned rest,but why your loaded after those shifts,,you can buy the drinks in

No i didn't go out,,i know i amaze meself at times too,i decided to keep me nephew from sat-until today,now arnt i a great auntie,and we didnt go to saints nor the beach,but we did spend a few hours at otterspool in Liverpool,which was rather nice,would have been better had i had some adult company,.

Anyway some sad news tonight,i had nipped to The Micklehead earlier to meet the girls to discuss Blackpool this saturday,and when i arrived home,i noticed my back gate had been opened,and Dave was gone,he could be anywhere now,i just hope someone has taken him in tonight

How are you feeling tonight,,,and note that says how!!! and not what??...

Love..Em

Arived eh??..

Hi Em .

I must admit that you do post entertaining posts when you are drunk, I look forward to them. I do post things that I mean when i have had a few, but gosh, at least I mean them when I post them . Anyway not all men round town are bald most just shave their heads to look dead hard, I just shave mine cos I aint got much !, I'm dead soft.

All the overtime is good , I think as I said i earned about £300 today, but it was a long day, I was stuck in a holding cell with a very smelly criminal who had been throwing bricks at cars from off a bridge over the Linkway, the only thing that kept me going was texting you. If i do see you i will certainly buy you a glass of lemonade.

Gosh what bad news......but who is Dave......a rabbit ? or a dog.....or have you got some unfortunate bloke chained up in your yard ? Perhaps you should call the police

Heeeheeeheee ,well my post amuse me too,when i read them the day after,and not even realising ive posted.,but gosh i'm glad i keep you amused.

But yeah most of the blokes are just idiots anyway weather their bald or not.
Yeah i wondered why you were txtin so much,when of course your meant to be working, and happy to be of service

Lemonade???? your having a laugh,gosh i hope theres a vodka in there too.

Heeeheee yeah dave is some poor unfortunate sod that couldnt escape me,No its Dave me dog,i thought you were aware of me dogs name,i'm sure i would be done for wasting police time over a dog

No I never knew you had a dog, funny though the other day I saw this lady walking a dog down Robins lane and I noticed that she had a rather large chest !!not that I was looking or anything, well she had hair that in a style that matched yours so I thought 'Gosh i wonder if that is Em' but i did not know you had a dog then.

Hope Dave returns safe and well, has someone stolen him ? is he valuble and will your son be upset if he does not come back ?. tricky things these dogs, you get so emotionally attached to them, well hope he is ok, but he sounds a bit gay with a name like Dave !, not that there is anything wrong with a gay dog.

So you want some vodka in your lemonade, see what I can do, think I could just afford that.

BTW I was working when texting you, he was very smelly and had a spliff down his underpants...the things I have to do

heeeheeehee your a loon tonight,i'm glad all this work hasn't taken away your sense of humour.

I have told you in past i'm sure,because if you remember back to last year when i had the builders in and they left the doors open so he went missing for three days,gosh i think you must be loosing your memory
And gosh i think i must have a twin,as that wasn't me walkin Dave.,
He was a stray dog on which i took in anyway,and in all honesty i was going to get rid of him anyway,but not by this means,i had phoned boxer-dog rescue about him to see if they could come and take him.,
I have told me lad and he was a little upset,but i think-he thinks we could maybe get him back again like last time.
I thought Dave was a pretty cool name for a dog,i used to dress him up aswell in england t-shirts,and dress him up at halloween,but i dont think he's gay,aww dont say that about me dog,i have horrible images in me head now

Hey and if your feeling generous you can always make it a double vodka, hows that for cheek eh??,bet you didn't see that one coming,,oh yeah i can be extremely cheeky when i want to be.
I hope this person wasn't reading me messages too,he would have had a right laugh,,does that mean you had to strip search him,lucky you.

So you dress your dog up at halloween ? , no wonder he ran away, its only a couple of months away, bet he couldn't bare the thought of wearing a pointed witches hat and a black cloak and going trick or treating, all the other dogs must have took the piss out of poor Dave.

Yep i had to strip search him, when I brought him in he kept putting his hands down in his shorts, well i know most men do that most of the time, but as it turns out he tying to hide a spliff.....not a pretty sight....I wont go into detail.

Well Em off to bed now been up since 7 and have worked 48 hours in the last 4 days.....thanks you have been a laugh today and helped keep me going.

Love David Xxx

heeeheee,yeahh he dressed up as a devil,and he loved it,and he got treats too so he probably didnt care that he was laughed at.

Heyy it cant be any worse than what i have to deal with in work

Goodnight and Sweetdreams,thanks for such a laugh today

As you could guess I was drinking wine while txting you before, and I was playing about with my mobile when it fell into the glass and was submerged in Shiraz, I tried to dry it off but it appears knacked. I will see what it is like in the morning, if it still wont work I will have to get myself a new one. Was thinking of getting one of them ipod phones so we will have to see. Am I stupid or what

Love David xXx

dont go ..am here

Heyyy David

Yeah extremely silly of you,gosh how did you manage that??
Although i have myself destroyed a fone by droppin in in a puddle of water,,.

anyway my head is still swelled

ohh dont tell me youv'e gone already??,i even posted about 5mins after you aswell,and i cant even txt you now

Sorry Em I cheched to see if you were on line before I posted but you weren't so I went off to bed.

Well I checked my phone this morning and it is still knacked so looks like I will have to go to town and but myself a new one today.

Its just one thing after another, gosh I am not even sure I can afford a new phone, I hardly ever use them, no one ever phones me and I get about two text a week. But I do fancy one that can play music.

Anyway will be silly again and post my new number, that is if I can't keep my old one.

Love David XxX