h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Walter,

Just remember life isn't a made up of a series of battles with people you really don't care about, so when things get a bit tough just let a Monty Python skit run through your head, and appropriate one would be "is this the 10 minute argument or the half hour one". And if you can keep the smile off you face after running through a few of them it might help to keep your cool.

When my boys were starting school, there was to be appointed a head that I, and a number or concerned parents, did not want. So we started a program to not have her appointed, which in those days was revolutionary. We did not like her philosophies on teaching, and we were proved correct by her work at later schools. We did succeed. I got on to school council and stayed there, some years they were begging for more participants. By the time my boys were in grade 5 & 6 some of the parents with younger children though my ideals ( although still radical in there ways) were not what they wanted. So they enlisted enough voters to the meeting to vote me out. That was good in a way it was there younger children they were supporting and mine were going on. At that point I was a cub leader and that was much more fun anyway

Yes my vested interest was my children and I think that was the vested interest of the others also.

Got to get back to work, got a lot of typing. I have my mother here typing a menu at 30 words an hour , but it is faster than me not being able to do it at all.

See ya soon

anyone who ply's good cheer in me I'm sure doesn't have an anterior motive.




Joanie

Hi Moondancer,

The advice re keeping my cool is sound, thank you, but it's hard to follow when your temperament is as volcanic as mine.

Well, it may be that some people who plied you with Christmas cheer didn't have an ulterior or an anterior motive - unless they had read one of your sensuous poems. I just had an idea for your business, although I know it is probably far too late - use your poetical talents to establish a niche. Poetry on a sandwich board outside the shop, 'poetry to order' for clients who don't have the gift but want to impress their partners or people they are hoping will be their partners. Poetry for people who want to put special messages inside greetings cards. Joanie, you would be a sensation. Think also about an 'erotic poetry' phone line, although stress this is art we are talking about, not another medium for crass pornography. I can see it now, the dollars rolling in. Can I please be your manager (fees by negotiation but somewhere in the forty per cent range sounds about right, and I get to drink the champagne because it wouldn't do for you to be getting pissed while you are supposed to be writing and earning us money).

Take care,

Clive

Honestly men!!!!

I told my husband about your idea, and he said good idea anything would be better than this. That was just after I had some business cards made for a man who said I spelt them wrong and he won't take them. I spelt "Licenced Cafe" with 2 c's and he insists that it should be "Licensed Cafe" with an s. My printer said that two c's is the Australian spelling and that c and s, is the American.
So my printer won't reprint them at cost for me. And I have to see what I can do about getting some money off this guy. Do I get them reprinted and at least get something off this guy or do I fight it and get nothing.

I have been up till 1 am the last two mornings making up a schedule for the local bowels club for their tournament. Fitting 160 manes on an A3 sheet showing their times and dates of their matches. They always give these jobs at the very last minute when they have tried them selves and found they cant do it. Fortunately I had some on-line encouragement from the other side of the world or I would not have finished it.

Were you feeling left out that you had not got an erotic poem. The poems that I write are to and for and about people, and our relationship was not that sought, The poem I wrote you I had you totally in mind, when I wrote the other one I was having a hot and steamy relationship with someone. And the poem was suitable.

I have got to go My sister has arrived and I will see you later.

Lots a of love Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

I have missed you.

Your chat about business cards got me to thinking like, what is a business card? A status symbol, a way of saying hey look, I've got credibility and status, because of this little card. Really cool people have them but don't need them, and really cool people don't exchange them. I'm not among the really cool people, but I don't have business cards. Well, that's not quite true, 500 were made up for me when I started in this job, and I still have 400 plus of them in my drawer, sixteen years later; about the only thing that hasn't changed is my name, although that's a strange thing to say coming from someone who signs himself Walter of Colne. Perhaps I have changed, perhaps I am now more a Walter of Colne than a Clive. The secret life of Walter of Colne (Mitty)!! Or Jekyll and Hyde. Do you remember the mask poem that I wrote?

No, I am not feeling left out because you did not write an erotic poem for me. On the contrary, I am thrilled with the special one I have. Anyway, I don't think I could handle one directed at me rather than one I just happened to read that was intended for someone else. No, what I was trying to say, not too successfully it seems, is that you have this marvellous knack of writing an extraordinary poem that is as sensuous and evocative as it is possible to get, without in any way reverting to coarseness or obscenity or vulgarity. It is a real class act.

I will be back in the office on 27 December, but today is my last at work before the break.

Joanie, to you and your family, our very best wishes for a lovely Christmas, and may the New Year bless you with good health and happiness. We will toast you on Christmas Day.

In the meantime, here are some of my very special hugs and kisses, just for you. And not a sprig of mistletoe in sight. Talk with you soon, lovely lady.

Clive Walter

Hi Walter,

I have missed you too.

You are right about business cards, they tell people about you if you use them the right way. Just like the names and persona's we give our selves on here.

I have only been writing poems since I have been on the internet, and mostly I write about the people I meet on here, and the strong emotions they evoke. This is because I feel people drop their masks and show the real people underneath. And I have discovered some really beautiful people, not in the yuppy sense but the ones with golden hearts, the sought that when you go away from them you think, now that was a person worth knowing, and you are on that I put in that group.

I thought you would be interested, you remember I said my sister got a dozen bottles of for Christmas. Well she arrived last week with only 6 bottles. Admitted that she had already drunk 6 of them, I said "O well looks like you have drunk yours" and the brat said No I drunk Garry's.(meaning ours) now what do you do with a sister like that. Go buy another 12 bottles .

I wish you and your lady, a very great Christmas. And a healthy New Year. As I am going to try and steel the days between off I may not see you again till next year.

oh blast my trees fell over again

Love Joanie

Hi stranger,

I guess if I read enough other peoples articles I get to know when some friends get back from the big smoke. I hope your had a wild New Year up there, and they wowed you with their fireworks show.

For me and mine we slid gently into this first year of the new millennium without a splash, hardly causing a ripple. Here is hoping the year that begins quietly will just quietly improve, rather than the one that began with a bang and exploded blowing everything out of its way all the year.

I am glad to see you back :-.

Hello Moondancer,

A very Happy and Healthy New Year to you, and how welcome it is to hear from you.

Sydney was great; thank goodness for cheap air fares. I hadn't realised what a difference there is between living somewhere and visiting the place as a tourist. You not only see things from a completely different perspective, you also act completely different: carefree, smiling, a million miles away from daily reality and familiar sights, sounds and people. Saw the fireworks on TV, on the basis that if you've seen one fireworks display on Sydney Harbour you've seen them all. But saw the Centenary of Federation parade on New Years Day and it was excellent, especially Tasmania's contribution which I thought was best on ground. It was only a short break, but one of the few holidays where I wasn't busting to get back home.

Enough about me, what about you, sweet lady? Are you still the proprietor of the business, or have you unloaded it by now? And what did Santa bring you? Did you get to the Junction Oval yesterday for that super-cool cricket match between Australia and Victoria: I wish I could have been there, it sounds absolutely how I think cricket games should be and should be played. Take care,

Walter.

Hi Walter,

I am glad you are back, you take the least amount of nonsense from me than anyone does .

About the fireworks, as I have not yet had the pleasure to be in Sydney at a fireworks session, how would I know. .

Yes I am still the reluctant proprietor if my shop, all the legal eagles have gone on holidays so nothing happens till they get back to work. So they have successfully messed up my holidays for this summer. Not to worry, I am sure I have plenty more to come, if not I won't notice anyway.

Santa brought me the promise of a trip to Tamworth and since I won't get that we spent the money on a new washing machine. Got to do something before it leaks a hole in the floor and we all fall through.

And no I didn't get to the cricket match, as a working lady I could not get there. But if you come over I will shut the shop, put a sign on the door "GONE TO THE CRICKET WILL BE BACK WHEN IT FINISHES" and we can go and make a day of it. Please tempt me, tempt me we can play hooky together.


I am pleased you are back

Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

A new washing machine might be a very necessary thing, but it is not quite my idea of a Christmas present.

May be in Melbourne earlier, but certainly me and the beloved are there in May, for the Centenary of Federation do (the anniversary of the opening of the first federal parliament in the Exhibition Building). Maybe we should catch up with each other, or do you think that could ruin the magic? People often tell me that I ruin magic, I must be that sort of person. I would love to play hookey (gee, have to be careful with spelling there) with you; I did it a lot as a child, got into some awful trouble during and because of it, but nowadays few notice if I am absent without leave and even fewer care. So it is sweet of you to offer - I wish someone had made that offer all those years ago.

So, if I am in Melbourne during the next month, I will drift into your shop, grab your arm and sweep you out of the place and straight over to the nearest cricket match or, if there isn't one on, to the nearest seedy boozer. No words will be spoken except 'don't forget to lock up'. With my luck, I'll grab your arm and you will give me a right kicking and call the police and have me arrested. And through bleeding swollen mouth I will splutter 'but, I am Walter' and you will be telling the Bill 'never seen him before in my life'.

Still, I'll check the cricket schedule. Or bone up on the seedy watering hole.

I've signed up for Latin this year, although it could be that I decide to have the year off from uni. On the other hand, if I do it and pass, it would complete my degree. They won't let me do any more history or classics and are forcing me to undertake one further first-year subject, hence Latin rather than say sociology or environmental studies. Many universities let you take a degree in history, but Tasmania as usual is a little behind the fashion. Although to be really honest, I don't much care about the degree itself. The really important thing, to me, was discovering that I was capable of doing a degree. Take care,

Walter.

Hi Walter,

Not to worry, if you come into my store and say "I'm Walter lets find somewhere interesting to go" I will have to door locked and be out it in a flash. I never played hooky at school and I always envied those brave enough to do it.

And if not here before, We (husband and I)would be delighted to meet up with you and your beloved i8n May. And if the magic of a friendship is ruined by meeting it was not a friendship to start with.

Latin, wow, so when I ramble along in philosophical terms you can answer me in and ancient tongue.

You remember that "Ancient Sites" place that you could not work out how to get into. Well I am meeting a group of girls from it that live in Melbourne, and one from Adelaide tonight to do a bit of Real Life boozing in the Quiet Man Irish Pub, tonight so that should be interesting.

I agree about the sociology, I did it one year, and I did quite well. But it was not something I could get very interested in.
Now I would not mind doing Koori studies and even go into the languages a bit.

You take care too and don't work too hard.



Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

No risk of me working too hard. It is as quiet as a church mouse in here at the moment: it is 2.30 and I think the phone has rung twice or maybe three times, and two people have called in. Such a contrast to the frantic activity of the last few months of the old year. Still, relax and enjoy, because it won't last forever. Actually, I was going to play hookey this afternoon, but a friend said there was a change coming and it would get cloudy and rainy and cool mid-afternoon. So I believed the twit, didn't I? And it is just perfect out there.

How exciting that you are meeting up with some friends you have made at Ancient Sites. Me, I would be very, very nervous at being seen in person, as distinct from persona. I don't think anyone can completely conceal themselves on a site like this, sooner or later bits of the mask fall away. But one thing that doesn't get exposed is what we look like, all the horrible unwanted and cursed bits that you can't normally hide or disguise. So I would be very tensed-up, although after that 'magic' had been blown up I guess everything would be reasonably okay. It's all right for you, being a cracking sort, but us plain lookers have to think about that sort of thing! :-

I would have liked to do what is called Aboriginal Studies here at the uni of Tassie, but they dropped the course three or four years ago, which I think is a real shame, because if you want to get serious about Australian history there is an enormous amount before white settlement and it is equally interesting, if not more so, than the cringed-up pseudo larrikin but essentially Anglo-Saxon stuff doing the rounds at the moment.

Talk with you soon,

Walter.

Hi Walter,

I had a great night last night with the people from AS.
One of the girls had come over from Adelaide and had gone to the cricket, and a guy from Ballarat had gone with her so they were an hour late getting to the pub, which was a very nice Irish pub.

The cricket was a bit slow so they got passes into the long room, and went out the back and she had her photo taken leaning against Shane's car, hahaha,

Me thinks you are a bit too preoccupied that others will think you funny looking, that must be because you are making faces at yourself in the mirror. Well don't. The wind will change and you will stay like that.

We had a scorcher of a day yesterday, up over 40 deg. And I think I had 4 customers and I took $20. Waist of time turning the machines on. Not to worry I will be out of here soon and FREEDOM .

When my mother had her youngest koori girl and was battling to keep her in school, she took her to an aboriginal school in Healsville I went with her and had a look at it, It looked great it taught aboriginal art, dancing, history and language. It had kids from all over, from Darwin and Broom as well and the Victorian ones.
But it didn't help her she still played up and ran away from school.

I have this theory that I am working on, about the closer they are to the roots (that is trying to be tactfully)they break out at 13 and in normal tribal life they would be annunciated then and considered adults. Not us Celtic's we are a little more refined we keep them under our wing till they are 26. .

I found a guy on AS and I asked him what he was doing at 13, and he said fighting being Native American, out in the desert, hunting, fishing and mixing with a few male friends. Then the penny dropped for him and said doing exactly what I should have been doing.

It is difficult for them because they have two or more cultures in their heads, because I believe that people have race memories and instincts just like animals.

So that is enough babbling on from me.
If today looks as bad as yesterday I advise you to play hokey, I intent to.

See ya soon

Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

Well, so while I was being bored witless, watching Shane bowling for no return, your drinking companions were posing with his car! It sounds like you had a beaut evening, what time did you pull up stumps?

Your comments about indigenous culture and ways are very thought-provoking, and I hadn't considered the issue from those angles until you mentioned them. My beloved has pointed out to me that it is essentially all to do with being "other" and who is "in" and who is "out"; she thinks exclusion or marginalisation is essentially determined by what we as individuals are not rather than by what we are. That may sound like playing with words because I probably haven't expressed the beloved's opinion properly, but she argues that, for instance, if you are not a man you are straight away at or on the margins, or if you are not white you are straight away "other", or if you don't wear your hair conventionally you are "other" and so on. In other words, I think, society establishes the criteria, the rules, what is expected of those who wish to "belong" and if you want to stay there you must be able to tick the boxes on the checklist. Some assertion of individuality can be tolerated, some departure from the norms, but overall each member conforms, does not transgress the unwritten but absolute rules. I'm probably not making much sense, but what's new? Take care,

Walter.

Hi Walter,

I am showing my age, midnight and I start to wilt decidedly.
Yes about the friend on the car and she said he had a pkt of cancer sticks on the dashboard.

That is an interesting theory your beloved has, (does I, now dragging out the sociology study I tried to forget).

The concept of "other", "in" and "out" would differ with which ever culture you are looking at. What is "normal" and "other" for one culture is not necessarily the same for another culture. Amazing as it is there is sure to be a culture somewhere where being a woman does not automatically put you in the other category. And somewhere where the colour of the skin makes you an "in" and not an "out".

But what I am talking about is that we have dragged these people out of the stone age in a mear 200 years. And they still have the same gens in them that enabled them to survive their existence.

I have just had this girl in my shop, I think she is absolutely georgious, she has this Irish red hair that would stand out horizontal from her head if she didn't have it tied back in a knot, and this beautiful white pail skin with dirty fairy foot prints all over her face and arms, and I know she has a temper that goes with the hair. But I always give her good service and she always makes me smile, which has very little to do with the subject but I thought I would tell you anyway. Amazingly some cultures may not recognise her for the powerful and competent woman she is.

Ok I have spent all day getting this letter written and it is nearing Friday afternoon, have a great weekend. And I will see you around on Monday


Moondancer

Hi Walter,

Have you talked to Pan lately, now would be a good time to get back to her.

Love Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

How did you survive the weekend heat? I worked most of yesterday digging through clay - really concrete-like clay - and by late afternoon I must have been two kilos lighter through liquid loss. So me and the beloved sat on the verandah and finished off a white wine cask and then drank a bottle of lambrusco, after which my legs wouldn't work properly which is probably because I had worked so hard.

I haven't chatted with Pandora for ages, she sort of went off the chat line I used to catch her on, but I will take your advice and try to re-locate her.

Walter

Hi Walter,

I did nearly as good as you, the council thinks that the blackberries are getting too big in my place, which after 2 years not chasing them they have just got away from us, so i spent the weekend when I wasn't doing washing with my NEW WASHING MACHINE, chopping up blackberries and not a one of them was black. Every last one was green So I have red prickle marks all over my hands and arms.
And I also missed the Lambrusca .

Have a read of "My Pictures" on my site that is where I talk to Pan It might explain a bit. And I expect you to have enough nouce to know she probably need friends.

Things are progressing here I will tell you when we have anything definite, when they are on our door step with a cheque in their hand.

And just because you didn't offer me one doesn't mean to say I would not offer you one.

Love Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

What sort is your new washing machine? I like our washer, but the dryer is mounted on the wall above, which means I often smash my head on the dryer when fossicking inside the washer trying to retrieve the last sock or handkerchief.

Blackberry is a right sod, but how come you are infested with it? You must have more ground than the average buidling block. What were you cutting them with? I spent years at my last place trying to control or eradicate blackberry by using a brush cutter, mowers, slashers, machetes, but it is a hard task and if left for any length of time the little monsters return bigger and stronger than ever which I think is one of the penalties for 'pruning' them. My ex-neighbour used to poison them, which I won't do, and another used to burn them and that seemed to be reasonably effective. I wander round the new place 'on patrol' for any blackberry sightings, and there are a few, but vigilance is the key especially given the property next to me is just overgrown with scrub and blackberry.

And please accept my offer of a glass or three of lambrusco. But remember, it is only a little more than four standard drinks per bottle, or so the beloved informed me as we swigged away on the verandah, so we would probably need at least two bottles to ease the soreness of tired muscles and blackberry scratches.

Walter

Hi Walter,

Thank you for the lambrusco, your beloved is right, with two people there are only two drinks each out of a bottle. So obviously we need more than one bottle.

My house is situated in the centre of a 1/2 an acre of bush on the side of a mountain. It has two pocket handkerchief size pieces of flat land all the rest is steeply sloping mountain goat country. Actually I once borrowed a goat and he had a lovely time, clambering around eating azaleas. And the blackberries encroach from almost all sides. I need more than vigilance.

I didn't work today, my husband and I went to Bendigo to a funeral. Maldon actually, we said good buy to a treasure of a man, he was my husbands uncle and he died of cancer, he was 70 but there is a big hole in this world with him going. He spent his life in writing, mostly in newspapers, up until the last week of his life he was still putting in a weekly letter into his local paper, he was actively writing letters to help save the ABC.

He was one of the most knowledgeable people I have ever met, he read everything he got his hands on, he is the only person I know who had read Darwin, Marks and Hitlers book. You have to know what others are saying before you can truly judge what is right and wrong.

I asked his wife if I could help her catalogue his writing, I would hate to see it lost and I would like to get a chance to rereads his works, his shed is full of his paintings and his poems and his letters. There is so much treasure there.

The sale of the shop won't be through in time to go to Tamworth this year. But friends have been offered a holiday house for the weekend in Flinders (just stick the toffy nose in the air) and have invited to use it with them. Weekend in a beach house is better than nothing. That is next weekend.

So that is all my news for now, big hugg for you and your beloved.

Love Moondancer

Hi Moondancer,

Sorry no message yesterday but h2g2 seemed to be down, yet again. The first time I got in my page had disappeared except for a number, and after that it wouldn't let me in at all. The site is certainly going through some hiccups compared with when I first came on six months or so ago.

Your uncle sounds something special, and I don't know anyone who has read Darwin, Marx and Hitler, so he must have been a really well-read and informed man. You make his shed sound like Aladdin's cave, full of treasures, waiting to be explored and enjoyed. If you do catalogue his output, it would be a wonderful thing to do to commemorate the life and spirit of someone that you obviously cared for a great deal.

So you may holiday in Tasmania after all; Flinders Island being a part of the Island State. I've not been there, so have no idea how it rates, but a weekend away on an island definitely has possibilities. I don't really know much about Tamworth either, except that it is very country music sort of stuff, and everyone drives four wheelers or utes and wears Akubras and moleskins, and that's just the sheilas. And they drink Tooheys, one of the world's truly ordinary beers.

We are still planning to travel to Europe next year, either in Spring or Autumn, although even at this stage Autumn looks a better proposition because it will give us an extra six months to save up and with luck the beloved will have finished her degree by then. Not really quite sure where we will end up, but England and Bruges are on the 'definite' list. Then maybe somewhere in Italy, like Verona or Peruggia, and the beloved has a hankering for Portugal. A lot of people are giving big wraps to Prague, which certainly does look like a beautiful city, but another one that looks really good and is not yet on the main tourist trail is Budapest. I also have a yen for Salzburg and Vienna, but as always the problem is not a shortage of finding interesting places to go to but rather that you can't fit in all the destinations that you would like to.

Anyway, for now hugs and kisses. I am going to breakfast with a colleague who is leaving this week and moving to Melbourne to live and work. I don't usually eat brekkie, but will try something light, like toast, just to keep up the spirit of things.

Walter.