h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Walter,

I see you are interested in Ancient Romans, and Middle Age Europeans. I also am interested in them and have done a little study of them. I find it a fascinating subject.
Of course, I suppose with you two heads you would find study a lot easier.

Gooday Moondancer,

First you call Sydney a toilet and now you are getting personal with Tasmanians. If you don't stop these unjustified attacks I won't mention how much I liked your poem. So there! And anyway, I'm not Tasmanian, I just live here because it was the only place on earth where I could find an employer who would give me a job.

Would you like to get medieval?

Walter

Oh well if your not a borne Tasmanian you won't have come equipped with the extra head.
Thanks I'm glad you like the poem.

And getting medieval sounds fun, do I get a big sward

Hi again Moondancer,

No you do not get a big sword. Medieval women wear tall conical hats, pluck lyres and such like, give scarves to their favourite jousters, spin fine cloth that never seems to get woven into anything, ride side-saddle on white palfreys, and have lots of babies. But they do not have swords, big or otherwise. Well, there are exceptions, like Joan of Arc, but they usually meet sticky ends.

On second thoughts, do you want to get Roman?

Walter.

Yes I would love to get Roman. Women had more power in those days. They didn't need swords, they had their wit and their tongues (for rumour spreading). And they had slaves to look after the house, and a captured Greek scholar the look after the children.
Roman times was a high time for women, they welded a lot of unseen power.
In addition, they wore flimsy flowing gowns.

Hi Moondancer,

Hmm. Not sure about those Greek slaves around the house, they were usually quite uppity because of their supposedly superior learning and often a bit too handy with the mistress of the house. I am not one to be easily swayed by the thought of flowing, flimsy gowns. Budding historians must be able to rise above such distractions. And anyway, I am still sulking because of your shameless flirting with Mustapha, who I have it on very good information is a notorious tart.

Walter.

The Greek slaves are absolutely essential. What self respecting roman household could survive with out a Greek slave or two or more . You call yourself civilised? Who would massage my feet after a hard day gossiping at the market, and you know how important it is that I bring home all that vital information I glean from the other senators' wives.

And besides a woman of my standing must gain some privileges, after all that I do for you.

So I don't want to heat anything more about the Greek slaves and how long they take to attend to my bath.

And as for Mustapha we are only drinking buddies, and that is all I'm saying.

Who are you to talk I read the dialogue you had with Pandora, why such a lovely lady would spend her time dallying with you I will never know.

Hi Moondancer,

Pandora and me don't dally. You are right, she is a lovely lady, a fantastic sort, and she is certainly too discerning to dally with the likes of me, more's the pity. But she is kind enough to humour me. What you and that fickle strumpet Mustapha get up to is of course your business, but flaunting your association with such a dissolute type ill-behoves someone aspiring to the highest reaches of Roman society. I suppose you are attracted to him because he is the President/founder of the h2g2 Historical Society, whereas I am a mere apprentice historian.

Also, I would not under any circumstances envisage or indeed permit the feet of an aristocratic Roman matron to be massaged by a Greek slave, not unless he was minus the odd essential feature or so.

While I think you assume the role of Roman aristocrat as if to the manor born, and evoke some wonderful images, your penchant for boozing with knowm miscreants, and your somewhat alarming attitude to the Greeks leads me quickly to suggest that on third thoughts, would you like to get Viking? Do take good care of yourself,

Walter.

I'm not to sure about Vikings. I don't think the place of a lady Vikings was a good one. They came from a cold climate, even then, you can tell by the clothing, I think their work was drudgery, and their men were hefty hammer wielding oafs.

Also I don't know if they had a written language, no books, nothing good to read. The art was a bit primitive but interesting.

I am a bit inclined to like finer things in life. I would consider Ancient Egyptian, or Minoan, now that could be interesting.

I don't really know Mustapha, I'll have to take a closer look at him you make him sound interesting.

Someone aspiring to reach the height of any society must know how to associate with all people

Hi Moondancer,

But really, one of your obvious breeding and taste must eschew the riff raff, and have contempt for the hoi polloi. Plebs is plebs and patricians do it easy and snooty.

You have aroused my interest in Vikings, I kinda like the way you described the male role. I know absolutely nothing about the Minoan era, and very little more about Ancient Egypt, but it's your call. So far, the Roman era is in front, if only we could keep the Greeks in their place and Mustapha away from you. You decide.

Walter

Hi Walter,

I will think that over at the moment I'm going home to watch the Olympics. The Minoan's were on Crete before the volcano went off. They were the bull dancers.

see you cant miss the opening ceremony

Hi Moondancer,

This is where we first met - I can't believe you could have forgotten so quickly. You are just so fickle; you should be called Mimi. It was really odd you suggesting the 'What's your favourite city' forum because no-one had been there for days. Everyone seems to have rediscovered the conversation since your post.

Why do you have to talk with the tax man? Everyone else I know does it in writing. And what sort of customers? Someone else told me that smileys were "colon, hyphen, end bracket", which comes out like which is a smiley on its side, but not the sort that I wanted to learn. And did you know that LOL was 'loads (or lots) of laughs'? This Internet shorthand takes some learning, but if I don't ask I'll never get the hang of it. Take care,

Walter.

Hi Moondancer,

Jeez I feel like a dill. Having posted that last note to you, a little yellow smiley has appeared. Please accept it as a gift, a token of friendship. What I would really like to discover is whether one can send flowers, like daffodils, or snowdrops, or lilacs. Do you have any info on this advanced technology?

NB This is just practice.

Walter.

Hi Walter,

we did first meet on favourite cities when I called Sydney a toilet. Which I didn't really mean.
I wasn't using here because we were roll playing here but yes this is more our spot.
I don't know about how to send flowers, I was wondering how you had sent Pandora the snowdrops.
I can show you the faces and I knew about the LOL but I never use that I always hahahahaha.

: then - then ) =
; then - then ) =
: then - then ( =
: then - then P =
8 then - then ) =

I run a printing shop and I am suppose to be working while I'm on here chatting, and the tax man came to try and explain about our first GST payment .

I'm not really fickle I just try to give that impression

Hi Moondancer,

Yes, I figured that out already.

How could I forget that it was 'favourite cities'? I only went in there to put in another mention of Earls Colne. Pandora's snowdrops were ESP snowdrops, although she thought they were snowdrops as in snowflakes since she had never seen snowdrops the flowers.

What's a printing shop - is that like photos and stuff, or where you use printing machines and equipment and stuff, or is it something else again?

Now your smileys have come out as writing - there is nothing after the 'equals' sign. Maybe it has to be posted before they appear properly.

Walter.

hi,

the smiles are there on my page, try the instructions anyway.

I do photocopy printing, colour and black and white, laminating, binding and anything else an office would do, private mailboxes and a little stationery. I am running it on my own now, My husband got a real job to pay the bills and my son got sick of working for food and board. So I am on my own and not enough work or customers (we are going broke) so I discovered h2g2 and I'm not going mad any more.

What I can do is scan pictures that way they can be sent by email
If you would like me to send you something to send to Pandora I can do that

Hi Moondancer,

What a sweetie, thank you very much for that offer. I, too, have to do some work, so will chat longer with you later. SN = snowdrop for you, too.

Walter.

Hi Moondancer,

I like the sound of your business, it does neat things or at least things that I think are neat and useful, if not essential. But are you serious, is the business really going bad? Are you in the city or the suburbs?

Walter.

Hi Walter,
Yes I'm serious, I have put the business on the market this week. It is going very bad. Part of a franchise most of the others are doing ok, but we are so far down the drain it will probably take years to get out. We are on the edge of the CBD, and the business will work here eventually, but we have put so much money into it we cannot get it out. Poof went the super in 2 years. Any one who buy's it will get the benefit of all the marketing and public awareness I have done, and if they buy a business they should have a bit of cashflow. We have hit the bottom of the well haven't had a wage ion two years.

Sorry I just threw this up on you. I have just finished an e-mail to "our corporate office - franchisor" as they were threatening us with their lawyers that we have not payed the royalty fee on time. We thought the rent was more important, and when you are down everyone like to put the boot in.

If they kick us out we will take the dog and go on the wallaby

Moondancer,

Sorry, all these questions but I forgot to mention that I caught up with your 'New Views of the Material World' article. StM's posting suggests it got up on to the Peer Review Page, whatever that is exactly, but I couldn't find it to post my ten cents worth. I recently did a uni essay on the concept of Purgatory and the corruptible body which drew on Aristotelian/Platonic metaphysical and philosophical theory. That's my excuse, but how come your interest? And sorry, I nearly forgot again, that is one fine piece of work: I hope that it gets official approved status - it deserves to.

Also read 'Running'. Unsettling.

Walter.