h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Solnushka
It's been a long time!
Happy New Year to you, and I hope you had a good Christmas.
Pinniped
(Sorry about the bad pun above. There was an album long, long ago called "Whale Meat Again" I think, so I'm not even being original. Now who was that by? I reckon it might have been Jim Capaldi...)

Pun much appreciated, actually!

Happy New Year to you too!!!

Just lurking .
Yes it was Jim Capaldi.
Greetings to you Solnushka , or even drasvitye.
Wish I had your vivid colour sense. Myself, I d like to be a worker with light, but there's too few sockets in my flat to install my tunsten lamps and I think they'd be too hot to put colourd gels in front of them ( But perhaps the bonobos who live in the trees in the hall could help....).

Cheers! My vivid colour sense is all literary I'm afraid and brobably brought on by being forced to critique 'sons and lovers' at an impressionable age (sometimes the sky is just blue, you know?). My flat is a uniform shade of brown.

What on earth is a bonobo? And it lives in trees in the hall? And is a certified electrition? Enquiring minds need to know...

Damn and blast my last effort just disappeared into the ether.
Hey, don't step on my D.H. shoes! Old Lawrence and I share the same dialect and I love lots of his works. Sons and Lovers I have problems with, partly because of having an image of Oliver Reed and somebody wrestling in the nude. I remember the skies as sometimes being blue in it ( as they often are in North Notts ).

Explanations:-

Bonobos are pygmy chimpanzees who live in the Congo region. They are highly intelligent, into free sex, and much loved by language reearchers, ( the three may not be unconnected).

Yes, all my bonobos have qualifications in electronics and rocket science. (I have such a job keeping them away from the silver nitrate and the sugar).

They live in the hall as their idea of a public loo is height and gravity. But , give them their due, they do collect it all once a week and put it on my potted plants. In between times I wear a large hat and am very nimble on my feet. A mild inconvenience, but worth it for seeing them change a plug with their feet.

Where do you keep your imaginary animals?

Steady on, old chap...some of us ARE imaginary animals...

Pinniped

Well, apart from Pinniped ( ) I think there was a cat around here somewhere *looks around vaugely* but it seems to have wandered off. You know how they do.

I like your monkeys though. I shall keep them in mind if I have major rewiring to do, or feel like doing a bit of language research...

And I'll definitely wear a hat if I come and visit. I already have the boots though, so that's ok.

I'm afraid I loathed S & L. I hated all the characters without exception. I am only moderatedly reconciled to having been made to read it by the fact that I grudgingly admit DH was an exceptionally good writer.

*waves enthusiastically to Pinniped and throws him a whole crate of fish*

Oops.

If some denizens are imaginary animals, who is imagining them? ( Very zen, or at least Terry Pratchet, that).

Speaking of "Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish", I've only just read "Mostly Harmless" and found it sad that Douglas Adams will not be writing something with a more cheerful ending, ( or joining the "Be more kind to Marvin society").

The Bonobos can also repair any of your electronic goods, ( subject to non surface mounted components of course!) and write the complete works of Shakespeare on Word, without it going down once!

How are they with shonky internet connections?

*glares at computer*

I heard that there was, in fact, another book in the works. Or rather in Mr Adams' computer. They've fished it out and are seeing what can be salvaged, I believe.

But then I thought he wrote MH to definitively kill off his characters so he could avoid writing another book about them, so...

They now all leafing thru' their Concise Oxford dictionaries to find "Shonky".

No, at least 3 are signing frantically with passing linguistic researchers!

Never could understand how a man who hated writing so much could write so many books, and how someone so familiar with the constraining aspects of technology could stand using a Mac.

Shonky = 'not very good' in British Understatement.

And what, pray tell, are they signing?

I don't know about 'much', but yes given his problems I guess 'at all' would fit the bill1 Actually, he was one of the very few authors whose extra curricular veiws/activities I actually wanted to hear about, which was a good thing since he was so much wrapped up in them rather than putting out the next hitchiker book (good for him, even if bad for me!).

As Murphy's Law would have it, while it is almost impossible to escape having the opinions of various actors/writers/singers etc etc about everything from world peace to the best way to do your makeup rammed down your throat at every opportunity, somehow I managed to miss every interveiw/tv programme etc etc DNA ever did. Until I was surfing the back issues of the guardian, ame across an interveiw in which he happened to be talking about this place, and, well, here I am...

You can tell my connection went down and I'm waiting for it to connect again, can't you?

Shonky never reached Leeds or perhaps its an age thing.
The bonobos are signing in British Sign language ( actually a sub dialect that allows the use of feet and 130 signs for banana).
I assume that you're using electronic Guardians, otherwise don't drop a match in your place. Didn't see the article myself, must look it up when I get the time.

When I used to drink ( before my current incarnation as a camel) I never used to get hangovers, I was frequently sick tho'and than just didn't help with the opposite...

An Australian colleague has just informed me that 'shonky' is Aussie slang. Since I've been using it for years this rather implies that I've watched one to many episodes of neighbours

Ah. The banana dialect *nods sagely* I thought they might be making rude gestures.

The electronic Guardian is a godsend (though I'm not above keeping old yellowing back issues of newspapers), though not as satisfying as the real thing. I rather miss the weekend papers *sigh*

The opposite what?

With their proclivities ( look it up, but in Bonobo it largely consists of inserting a finger in your nose whilst simultaneously peeling two bananas), Bonobos have no sign for rude.
The opposite what ? Yes indeed, you've got it in one!
In case I haven't earlier ( and if I did I promise I'll wipe it up), don't forget the Chinese New Year party at U189308 (February 12th - whenever) Get there, invite your friends, pick a room and party.

*holds computer upside down and shakes it to see if that makes more sense *

A party? Well, I might just have to saunter that way...

Don't turn it upside down!
All the electricity will rush to the top of its diodes!

That, I suspect, is the point

Ou, you're so cruel!
Not letting you near my diodes.

Well, I have to say it hasn't done much good. I may try soothing words and roses next...

And now a word from the Society of Irate Red Roses :-
"Where does this Valentine live then?"