h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Not a lot. I was using a knackered lighter last weekend and the excessive attempts at lighting the thing pulled the edge of my thumb away from the nail, and then a bit that was meant to be under the nail started popping out beside it, exposing some very tender stuff.

Told you I was being a whimp!

Why don't you get an electronic lighter?

I keep meaning to refill the Clippers, but it never seems to happen. I'd be the same with an electronic on, but a little bit more out of pocket.

Tut tut...and just when I thought it was something really manly that you'd been doing.
Lighting a lighter indeed!

My flatmate, Creepy Uncle Paul (CUP) has got a message for you:

'Lekker bly, hoop jy word gesond gou. Groete Paul'

I'm sure he makes it up as he goes along.

*blinks*
Ummm... that's Afrikaans, isn't it?
*feels really embarrassed*
I can't understand it............................

Ha! I think it means 'be well' and stuff. But it could mean anything!

Actually, I thought it might be Klingon.

I reckon It must be raining in London at the moment

Oh, er, ah, er, hmmm, yeah.

I haven't even got my tie on yet!

Naked again?! Tut tut...

Not quite! I've got the trousers & shirt on. Hang on, I've got to sort out the coffee before it starts spurting out of the wotsit all over the thingy.

'Lekker bly, hoop jy word gesond gou. Groete Paul'

should translate into something like

'Happy, hope you recover soon. Bye Paul'

The wotsit over the thingy? Dare I ask?

Tell Paul I say Dankie (Thank you). That much I do know

Eh up, who be this Max Headroom then?

Hel..hel..hel..hel..hello!

(it's difficult doing a Max Headroom impression in text innit!)

Paul said something which I think means 'no sweat', but could mean 'engage the cloaking shield' for all I know!

WHF????????

Sorry - that was meant to be WTF and was aimed at the Max Headroom thing.

Wow, it would appear that Max Headroom is a stealth translator! Pops in, translates, pops out again.