h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*piles up a mound of snow and contemplates the moral issues associated with stuffing a huge wad of snow down Peregrins back*
Hmmm...
*decides against it as he may not like snow that much*

Anyway...there's still snow here It's great Not as much as mostly it's gone in the fog and rain but there's still random snow drifts... as shown by the Postman Pat bloke who got stuck in one on the lane
*grins*
We had snow over Christmas too, it was so pretty, always makes everything more cheery

*compiles his own arsenal of snowballs*

Yes, we had a proper white Christmas on Christmas Day, which the older members of our family enjoyed looking out on, the younger members (and my dad) enjoyed throwing at each other, and the dogs (which almost outnumber the people) enjoyed charging round in and stuffing their noses in random drifts.

We didn't get the snow until the 27th - but wow did it snow.

*assembles pile of carefully saved snowballs ready to throw*

I know, it was so cool, snows great

*wonders how long they could sit and talk about snow for*

Mind you it wasn't as deep as that Christmas when all the power got cut off because of the snow

*remembers something*
Oh MaW, you're at Not'nam uni aren't you? What's it like really as other than what it says in the prospectus I know very little about it you see...

*quietly sets up a snow cannon, stolen from a ski resort, and aims it at Tinkerbell*

This is a bit like the USA's defence plans; build up an incredibly threatening attack force to make sure nobody thinks of attacking you, then act surprised when people get worried and scared about it.

*carefully starts building a snow barracade*

Hmmm...

* lobs some mile-wide snowballs in the general direction of George W Bush *

* directs a shockwave at Peregrin's pile of snowballs, turning it into a large cloud of snowflakes which cover Peregrin from head to toe *

Snowpresident!

Right! I declare SnowWar on MaW!!!

*aims his snowcannon in MaW's direction and blasts him ten feet backwards with a stream of icey cold snow*

*keeps a wary eye on Tinkerbell to see which way she goes, and passes her a small bribe*

* picks himself up *

That's it! SnowWar it is!

* fifty or so penguins appear with an extremely cool black sort of rippling effect and begin making snowballs for MaW to throw at Peregrin *

Hrmph, you've got slave backup. *has made seven snowballs to MaW's 500 in the last few seconds*

*radios in for air backup*

*flutters in next to Peregrin*
Air Back up?
*waves her wand and magics up many snowballs*
Does this count???
*decides to get rid of the penguins first*
Oy Pingus!!!
*throws a snowball over the top of the penguins heads and watches as they all fall over*
That evens it out a bit...
*throws a snowball at MaW*

*throws a snowball at Peregrin*

*grins*
...
*starts randomly throwing snowballs all around the room*

* more penguins appear, wearing special suits that prevent them falling over. They set to making and throwing snowballs with great determination, enthusiasm and squawking, but without very much in the realm of aiming. MaW, with a .5 metre diameter snowcannon and telescopic sights, provides the accuracy that the general barrage of the penguins lacks *

*sits back and watches the penguins and Tinkerbell throwing snowballs in completely random directions, generally depleting the penguin population*

*five F16?thread=*sits back and watches the penguins and Tinkerbell throwing snowballs in completely random directions, generally depleting the penguin population*

*five F16s roar overhead, dropping large amounts of snow on everyone, burying them completely. The pilots are delighted with this new, much more fun, alternative to napalm* Hmm, perhaps I should have got out of the way before ordering them to do that... *digs himself out with his claws, and starts rooting around for the snow cannon*

* MaW struggles to the surface of the enormous pile of snow, spits out a load of slush, empties his lungs of icy water and spends a few minutes choking *

*pats MaW on the back*

Ha! Do you admit defeat yet?

*wonders which pile of snow Tinkerbell is under*